Family providing childcare: WWYD

S-Tuna · February 2013

I have been considering offering to babysit my nephew in my house starting this fall. He will be 8 months old by then. Theoretically, I will be a SAHM by then as well. I would offer to take care of him during the day instead of sending him to a childcare center. I wouldn't mind watching him at all. I would love to do it, actually.

BUT, would you charge them? (OR, if your sibling took care of your child, would you pay them?)

Any other thoughts on this situation? Anyone in this situation?

Rachey1082 · February 2013

It is possible I will be watching my neice this fall. When I discussed what they would be able to pay me it was 25 a day. Which is half what they were paying when they had a high quality childcare in their area or yours, Columbus!.

But, I'd only have her for half days, and that was one reason she came up with that price. She said they would pay us 4050 a day if it was a full work day.

S-Tuna · February 2013

I can't come up with a reason that this isn't a good idea as long as they pay me. I don't know if I should offer the child care and then ask how much they are willing to pay, or if I should offer the care for "X" amount of dollars. Am I over thinking this?

NotSharknado · February 2013

MrsSkull1107:
Hmm. I think I'd want to charge but less than what you charge your nanny family. But I could also see doing it for free. I don't know. I'm no help!!

This. I just wouldn't charge as much. I've done it for family and friends 5 days a week and 8 plus hours. There's no way they would let me do it for free. For my niece I would only take 75 a week and for my friend it was 125 a week. I went according to what they made. BUT, I waited until they brought up the money and we went from there.

Rachey1082 · February 2013

Rachey1082:
It is possible I will be watching my neice this fall. When I discussed what they would be able to pay me it was 25 a day. Which is half what they were paying when they had a high quality childcare in their area or yours, Columbus!.

But, I'd only have her for half days, and that was one reason she came up with that price. She said they would pay us 4050 a day if it was a full work day.

Stupid bump mobile deleting all my punctuation. .

NotSharknado · February 2013

STuna:
I can't come up with a reason that this isn't a good idea as long as they pay me. I don't know if I should offer the child care and then ask how much they are willing to pay, or if I should offer the care for "X" amount of dollars. Am I over thinking this?nbsp;

They will most likely bring it up first. When it's family, it's very easy to get taken advantage of, even if it's not intended.

S-Tuna · February 2013

I would definitely not charge my normal rates. But I have no idea how much to charge them? Maybe ask for the same amount they pay the child care center? Or less than that amount? Definitely not more.

Rachey1082 · February 2013

STuna:
I can't come up with a reason that this isn't a good idea as long as they pay me. I don't know if I should offer the child care and then ask how much they are willing to pay, or if I should offer the care for "X" amount of dollars. Am I over thinking this?nbsp;

I think you should offer the childcare then ask what they are comfortable paying. You can decide if it will work for everyone from there.

Rachey1082 · February 2013

STuna:
I can't come up with a reason that this isn't a good idea as long as they pay me. I don't know if I should offer the child care and then ask how much they are willing to pay, or if I should offer the care for "X" amount of dollars. Am I over thinking this?nbsp;

I think you should offer the childcare then ask what they are comfortable paying. You can decide if it will work for everyone from there.

S-Tuna · February 2013

shanado:
STuna:
I can't come up with a reason that this isn't a good idea as long as they pay me. I don't know if I should offer the child care and then ask how much they are willing to pay, or if I should offer the care for "X" amount of dollars. Am I over thinking this?nbsp;
They will most likely bring it up first. When it's family, it's very easy to get taken advantage of, even if it's not intended.

Have you felt this way? Do you still? I'm afraid of this because my brother and I are so close. I'm afraid that this might cause drama somehow. But on the other hand, we are super close. If we have issues, we just call them out and deal with it. I don't anticipate drama, but I've never been in this situation before. Watching someone's else's kid on a regular schedule is a big deal, ya know. (Still feel like I'm over thinking, lol.)

S-Tuna · February 2013

Rachey and Mrs.Skull, you two need to figure it out and let me know. Ha!

NotSharknado · February 2013

With my friend? Yes. I got treated pretty poorly. SIL? No. We had a mutual respect for each other. With friend, those 8 hour days turned into 10 hour days which entailed them going to work then going and running errands. Which isn't terrible but they made a habit of it. Also, she wouldn't let me take her anywhere. We ended up not talking for two years. If I could go back, I would not have done it TBH.

NotSharknado · February 2013

STuna:
I would definitely not charge my normal rates. But I have no idea how much to charge them? Maybe ask for the same amount they pay the child care center? Or less than that amount? Definitely not more.

