Not telling anyone, even parents?

cg2307 · February 2013

Hi everyone! I am 5w5d today, with my second! Due October 6th. With our first we waited until we were 10 1/2 weeks and had an ultrasound and seen baby and heartbeat before telling anyone (even our parents). That's our plan for this one too. I've noticed that a lot of people tell their parents very early on though. I'm just wondering how many others waited before telling their parents? I know we want to wait, because I don't want to have to tell them otherwise if something happens (especially since my mom absolutely cannot keep a secret) but it's so hard to keep it a secret!

marlalu · February 2013

I feel your pain. This is our first and we're very close with our parents and have decided to wait until closer to 12 weeks to tell anyone. I'm actually quite enjoying the secret with just my husband right now. I'm sure it will get harder as the right time appraoches.

MySunshine213 · February 2013

Last time we told very early on.. By the end I wished we had some more time to just have the pregnancy to ourselves.

so this time we are going to try to hold out till Easter. I will be just about 12 weeks and we'll see most of our close family that day.

KimKellyIsMyFriend · February 2013

We won't tell anyone until after my first ultrasound. I'm a pretty private person and my mom has a big mouth, so does my BFF. So for now its just my husband & me who know!

layali · February 2013

With my first pregnancy, I planned not to tell MIL, FIL or my dad until after we had a heartbeat and passed 10 wks. Because I was visiting my dad right after we discovered the mmc and he ended up taking me for my last betas and ultrasound that confirmed growth had stopped, I had to share what was going on. I decided to tell him right after this BFP because I would want his support if it doesn't work out. No one else in the family will know until after we make it past 10 weeks, minimum.

losersaidwhat · February 2013

My mom is the least supportive person EVER and didn't really seem happy at all when I told her I was pregnant the second time and was pretty like... oh... well that sucks... gotta go to work now... when I miscarried. She doesn't even know about my last two pregnancies either (both losses) as a result because I was waiting for a heartbeat to tell her. Same situation this time too.

We're waiting to tell my IL for a different reason - I would be upset telling them I'm pregnant again and them being excited and then having to tell them we lost the baby. I don't want to inflict unnecessary pain on them. I have a friend that I can talk to about my losses because she's had many herself so she understands what I'm going through better than I feel like my MIL would anyway.

We'll probably tell them shortly before FB knows, but it won't be until AT LEAST after my u/s, and second tri for FB.

Ashleea439 · February 2013

I am pregnant with our first. I only told my mom and my BFF for now. I know that they can keep a secret. We debated on telling my in laws, but unfortunately they have big mouths, so we didnt feel comfortable telling them just yet. We are going to wait until after our first ultrasound to make sure we hear a heartbeat and everything is okay. Then we will tell them.

Sketchipyro · February 2013

With our second pregnancy we waited to after the NT scan (although I did tell my mom at 9wks). I plan on doing the same this time. I am a little superstitious about it. I know telling people really doesnt have any bearing on whether the baby sticks or not. But with my first pregancy I told some people and I mc'd. So I have one friend I tell because I need to tell someone and the rest of my family and friends have to wait. The only wrinkle in my plan is my daughter's 1st birthday party. I will be 10wks along and will be tempted to blab especially if I'm starting to show. I know that happens sooner with the 2nd.

citygirl17 · February 2013

I will tell my mom next week. I can't wait another couple weeks until we have our first ultrasound to tell her. Not to mention that I think she'd be upset with me if I waited too long! Then we'd move to telling a few of our closest friends. Basically, anyone we know we could turn to for support even if something does happen to the baby.

I will probably tell most of my extended family at Easter as well, and make it "public" information around the same time.

bkeane619 · February 2013

First pregnancy we told my parents right away and in laws after heartbeat found. Last time we told our parents right away. My parents know this time but I am not telling my inlaws because we had miscarriage last time and I really don't feel like dealing with them if something goes wrong. We will wait to make sure things are going smoothly this time for the inlaws.

conradtn · February 2013

We told both sets of parents because they knew the journey we were on with MFI (male factor infertility). Plus, in case it doesn't work out, DH wanted parents to also know so they could support us.

LSomers26 · February 2013

My husband and I are pregnant for the first time and have decided not to tell anyone else at all until after our 12 week appointment because the first trimester is generally the riskiest. We are also excited to have this special time just the two of us to enjoy the idea of being parents come October! Its a fun secret that we get to share with just each other and I love that.

huntjul · February 2013

We've kept it to ourselves except I told my midwife/friend. I don't plan to tell parents until at least after heartbeat is found, and that won't be until at least 8 weeks when my first appointment is scheduled. I'm considering waiting much longer than that though, since my parents are coming to visit us and I could tell them in person... if I can hold out until 14 weeks.

danandkam · February 2013

We have already announced it to the world. DH and I are both terrible at keeping secrets and we would want/need the support of our family and friends if something happened. I know a lot of our friends and family pray for us, our DD, and our future LO daily. I like to think that prayers work and the more people we have praying for us the better. Even if things do go wrong this will help us through it.

kelle017 · February 2013

We never told our parents about our previous pregnancies.

