Not Planning To Use An Infant Car Seat: Question

NetPetal · February 2013

We are not planning to use portable, infant car seats for the twins. When we're out, we are planning to wear the babies in carriers. This will work fine when we are together but I'm not sure what to do if I'm by myself with the twins and in a situation where a stroller is not appropriate (like grocery shopping). Stores used to have the shopping carts with an attached infant seat but I'm not seeing those around as much.

How do I secure the twin I am not wearing in a shopping cart if I don't have a portable car seat?

If you hadn't guessed, FTM here. Thanks for the help!

Jen0204 · February 2013

I seriously debated skipping the infant seats but I'm really glad we didn't. The girls were preemies and spent a bit of time in the NICU and they had to have car seat tests before they could leave. I don't think they would have been allowed in the convertible seats because they were so tiny. The infant car seats also seem to have much more support and I didn't feel comfortable putting them in the convertibles until they had really good head and neck control and were sitting up. Not at all saying that you should do what we did, but you might want to mention it to your OB or pediatrician and get their advice.

As to your actual question, how about a stroller? Some women push the stroller and pull a cart.

turtle_1278 · February 2013

We also had to have the infant car seats for the car seat test to leave the NICU. I have (not my first choice) pulled a stroller and pushed a cart. We had a double snap n go with the infant carseats that made life easier. They were in infant seats a long time since they were/are little. I second getting advice on it, you definitely want to do what will be best for all scenarios!

meldoo2002 · February 2013

Why would you not use an infant seat? They are safer for infants and almost always required to pass the NICU carseat test if the babies are premature at all. And you've hit the nail on the head about what to do with 2 babies many places. How would you even get both of them in and out of the doctor's office if you're by yourself until they have good head control? I'm sorry... I can maybe see skipping an infant seat with a single baby, but never with multiples. They are a life saver as is a double stroller that accomodates the seats.

erinruns · February 2013

I would also say you should rethink skipping. I know one mom who tried to skip an infant car seat, and after less than a week they went out and bought one. And that was with a full term newborn!

They are invaluable. Babies can stay sleeping when you're out and about, and you can get around. Plus as others said, they are much safer.

JenScott-4-09 · February 2013

meldoo2002:
Why would you not use an infant seat? They are safer for infants and almost always required to pass the NICU carseat test if the babies are premature at all. And you've hit the nail on the head about what to do with 2 babies many places. How would you even get both of them in and out of the doctor's office if you're by yourself until they have good head control? I'm sorry... I can maybe see skipping an infant seat with a single baby, but never with multiples. They are a life saver as is a double stroller that accomodates the seats.

This. Plus the infant seat comes in handy for us around the house. When I am home with the babies and my toddler I often put the babies in the seats to get them up and downstairs for bath time and other times when I want both with me but don't want to carry one up and then the other.

macchiatto · February 2013

meldoo2002:
Why would you not use an infant seat? They are safer for infants and almost always required to pass the NICU carseat test if the babies are premature at all. And you've hit the nail on the head about what to do with 2 babies many places. How would you even get both of them in and out of the doctor's office if you're by yourself until they have good head control? I'm sorry... I can maybe see skipping an infant seat with a single baby, but never with multiples. They are a life saver as is a double stroller that accomodates the seats.

I agree with this, word for word.

caden · February 2013

The only scenario I can think of where a MoM wouldn't need infant car seats would be if the parents didn't drive. That said, if you HAD to live without them you'd just take your stroller everywhere, even where it wasn't convenient like a grocery store (it actually isn't that bad in a grocery store).

trish3905 · February 2013

Now, I am really curious as to the reason why you want to skip the infant carseats? I would not have been able to function that first year without our carseats.

Theoretically, the Moby wrap instructions include how to carry twins in the wrap at the same time. I tried it once and felt super awkward. But maybe that was just me.

NetPetal · February 2013

We have considered that if the babies are very small we might have to resort to infant car seats.

As to why we prefer not to use them: we're pro "babywearing" (part of attachment parenting); we prefer to wear the babies in a carrier rather than carting them around in an infant seat. We've seen all too many parents leave their baby for hours on end in an infant seat and we are not a fan of that.