I would go less.

S-Tuna · February 2013

MrsSkull1107:
S-Tuna:
Rachey and Mrs.Skull, you two need to figure it out and let me know. Ha!
I wish we could, hun! It's family, though. Whatever you say, it'll be fine. Trust your gut.

You are right. I think this is what I needed to hear.

Rachey1082 · February 2013

What about going on Craigslist or another website where you could openly look at other peoples going rates? Then discount it 25 percent? Something of that nature.

I wouldn't think you would get taken advantage of from your brother if you're super close. My SIL and I don't get along 100 percent of the time, but I would trust that she would be fair with paying me and treating me right. Just make sure the communication always stays calm, open, and honest.

JaysonandKristin · February 2013

Offer the services without the price tag attached. Let them know that if they are seriously considering using you as FT childcare, then both parties can sit down to negotiate rates. Find out what they would have paid at the childcare center and take that into consideration.

Above and beyond money, make sure there are contracts that outline sick time and days off and paid leave of absences. Oh, and SICK POLICY.

I've found that there are NO questions between my little boy's family and me because everything is spelled out in the contract.

S-Tuna · February 2013

Good point, J&K. I have a contract with my current family. There's no reason I can't have one with my brother as well.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · February 2013

If a family member offered to watch my kids, I would still want to pay them. If they did it for free, I would feel like I can't really tell them how I want things (like for instance, what food I want my child to eat, or even the schedule I want them to keep). So for that reason, I would want to have a real contract with them.

Just my 2 cents.

ljsmom11 · February 2013

I would offer childcare then negotiate price. When I was keeping my nephew sil paid me what she paid the dc. She always respected my time and would let me know is anything came up where she needed to work late.

Nanny family is different. My rate has dropped as NB has gotten older. I don't mind at all but I feel disrespected. When nb was young nm would come straight home. Now she will run errands and go shop. I'm working an extra hour or two a day and still get paid the same. I need to grow some balls and discuss this situation but I'm not a confrontational person. I'm being taken advantage if due to lack of communication on all parts.

melissa0726 · February 2013

Agree with PPs that a contract is a good idea, even though it is family. Better to settle all variables up front and start on the same page!

I would offer your services and then let them bring up the idea of payment. I can't imagine that they wouldn't. I would probably try to find out their current DCP rates and then undercut that. I would want to give them a good deal, but not give away my time for free. Just my two cents!

Duckieer · February 2013

You should definitely get paid. I think everyone is in agreement there. Watching a family member's kid every once in a while for free is expected, on a daily/weekly basis is much different. As far as how to come up with the price... If you need to make a certain amount in order for you to stay home, then I would tell them up front what you would charge when you offer the childcare. If you don't have a price that you "need" to make, then I would let them bring it up.

I definitely agree with PPs about the contract. It's so much easier when everything is outlined. Plus if you have expectations that are clear and in writing then if something ends up not working out then you have a way out without everyone getting their feelings hurt.

ljsmom11 · February 2013

LalaMama81:
ljsmom11:
I would offer childcare then negotiate price. When I was keeping my nephew sil paid me what she paid the dc. She always respected my time and would let me know is anything came up where she needed to work late.
Nanny family is different. My rate has dropped as NB has gotten older. I don't mind at all but I feel disrespected. When nb was young nm would come straight home. Now she will run errands and go shop. I'm working an extra hour or two a day and still get paid the same. I need to grow some balls and discuss this situation but I'm not a confrontational person. I'm being taken advantage if due to lack of communication on all parts.
Oh wow, I would not be happy Was that in your contract? That the rate would go down when the baby got older? Sure that is common w/ a day care center but I've never heard of a family doing that to a nanny. I would definitely set up a meeting to discuss the fact that you are making less and working more.
Also, the reasons daycares charge more for newborns has to do w/ the ratio I think. In some ways and older baby is way more work!

It kind-of just came about. They were having a little financial trouble so I told them we could work something out. Since then I've just let it be. I agree on them being more work! We're potty training now and going through the terrible twos. We also are prepping for preschool. Fortunately it's easy to make it fun for them.

We do not have an official signed contract, just a verbal one. I'm regretting it now.

Jennikd3 · February 2013

In our family we don't charge for babysitting. But so far it's only been temporary situations or parents need a night out kind of things.

But I think if it's going to be an everyday, semi-permanent set up I would expect to pay/charge. If you're already planning to SAH I wouldn't charge as much as a typical childcare center but a little extra would help.

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