Too early for a sitter??

raraavis28 · February 2013

My LOs are 6 weeks old and I was at the point of feeling recovered enough and stir crazy enough that when my former roommate invited DH and I to go out w/ her and a bunch of other ppl to celebrate her bday I really wanted to go. Plus MIL has been chomping at the bit to babysit ever since before these guys were born so we decided to let her and FIL put our little guys to bed while we went out. I explained our whole feeding and bedtime system, had everything set etc. and we were only gone two hours but when we got back both MIL and FIL were holding babies, looking shellshocked, claiming that they "would not sleep in the cribs" and "wouldn't stop screaming when put down". Of course this makes me feel terrible for leaving them and I'm nervous about them being way off their schedule, having been put down for the night a good two hours late....of course now they're sound asleep in their cribs no problem. I just wonder if I should have waited until they were older before having anyone besides me and DH put them to bed, or if that makes a difference at all. I dunno....how old were your LOs when you left them w/ a sitter? Am I just being an overanxious ftm?

LottaLattes · February 2013

I wouldn't personally leave 6 seekers with a sitter, but don't categorize grandparents in that group : your babies will be fine, no worries there! I find I have the best luck getting mine to bed before grandparents take over, or going out in the day. This has happened like three times in 8 months so we aren't exactly going out all the time though. Hope you had a nice evening out, and don't get too stressed out about it all!

Nmschultz · February 2013

My boys are #2 and #3 for me, so I wasn't as scared to leave them as I was with my daughter. We actually had a sitter for a few hours at 3 weeks old. They are now 14 weeks, and we've had a sitter 3 times. I will say, it's great to get some free time! I definitely feel rejuvenated after getting out, even if only for an hour or two.

katiebenes · February 2013

I'll have to have my parents and sister sitting the twins for an hour and a half when I go back to work at like 6ish weeks (if I get that long of a leave... we're still not sure)

I think they'll get used to the whole two babies thing... if it was their first night and they aren't used to twins, it was probably a little difficult

Reilly626 · February 2013

Don't beat yourself up! Grandparents aren't strange babysitters they love the babies. Mine are 6 months old and when I leave them with them I know it's not going to run my way but I get over it bc I got out! Mine were 6 weeks old too we spent a night down the shore on the boardwalk for our anniversary and thank god we did it's gone now because of Hurricane sandy!

Mayan2011 · February 2013

My mom watched our babies when they were only a couple weeks old a few times so we could run some quick errands. Don't sweat it. You also need time away. Hopefully, the nest time things go a bit smoother.

We are actually going away for a week now that they are just over 6 months old. My mom will be watching them again.

ghl · February 2013

I don't think it's an issue of the babies being too young, more just the grandparents probably being a little overwhelmed as their first time w/ the babies. What we did w/ DS 1 was that for anyone who would be babysitting, and initially it was just family, we'd invite them over one evening beforehand for dinner while we're home, and have them go through the evening/bedtime routine with us, as well as just spend a little time w/ DS so that both the relative and DS would get used to each other and see DS's habits. We were all still figuring out what would soothe DS when he was tired or cranky. MIL and DH's aunt helped us with him initially - DS's aunt watched him for a full day when we had a wedding to attend when DS was 8 week's old, and since DH and I were both laid off after DS was born, MIL would often watch him for a couple hours so that we could go to career fairs and interviews. Of course one baby I'm sure is easier than juggling two. When the twins come, we'll probably do the same before anyone babysits and when possible have more than one family member watching them as a team since there will be 3 kids to deal with and that's a lot for us, nevermind anyone who doesn't do it every day.

Don't beat yourself up over it. You need a break every now and then too, your parents/in-laws will get the hang of things, and one evening here and there where the babies are off their routine is not going to harm your kids in the long run.

angelfire02 · February 2013

We left ours for an hour when they were 5 weeks old, we just went to dinner but my mom was dying to babysit and I needed a break. It will go better next time, I agree with pp, I still haven't left mine with a 'sitter', only my mom, but I feel fine about that.

You deserve a break! I would probably try a day time thing next time, it will most likely go smoother than bed time.

leapgirl8 · February 2013

We had a postpartum doula 2 nights a week for the first month, so the first time we left them with someone else was when they were 6 days old. (We were at home, but sleeping.) But my brother and his girlfriend visited when they were 3 weeks old, with basically zero baby experience, and cared for them for 4 nights in a row, also while we slept. We went on a date and left them with my mom when they were 5 weeks old. So no, I do not think that 6 weeks old is too early - especially for grandparents! You NEED a mental break with newborn twins - it is effing hard work, and you have nothing to feel bad about. They will be just fine

zombiemommy · February 2013

I think we left the boys with the grandparents even earlier than that, but not at bedtime. Our boys don't go down until 10-11pm, so we've been able to always get home before then. I wouldn't beat yourself up! It's one night; they'll be fine!

lynn0926 · February 2013

Mine are not here yet, but DH and I plan to go out for dinner for maybe 2 hrs when they are 2 weeks old. My whole family lives in another state so my mom is staying with me the first 2 weeks and my das will join at the end of the 2 weeks. I plan on having my parents care for them just to get out. You need your sanity too! I also don't think of family as sitters.

macchiatto · February 2013

I don't think it's too early, especially since you had one adult per baby! Our first time was at 5 weeks old, for Valentine's Day. We went out for a few hours for a lunch date. We have no family anywhere in the area but I had two friends (both grandmothers themselves) who'd each been coming over once or twice a week to help me out, and they babysat together. It went fine. Don't feel bad! Even if it didn't go all that smoothly, they probably just need some more practice.

raraavis28 · February 2013

Thanks for the perspective, ladies! It was nice to get a couple hours out....honestly I think the best part was getting dressed up all cute again lol....that and having more than 5 minutes w/ DH that weren't interrupted by crying babies or just racing to get to sleep. :-P I also appreciate the tips for next time (whenever that may be) and will definitely keep them in mind!

Jen0204 · February 2013

I think around 4 weeks we left the girls with my mom for a couple of hours while we grabbed dinner. And then we never looked back, lol.

One thing we did that I think helped everyone was my mom and my MIL would come by during the day while we were home so we could nap. That let them get used to the babies and how we did things while we were there, so then if we would go grab dinner or run to the store we were all more comfortable with it. Don't feel guilty at all - just like getting used to twins was an adjustment for all of us it's the same for our families. They'll get used to it!

Want a personalized experience?

Too early for a sitter??

Re: Too early for a sitter??

Choose Another Board

Search Boards