When alone we will have to use a stroller in combination with the carrier or just use a stroller. I have never seen anyone use a stroller with a shopping cart but good to know that it is an option.

jessibel00 · February 2013

Being pro baby wearing is great, but trying to cart two infants around without the carriers is a logistical nightmare... Sorry. Get the seats, just because you have them and use them doesn't mean you have to be one of those parents who leave their kids in them for hours.

Temp123197812503460 · February 2013

I am a crunchy AP whatever you want to call it who had dreams of never using a stroller and baby wearing/bedsharing, you name it. Frankly, twins changed a lot of that. I still got to do some of it (EBF on demand, some cosleeping, etc) but the only way I ever got out of the house in the first 3 months was because my kids would sleep in the infant seats.It's just a fact of multiples that some things will be different.Like a Pp said, if you dont drive (or rarely do) then by all means skip it, but if you are thinking you are going to take them in the car to the grocery store, then get yourself some infant seats and a DSNG!

Temp123197812503460 · February 2013

And we never left them in it for hours on end. For one thing, once they were awake they wanted to be held. But first once they were awake they wanted to nurse, which I almost never did out in the early months (I've tandem nursed in public with older babies, but early on, no way). There were zero outings that were for hours on end when they were that little!

yinyang124 · February 2013

NetPetal:
We have considered that if the babies are very small we might have to resort to infant car seats.
As to why we prefer not to use them: we're pro "babywearing" (part of attachment parenting); we prefer to wear the babies in a carrier rather than carting them around in an infant seat. We've seen all too many parents leave their baby for hours on end in an infant seat and we are not a fan of that.
When alone we will have to use a stroller in combination with the carrier or just use a stroller. I have never seen anyone use a stroller with a shopping cart but good to know that it is an option.

Even AP parents recommend getting infant car seats, solely because why in the world would you want to disturb sleeping babies. You can use the infant seats without leaving them in there for hours. I think you will regret not getting jnfant seats.

katiebenes · February 2013

NetPetal:
We have considered that if the babies are very small we might have to resort to infant car seats.
As to why we prefer not to use them: we're pro "babywearing" (part of attachment parenting); we prefer to wear the babies in a carrier rather than carting them around in an infant seat. We've seen all too many parents leave their baby for hours on end in an infant seat and we are not a fan of that.
When alone we will have to use a stroller in combination with the carrier or just use a stroller. I have never seen anyone use a stroller with a shopping cart but good to know that it is an option.

I would think that if you are not a fan of leaving the child in a seat... You won't do that no matter what. most carts have a place for one child. you could wear the other, and half way through switch so that they both are close to you.

Reilly626 · February 2013

If you live in NYC I get it as long as you don't use a cab but how are you leaving the hospital? We only went to ped appts the first 3 months and my kids don't like their carseats they are tall but they are a necessity bc I drive in the burbs.

keg · February 2013

Ditto everyone else...I would seriously rethink not using infant seats. Babies sleep a lot and do you really want to wake them up (potentially three times--at location, back at car, at home) every time you run an errand? Not to mention the amount of work it takes to take babies out of carseats and put them in something else (carrier, stroller, etc) and then back again when you're finished? I still find getting two kiddos in and out of carseats at each destination exhausting and mine are 4! Just because you use infant seats doesn't mean you have to use them all the time, it just means that you have the option. They were one reason I stayed sane that first year!

E&RMommy · February 2013

NetPetal:

We have considered that if the babies are very small we might have to resort to infant car seats.

As to why we prefer not to use them: we're pro "babywearing" (part of attachment parenting); we prefer to wear the babies in a carrier rather than carting them around in an infant seat. We've seen all too many parents leave their baby for hours on end in an infant seat and we are not a fan of that.

When alone we will have to use a stroller in combination with the carrier or just use a stroller. I have never seen anyone use a stroller with a shopping cart but good to know that it is an option.

Um nobody I know does this. Nobody.

It's all fine and dandy to think you'll only carry until you realize that your kid hates being in a carrier. I bought every single carrier you can think of and both kids hated them. They screamed bloody murder every single time. They liked to be held but hated any carrying device.

At 11 weeks it's great to be idealistic but with multiples you have to be realistic. You need infant carriers. I promise you will NEED them. It's not about resorting to infant carriers. It's about safety and doing what makes sense. Taking care of 2 infants is one of the toughest phases I've ever experienced and I'd have lost my mind taking 2 babies to the pediatrician without the DSNG/infant carriers. We used ours until 6 months.

