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friends without kids

mnb311mnb311 member
in Babies: 6 - 9 Months

Just venting here :)  I feel like I am having trouble relating to my friends that don't have kids.  Anyone else?  My best friend is married but is not at all interested in having kids.  We've been friends for 14 years (half my life!) and have always been there for eachother through all of life's ups and downs and whenever we're together we never run out of things to talk about.  But lately when we talk on the phone or get together its kind of awkward, like obviously my life now revolves around my son and so when someone asks how im doing or whats up my answer usually has to do with baby stuff but I feel like I don't want to bore her with baby talk and then I feel weird bc I have nothing else to talk about or anything to relate with her.  wahhh

My other very close friend is single and still paaaartying it up every weekend and I feel llike I'm just in a completely different universe.

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Re: friends without kids

  • cmurphy09cmurphy09 member
    Just sounds like each of you are in different places or want different things. It happens, I wouldn't take it personally. Perhaps a bit of baby blues? You a new mom, obviously you're going to talk about lo. Maybe you guys should go for a Mani/pedi and give you gal pals some time.
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  • SunAndRainSunAndRain member

    I'm sorry but this isn't going to be what you want to hear.

    You have NOTHING else to talk about other than baby?  You get don't get out AT ALL?  Watch an occasional movie?  Listen to the news? Read a book?  What about your interest in HER life?  Don't you care whether she is in a happy place?  Maybe she has a personal problem she would love to talk through, not even to hear you advice but just to think through with a trusted sounding board.

    I don't know what else to tell you other then to expand your horizons.  I have no problem finding things to talk about with my single-no-kids and married-no-kids friends.  Sure, I'm not as available as I once was.  But the time we do spend together is filled with conversation.  Frankly my friends are interesting as hell and I love hearing about all the exciting things they are doing!

    As PP said, friendships wax and wane as we all go through different stages of life at different times.  Sometimes friendships disolve. Personally, I can't relate to my child being the ONLY thing in my life I have to focus on and talk about. That said, if you are truely content with having nothing else to discuss, then you might want to find like-minded friends.  Nothing wrong with that either. :)

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  • Sawyerplus1Sawyerplus1 member

    I totally feel you, OP. It can be an awkward adjustment, but it doesn't mean the friendship is over. I had the same problem when I first had DS1. I was young and very few of my friends were married, nevermind considering children. Our lives changed and so did our relationships, but I'm still friends with many of them. Relationships with friends who do have kids can change too.

    Be gentle with yourself. I'm sure that soon enough you'll have more time for things like books,movies, more frequent outings, etc that will give you more things to talk about. To be honest, I've been a SAHM for 5 years now and I still  experience the conversation shut down when people ask what I do and I tell them I'm a SAHM. 

    You ARE in a different universe, but you wont be forever as you develop new friendships, maintain old friendships, possibly in new ways, and have more time for yourself.  

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