Having trouble with parent
20thirteen
member
So, first things first, I had moved back in with my parent because after BD and I broke up I had no place to go. And before anyone gets weirded out by me saying "parent" let me explain... My parent used to be my father, but went through a gender change about 5 years ago. Her name is Kathy now. But, maybe it's just me being hard-headed, she is not my mother. Anyway, she thinks making the spare bedroom into a nursery is a good idea, which I'm so glad that we have an extra room. The issue is, she is disabled and can't lift more than 50 lbs, so when the time comes to move out furniture, I'd have to go find (buy) help. Actually, I think maybe she can't lift more than 35 lbs, a low number, her spine is fused in some places. There is a spare bed, dresser and nightstand that need to be cleaned off/out so I can put them on craigslist so we can get some extra money to fix up that room. Cleaning is not her forte. The bed is covered in clothes and electronics, the dresser is full of clothes I'm positive she hasn't looked at in at least a year and a half, and I don't even want to think what could be in the night stand drawers. On top of it all, she installed a cable box and bought a flat screen tv for this spare room that no one can stay in because it's filled with clothes she couldn't fit into her own closet/dresser in her room. Every time I ask her to help me clean it out, she suddenly remembers that she has to be [insert some obnoxious made up place here].
I am sort of embarrassed to ask friends to help me because I have no idea what I might find in there. I am so frustrated. I guess if there is a question it would be should I risk asking friends and getting embarrassed about the possibility of finding gross things or become a naggy harpie which is really not what I want to do.
Re: Having trouble with parent
Are you paying rent to Kathy? What sort of cleaning/cohoabitating arrangement do you have?
This baby is your baby. You need to prep for said baby. If Kathy helps, great. If not, clean it out yourself. If it's stuff that Kathy needs/wants, make suggestions as to where it can go in the house.
My mom is a hoard.. Stuff everywhere! If I ever try to touch her things or organize she goes nuts. Its a disease, i swear! Ok, prob not nice for me to say but Ive been living with it for a very long time and have seen no progress! I understand that there is a void in such people and they try to fill it with "things." im sure I use other means to fill such voids like food and sex! Which might be worse!!
Anyways- If you dont feel like cleaning out her/his stuff then dont! I mean thats a big responsibility and your pregnant. Also it might bring up emotions for her to actually see someone with her stuff.. Which I guess maybe not since she offered the room to you! So its your choice either deal with the responsibility (and im sure ur friends will not judge. They want to help u.) or dont make it a nursery and have the baby in your room. You could have a talk with her and tell her you need her help. But its up to you maybe this is her way of wanting to move on and get rid of stuff but not do it herself.. You def stand to gain if you can deal with it! Call your friends, order pizza and have fun!