MuseumMaven · February 2013

I cannot imagine those first few months without infant seats. And no, mine didn't sit in them for hours on end. I just can't imagine taking newborns in and out of seats every time we got in and out of the car.

Infant seats are safer for newborns. That really made the decision for me.

As for grocery shopping, I pulled a cart while pushing a double stroller. Convenient? No. But you do what you have to do. Just never balance an infant seat on top of a cart. It's very dangerous.

Cinnamon Haze · February 2013

I had to laugh at this comment about what you and hubby 'are' as parents. Youre FIRST TIME PARENTS.... and you will make a lot of mistakes that will alter pre conceptions. You sound judgmental and that will get you Nowhere.

You have no idea what type of parents you and hubby will end up being, youre already worried that if you have an infant seat you will be drawn into leaving your child in it for hours on end. If youre so convinced of how you are going to parent already, why would that even be a concern?

Why can you not have the infant seats for when you need them and for when it is safest for your children to be in them and then use alternative methods of transporting them when it is ok/safe to do so?

Im sorry, but what you posted about is dangerous for the lo's and most MoM's dont want to do anything to risk their lo's safety and dont like hearing some people take it so lightly.

It isnt like youre saying, hey we're going to the park, should I use our stroller or just baby wear??

raraavis28 · February 2013

Lol you already have a zillion witnesses here but I'll jump in too what the heck.....infant seats are awesome! I can't imagine taking LOs around any other way! If I were you I'd definitely rethink that plan, which might work in theory but all these ladies can attest that in practice....eh not so much. GL!

pixiem38 · February 2013

There are so many replies.here that make.me.want to.hit the "like" button! When.my.(nkw 6yo)dd was a newborn.we went for the convertible.seat initially a.d within 2 weeks.went out and got.an.infant one. When.we found.out about the twins, dh.wanted.to.get a convertible.for.one.of.them (and.use the infant.one.for.one)and i.put.my foot down. I.am.so.glad.i.did. We have not.gone.anywhere other than the ped yet, but i can't imagine trying.to.do.it.without the seats (we are in Maine so.it.is freezing.out. i woukd rather carry.a seat inside than screw around with atanding in 5 degree weather getting a baby situated in a carrier. Also, i.was holding.out on.a stroller (because i never used one with ny.other kids, preferring.to wear.them), and twins are an.entirelly.different beast. My dh has had to.go.with me.to.lug one.of.the seats when.we have our appointments (and the babies.are.still.not even 6lbs each yet)....i.ordered a dsng last night b/c i don't want to.count on.ds always able.to.come with me. Twins are a different experience than a singleton. Hands down. Get the infant seats. You want.to make.your life easier in the early days, not.mkre.complicated.

KDR1979 · February 2013

We are still using our portable infant car seats! I have the double snap and go stroller and I LOVE it! The babies are really getting too big for it, but DD is smaller and can go in the back. It's the easiest way for me to go anywhere by myself. I don't have to take them in and out of a car .seat.;...the csar seat just snaps right into the stoller. I can put items under the stroller and I carry a reusabke shopping bag to put items in. When I need a cart, I put them in my Baby Jogger City mini stroller and I can push that with one hand and then pull a cart. That means taking the babies in and out of their car seats though and I know it's much colder for them that way (winter here can mean low temps). AND it is soooo much work when I by myself!

We got the Graco snugride 35. They will be too long for them in a few months, we'll never come close to the weight max, but the max length is 32". But, DD was 4lbs 10oz when we came home from the hospital, so we were glad to have a car seat that would work for a 4lb baby!

Dragonfly1226 · February 2013

Even with DS who was a singleton and born full term at 7.5 lbs, I could not imagine not having an infant seat. We live in the city, and I did wear his all of the time. But when we did drive I can't imagine having him in a convertible seat right away. They just don't recline that far and I can imagine that LOs heads will slump forward. Even if you hardly ever take them out of the car, for the safety of your LOs, I highly recommend getting infant car seats.

tombomb84 · February 2013

I agree with everyone else. Not only are infant car seats safer, but it makes no sense to wake the babies up to put them in and out of the car. When you have twins, time is very valuable and it saves a ton of time keeping them in the car seats when you are getting in and out of the car.

pillowass · February 2013

I agree with everyone else that infant seats are awesome and necessary.