We haven't told them about this one either. My sister and her husband know, and my brother in laws brother (because he is dh's manager) know and that's it.

I was going to tell my boss today, but because of the snow I didn't go into work. I will probably tell her next week.

I would like to wait until we hear the heartbeat again to tell parents.

I'll announce it on fb after first tri. I was thinking April Fools day.

Beccabby · February 2013

We arent telling anyone until after the first Tri. My mom is the gossip queen. We want to keep it private until we feel comfortable telling family, After my last loss Im on guard and not ready to sahre or Jinx anything.

SHAWNACPA · February 2013

We are waiting until we see a heartbeat to tell our parents and not telling everyone else until after first trimester. But it is hard to not tell our close friends.

LBG2013 · February 2013

DH and I are pregnant with our first and keeping it secret until at least our first ultrasound at 12 weeks. That being said, I did tell my BFF and my sister. With this being my first I felt like I needed to have someone to talk to and ask questions of. My BFF is pregnant with her second and my sister is pregnant for the 3rd time (2 previous losses) and we see the same OB so I felt like they were good resources. They've been sworn to secrecy though and I trust both of them. I thought it would be a lot easier to keep the secret from the rest of the world but every day that passes I feel it gets more difficult. My parents are staying with us for the weekend and I feel it's going to be torture to not tell them!

CDMay2006 · February 2013

We're waiting to tell dh's parents b/c they have big mouths and all his cousins, aunts and uncles would know by the end of the day. We're waiting to tell my parents b/c they didn't know we were trying (only a few close friends did) and i want to be reasonably confident that we'd only share good news with them.

lbethke99 · February 2013

Last time we told at about 7w, that god everything went well with that one. Last Sept I got pg again I only told my BFF and had a missed m/c. This time around we wont tell (except BFF, I need someone IRL to talk too) anyone till around 11-12 weeks if everything goes well.

germanpickle · February 2013

We will wait until my mom lands for her visit to our country in about two weeks. By then I will have been back to the doctor and seen a heart beat. Then she can either support the joy of help me through a second loss. Win win, I guess.

At that point we'll share with my inlaws as well I guess.

mrsblueeyes · February 2013

We waited till about 12 weeks to tell our family, we really wanted to tell them in person and this is when it worked out. My sister ending up telling everyone at 8 weeks because she was so sick, she would have preferred to wait.

nortonmol · February 2013

LSomers26:
My husband and I are pregnant for the first time and have decided not to tell anyone else at all until after our 12 week appointment because the first trimester is generally the riskiest. We are also excited to have this special time just the two of us to enjoy the idea of being parents come October! Its a fun secret that we get to share with just each other and I love that.

Same for us!

Arad5 · February 2013

Same boat. I tell my mom everything , but I'm worried about telling too early, plus she can't keep a secret. We haven't told a soul. Btw... We're due date buddies.

[Deleted User] · February 2013

Welcome and congrats!

I wanted to wait until our U/S at the end of the month to ensure that everything is progressing nicely. My husband didn't want to wait and refused to keep the secret for so long, so we told both our families last week. It all depends on what you feel comfortable with. We both felt guilty keeping our parents out of the loop, but I wouldn't have minded waiting to tell the rest of the family.

lefnc82 · February 2013

We are going to wait to tell the parents, goal is to hold out until late March. We want to try to get them together so we can tell them at the same time, it's only a two hour drive between the two so shouldn't be too hard to do. I've only told two of the people that I work with and that is purely because I am a pharmacy technician at a cancer center and am not going to continue mixing chemo now that I am pregnant, otherwise not a soul would know yet!!

shpowers174 · February 2013

We're waiting to tell everyone as well. We had a loss in December so we're a little gunshy and going to wait until we have see the heartbeat to tell people. After the first appointment, we'll tell family and close friends. I'm not sure when we'll tell everyone.

SuperSecretStatus · February 2013

The only person who knows, other than the husband of course, is my best friend. She's going to be my cover/babysitter for my appointments until my mom no longer lives with us (which will hopefully be soon). Plus, she has my doppler which I want to try and use to cheer myself up by listening to the heartbeat asap.

jen-dale · February 2013

We won't tell most for a while but maybe will tell parents in a few weeks. Our history isn't great and I don't want to have to untell.

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