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March 2013 Moms
fivefeetsmall
member
A reason to be irritated?
fivefeetsmall
member
So I switched ob's a few weeks ago. My mom is my support person since my baby daddy is an idiot. Anyhow, we go to my appointment today and I love this new guy. So my mom starts asking questions and though they were not rude to her and answered her questions, they didn't spend a long time acknowledging her. I understand why that would rub her the wrong way a bit. Well, we get in the car and she's like "umm I don't like him and I think you need to switch again". I respond with "why". She says that he treats me like a queen and doesn't even acknowledge her. So I'm like wait you'd prefer that you be treated like a queen and I don't get acknowledges. She says no, but they should show me as much attention. I'm all like wtf in my head. Then I kind of ripped her head off by telling her that this isn't about her, her body, or her child and though I appreciate her support that my comfort level with the doctor takes priority. Am I a giant b?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: A reason to be irritated?
Was it clear that your mom is going to be your main support?
I pretty much expected my OB to treat my DH with the same level of respect when he came into my appointment last time, because it's my DH and he's going to be the one at my side and needs to be as aware of many things as I am when it comes to delivery and such.
However, my comfort with the OB is first and foremost. If DH didn't like him, I'd listen, but if his issue was because the OB treated me nicer... yeah, I'd roll my eyes at him and ignore it.
We had to switch OB's (in the middle of a miscarriage, it was a mess), and DH pointed out that he liked the new midwife and OB much better anyway. When I asked why, he said "Because she completely ignored me." And he was right, that's how it should be!
These appointments are all about us, the ones with the kid growing in our utes. Period. I'm not sure if your mom expected it to be like when you were a kid going in for your shots where she was the main person addressed, but its not going to be like that. Her presence there is not important, and any time spent making sure she was ok, is time taken away from you. What did she want, the doctor to ask her how she was feeling or what her thoughts were on your weight gain?
BFP 4/18/12, M/C 4/27/12 at 6w6d
BFP 7/1/12 - Counting down to our little girl, EDD 3/8/13
This. I think it's important how he treats you, not your mother. Your mother is not the one who will be giving birth!
Yup! And, no, you're not being a b. Your mom is being a bit unreasonable.
BFP #1 09/02/11 M/C 09/12/11 8w6days
BFP #2 07/18/12 Baby S born on his EDD 03/23/13
SS - age 12...SD - age 8...DS - 13 mos.
I don't think you're being a giant b at all. I think your comfort level is what's most important and while it would be nice for your mom to have the same comfort level, it's not as important as yours. You don't want to risk getting stuck with a dr that you absolutely hate this late in the game.
Perhaps make sure he knows your mom is the main support person and see how it goes from there with their relationship. But honestly your dr should be more focused on you and I don't think you should change your dr if you really like this one and can build a good relationship with him.