A couple of things to add - my twins were born 10 hours shy of 37 weeks and we still had to go through all of the "preemie" protocols at the hospital even though they were 6.5 pounds each. This included the infant car seat check.

Second, I was super fit when I got pregnant (running, yoga enthusiast) and I am 3 months out and still dealing with abdominal separation and lots of back issues from my pregnancy. I can't wear them as much as I want to because my back hurts all the time! I am starting PT and determined to get my strength back but my babies are also getting bigger so it is kind of a race.

So cut yourself some slack and realize that you will have to take some shortcuts with twins.

aprilsarahjune · February 2013

Okay, I am an odd one out here I guess. My girls are nearly 2 and we never used infant carseats. We had two convertible car seats that stayed in the car and 2 more that circulated between other cars (other parent, grandparents, nanny, etc.). We were even in the NICU for 28 and 30 days and passed the car seat test in the convertible car seats with no problem. The girls were at the bottom of the weight limit for the carseats (right at 5 lbs, I believe), and they fit in snuggly and safely. When we left the hospital, the nurses carried the babies out in their arms and the nurses loved it (both said they hadn't done that in years).

When we went to the grocery store, we wore the babies or did a combo of wearing and stroller if there was just one of us. Actually, more often DH would stay at home with one baby for alone bonding while I wore the other baby at the store (and got my own alone bonding). Every other week I would take the other baby. And we are and were working parents, so this was a luxury that we made time for.

I am a month away from delivering baby number 3 and we will use a convertible seat again. For us, this was more convenient with twins and will be more convenient with our singleton. Just my 2 cents. (And it wasn't that we were overzealous AP -- we didn't bedshare but I did breastfeed (mainly EP out of necessity), etc.)

ShopperKristi · February 2013

I'll be on your side and say don't get them because I want to be able to gawk at you in public when you're trying to wrangle two squishy babies haha. Kidding, kidding. You know, do what works for you. If you aren't planning on going out much with them then I'm sure you could get away with it. I take my babes out almost daily and with it being SUPER cold and snowy here in MN in the winters there is no way I could get them out of the car and into a carrier/cart, etc. without a major struggle and them freezing their patooties off. If you live in a warmer climate or don't drive much I can see it working for you. As far as what to do with them when shopping that's anyone's guess and if any of us had a good solution we'd be rich! Little babies can't sit in the cart for a looong time. Mine are 5 1/2 months and are nowhere near being able to sit in that cart seat so just take that into consideration. I have heard of people wearing two Ergos, one front, one back, but OMG mine are almost 40lbs together and that is a LOT of extra weight to lug around!

I would just think about taking your expectations down a notch - not because the things you want are wrong in any way, just that with multiples the classic attachment parenting style is so much harder to pull off. If you do, good on ya lady! But in my opinion it will just put so much extra stress on you which also isn't good for your babies. Long story short, just be open to all your options because once they are here you never know what will end up working best!

meldoo2002 · February 2013

NetPetal:
We have considered that if the babies are very small we might have to resort to infant car seats.
As to why we prefer not to use them: we're pro "babywearing" (part of attachment parenting); we prefer to wear the babies in a carrier rather than carting them around in an infant seat. We've seen all too many parents leave their baby for hours on end in an infant seat and we are not a fan of that.
When alone we will have to use a stroller in combination with the carrier or just use a stroller. I have never seen anyone use a stroller with a shopping cart but good to know that it is an option.

I am totally pro "babywearing" too and wore my boys alot... often both at the same time. It's more a how to get to and from places and what to do with them when you need to be hands on - holding one for shots... what to do with the other, etc. I just can't imagine not having infant seats. And what will you do if the end up in the NICU? Buy seats at that point? I never left my babies in their infant seats in the house or for hours on end (except for an 8 hour trip in the car). Usually pro attachment parents are really up on safety too and small infants are safer in bucket seats.

macchiatto · February 2013

Another ditto for meldoo.

You can be totally AP and babywear as much as you want but you have to do a lot of things differently with twins b/c of all the logistical challenges, and again, infant seats are safer for newborns.

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