I don't think so MIL!

StephRN23 · February 2013

I had text MIL after I bought that high chair credcat pointed out was on sale thanks BTW and told her how cool it was for camping. She text back saying she just bought bowls, spoons and cups for camp. I text back "I don't think K will need them this summer, lol!". And that was that. Fast forward to yesterday when she came over. She asked why I thought K wouldn't be using them and I said that I didn't know when I would be starting solids because of breastfeeding. She then says to K "well mom is ok with starving you, but I'm not. I'll feed you". Umm not your decision to make. And this was said a week before I go back to work and she will be watching K once a week. Yay...

ironmom5 · February 2013

Wow.

WOW. That is 50 shades of rude. I would have flipped my shitt and probably have found alternate child care within the hour. You're a lot calmer than me.

Do you have a Dr's appointment anytime soon? Maybe bring her, so the pedi can ALSO tell her she's being a twatwaffle.

Wow.

StephRN23 · February 2013

ironmom5:
Wow.
WOW.nbsp; That is 50 shades of rude.nbsp; I would have flipped my shitt and probably have found alternate child care within the hour.nbsp; You're a lot calmer than me.
Do you have a Dr's appointment anytime soon?nbsp; Maybe bring her, so the pedi can ALSO tell her she's being a twatwaffle.
Wow.

Unfortunately, no. I did tell her that the pedi said we won't even discuss food until the four month appointment. Looks like I'll be finding other child care in the next two months unless she takes me seriously soon. The good thing is she probably is too cheap to buy food and if I won't be sending any with K, then she has nothing to give her.

ironmom5 · February 2013

StephRN23:
ironmom5:
Wow. WOW.nbsp; That is 50 shades of rude.nbsp; I would have flipped my shitt and probably have found alternate child care within the hour.nbsp; You're a lot calmer than me. Do you have a Dr's appointment anytime soon?nbsp; Maybe bring her, so the pedi can ALSO tell her she's being a twatwaffle. Wow.
Unfortunately, no. I did tell her that the pedi said we won't even discuss food until the four month appointment. Looks like I'll be finding other child care in the next two months unless she takes me seriously soon. The good thing is she probably is too cheap to buy food and if I won't be sending any with K, then she has nothing to give her.

I'm sorry you have to even deal with that. It really burns my butt when family doesn't respect parenting decisions. My ex had a daughter, who I helped raise from the time she was 6months to almost 4 when I left. When she was about 9 months old, she got an ear infection and stopped STTN. I (or her mom on the weekends) would let her fall asleep in the rocking chair in our arms and put her in the crib when she woke up at night.

I've always been vocally against CIO. It's just a thing. My thing, but I was one of the parents and that was what her mother and I had determined worked best for her. (BTW, could not have had a better relationship with her mom. I wish I could have kept her and chucked the ex.) Well, X and I went on vacation for a week when she was about 11 months, and left her with XMIL and instructions how to get her to sleep. When we got back, we were informed that "Oh, well I let her CIO a few nights and now she's fine." It wasn't fine, it was really disrespectful and it ruined our relationship. We were never friends again after that, and she never watched her overnight again while I was in the picture.

I would really sit down and stress how important this is. Bring research, stand your ground. I always wish I had stood my ground more (though now that she is a healthy and normal almost 7-y/o, I've let some guilt go lol). I just would hate to see the same thing happen to you if she goes against your wishes. It's tough to not get along with your MIL.

katigox · February 2013

I agree, stand your ground. If you need to get DH/pedi/scientific research to back you up, then go for it. But definitely go.for.it. It's better than staying resentful (or even just uncomfortable) with your MIL.

angielayne926 · February 2013

Wow.....she needs some boundaries...

laxkal23 · February 2013

kiraliz2:
Ugh, I feel your pain. My MIL bugged us about rice cereal for a while, even though we repeatedly told her we aren't going to feed that to him at all, much less now. She also watches H during the week.
She started her oldest son on cereal at a month per the doctor, so she has a different perspective. We had to really be direct and make it clear that she is not to feed him anything but formula until we say otherwise. Period.
ETA: She even had the nerve to call our pedi a quack when we explained she was in favor of skipping cereal. Um, ok.

My mil keeps asking me about the rice cereal too. I get along great with her, but definitely feel like she is constantly judging my feeding decisions. When he was really little she couldn't believe I was waking him up every 2 hours to feed him (he was preemie and struggling to gain weight, not to mention that he literally would sleep through all feedings if I didn't wake him). Then by about 4 weeks she was asking me when I was going to start rice cereal so he would sleep longer. she didn't seem overly impressed when I said he was never going to have it. Haha. She doesnt mean to be judgy it's just that she can't believe I am putting so much work into breast feeding. "wouldn't it be easier to feed bottles etc." just wait till she hears I intend to breast feed at least a year "gasp!"

shaunnna · February 2013

Ugh this sounds EXACTLY like my MIL. She acts as if DS is her son, not grandson. She is our daycare though so it makes it so much worse. I don't know how many times I've gotten off work to find that she's rewashed his clothes or bottles because "we don't do it well enough." She drives me completely crazy! And I've talked to her about it more than once, but nothing has changed... What bothers me the most is that she will be the grandma DS will get to know the best, while my mom, who is not crazy, is 1,000 miles away.

credcat7 · February 2013

So glad you got one...now we can have a club!!!

crazy people trying to say how our babies will be raised!!

dandlelyon · February 2013

Although I agree with other PPs that your MIL is out of line about starving your LO. I would chalk this up to excited grandparent syndrom. Let her buy the cups, spoons, etc. It isn't hurting anything really. And in reality, your LO will be eating something by this summer, so he/she may need the stuff.

I apologize if this came of snarky, that was not my intent at all. Just pointing out the grandparents are excited for thier new roll. It does should like she needs to be reminded who is the parent though

BabyMakes 3 · February 2013

MandJS:
Yeah. I'd sit down and explain that you are serious. If she can't respect that, you need alternate childcare.

Yes! She needs to know you are 100% serious and if she doesn't respect the decision you've made for your own child, then she won't get that precious time with baby.

LovinLife0710 · February 2013

Ick, I have a feeling my MIL will be the same way. Like PPs have said, I would make sure she respects your wishes or find new child care. Good Luck!!!

StephRN23 · February 2013

dandlelyon:
Although I agree with other PPs that your MIL is out of line about starving your LO.nbsp; I would chalk this up to excited grandparent syndrom.nbsp; Let her buy the cups, spoons, etc.nbsp; It isn't hurting anything really.nbsp; And in reality, your LO will be eating something by this summer, so he/she may need the stuff.
I apologize if this came of snarky, that was not my intent at all.nbsp; Just pointing out the grandparents are excited for thier new roll.nbsp; It does should like she needs to be reminded who is the parent though

Not snarky at all. I do get she's excited for what she bought and that's fine. I just didn't like get comment about how I'm starving my child and she will feed her whatever she wants.

iggywan · February 2013

I think the biggest thing is that she joked about you letting lo starve when you are doing the noble and hard work of breastfeeding... that is what would have bothered me.

But, yeah, excited grandma might not realize how she is overstepping. Sigh

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