Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
duffmaker
member
Re: Co-sleeper
We bought ours off craigslist with DS for $40 (from a pet-free, smoke-free grandmother who bought it for her grandchild to stay over in, but only used it once)! We used for about 4-5 months, we loved it, and will use it with this baby too!
The good thing is you can pull the side up and move it off of the bed too to make it more like a bassinet, which is really good if the baby is a loud sleeper!
I feel like $150 is a lot to spend for something you'd only use 1-2 months.
Would you consider using one of the little sleeper beds that goes in your actual bed with you? You can pick one of those up for $40 or so.
We had one for the first 2 months M was born, and it was a life saver, because I had a lot of trouble getting in and out of my bed. I will say, though, that if we didn't have a king size bed, it would have been a little tight.
Another nice feature is that it folds up for transport. We would take it to my parents' house and put M in it for naps when she was a newborn.
https://www.target.com/p/summer-infant-by-your-side-sleeper/-/A-13680579?ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001&AFID=Google_PLA_df&LNM=|13680579&CPNG=Baby&kpid=13680579&LID=PA&ci_src=17588969&ci_sku=13680579
We thought about one of those, but it will take up a ton of room on the bed and I feel like I wouldn't sleep at all because I would be so cramped and uncomfortable. (We have a queen, and in desperate need of a king... I just can't reason buying a new mattress when we still have 1-3years of use left in our current one KWIM?)
m/c 2002 7w2d
bfp 9.6.12 | edd 5.17.13 | m/c 9.19.12 5w5d
bfp 10.18.12 | edd 6/28/13
beta#1 10.18.12 - 96 / progestrone 32 || beta#2 10.22.12 - 711 || beta#3 10.25.12 - 2608 DD born 6/27/13
bfp 7.16.14 | edd 3/27/15
beta#1 7.18.14 - 149 || beta#2 7.21.14 - ??
In your situation, I'd probably skip it. Do you have a PNP with the bassinet part you could use in your room? Or find one used.
We used a co-sleeper in our room for 7 months. Our master bedroom is downstairs and the other bedrooms are upstairs. I was not getting out of bed and walking upstairs every few hours to nurse! The only reason we moved DD out at 7 months was because she was pulling herself up in the co-sleeper.
This has been our debate. Our big dog sleeps in her bed on the floor but the little one sleeps curled up next to me. She is going to have a hard enough time with this transition. My worry is I cannot find a bassinet with good airflow. Does anyone have any recommendations?
I had just kinda thought about getting a rock and play and keeping it next to my bed. Have you guys done this? How did it work out for you?
Makes total sense, we wouldn't have been able to swing it in a queen.
We did this when DD was a little older (2-3 months). I'm not sure if I would feel comfortable using it with a newborn for overnight.
I think you can just get a PNP that allows the bed to be raised like a bassinet. It takes care of two needs in one.
You could always just "side-car" your regular crib to your bed.
Instructions here: https://naturalparentsnetwork.com/how-to-side-car-your-crib/