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Update of Sorts + Advice Needed (Searching)

MsBlakeMsBlake
in Adoption

Original post is here just to make it easy: https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/70462292.aspx

So, within the last couple weeks, we believe we've found the woman who is my biological mother. We have no confirmation of this other than 1 photo found online. Admittedly, there is a strong resemblance, age, known dates, other info adds up. There's a chance it's all coincidence, but gut feeling says it isn't.

Now for the catch... 

I can't find an e-mail address for her, but we traced relatives via facebook and messaged a few. None replied. I hadn't wanted to just call her out of the blue, but with little information to go on, I did. I've not been able to connect with her. Finally I left a vague message asking for someone to call or email me back to see if I had the correct number. Again, nothing.

At this point, I'm running out of ideas. Frankly, I just want to know if it's even the right person or something so very general as that. Does anyone have experience or an idea as to how to proceed? I tried searching various blogs, but to be blunt, I feel as if there's little for someone in my position because so many blogs are one extreme (angry, hostile) or the other (perfect, perfect, perfect.)

This got longer than intended, but I'd appreciate any insight, ideas, or anything. Thank you. 

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Re: Update of Sorts + Advice Needed (Searching)

  • LIQueenLIQueen
    imageMsBlake:

    Original post is here just to make it easy: https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/70462292.aspx

    So, within the last couple weeks, we believe we've found the woman who is my biological mother. We have no confirmation of this other than 1 photo found online. Admittedly, there is a strong resemblance, age, known dates, other info adds up. There's a chance it's all coincidence, but gut feeling says it isn't.

    Now for the catch... 

    I can't find an e-mail address for her, but we traced relatives via facebook and messaged a few. None replied. I hadn't wanted to just call her out of the blue, but with little information to go on, I did. I've not been able to connect with her. Finally I left a vague message asking for someone to call or email me back to see if I had the correct number. Again, nothing.

    At this point, I'm running out of ideas. Frankly, I just want to know if it's even the right person or something so very general as that. Does anyone have experience or an idea as to how to proceed? I tried searching various blogs, but to be blunt, I feel as if there's little for someone in my position because so many blogs are one extreme (angry, hostile) or the other (perfect, perfect, perfect.)

    This got longer than intended, but I'd appreciate any insight, ideas, or anything. Thank you. 

    If someone emailed me asking if one my relatives was their mom and they were not, I def would email the person back and say I think you have the wrong person..its kinda fishy that no one is emailing you back(maybe they dont know what to say and want to ask her first) so maybe you have the right person.

    7/18/12-1st RE appointment CD2 blood work taken. Told to move straight to IVF. Starting BC pills and FSH injections plus Lupron. Hopefully doing ET in September Off BCP March 2011 Started TTC July 2011 7 months TTC with no luck an then.... Diagnosed 2/24/12 with 2 Ovarian Cysts. 3/22/12-Lap to remove cysts, look for endo, and see if tubes are clear. 3/22/12-Diagnosed with Severe Endo(tubes are clear). 4/4/12-Post op OBGYN appointment. Told chances of conceiving naturally are very low, but told conceiving in the next few months is our best chance due to being cleaned out during Lap. Referred to a RE. RE said IVF is our only chance to get pregnant. Told only a 20% chance even with two put in. 9/5-Lupron 9/20 Stims(Menopur & Follistim) 9/30 Trigger time 10/2 ER 10/3 fert report-out of 7 eggs retrieved only 2 fertilized. Hello "Thing 1 and Thing 2!" Kinda sad there is none to freeze. Because only 2 we will have 2DT to get them back into a natural envionment 10/4 ET. Found out that only 1 divided. We love you "Thing 2." Thing 1 is now snuggled inside me and we are praying it will be our take home baby! **Did not even make it to my beta, the day before on 10/16/12 I got my F'in period** Such a stab in the heart. Nov 2012-Moving onto domestic newborn adoption! Can't wait for my take home baby. We will try IVF again after 1-2 years of a clear head. Need a break from infertility treatments/issues for my mental sanity! image
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  • MsBlakeMsBlake

    That's what we (me & my bf) were thinking as well. I mean, I've tried to keep my messages to a fairly small and obviously connected group since my intention is not to 'out' her or anything should people not know... still, I wish one person would take the time to say something either way.


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  • IRRIRR member
    Excited for you that you may have found your mom, but perhaps you just need to give them time to respond.  They may all be processing the information.  Be patient.  Expect the worst and hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised.  I know some people are reading this and thinking "expect the worse"?  It would be my defense mechanism to not be disappointed if things don't work out the way I hope, but I would still be hopeful.  GL.  Keep us posted.
    image

    Failed Matches - December 2012, May 2013, December 2013
    Moved on to  gestational surrogacy with a family friend who is our angel and due 7/23/15


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  • MsBlakeMsBlake

    Update: it's her.

    No one has confirmed it to me directly, however, I found out that the state where she was married has digital copies of vital records. Signature/handwriting is exactly the same, so...:/

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