Nanny wants to use Babywise....

jamienichole · December 2008

So I'm going back to work in Janurary and the nanny we've hired just emailed me her plan of care for DS. Here is what she said:

"I was just reading over p.130-133 in Baby Wise for the schedule for a three month old. Let me know if you would like to do something similar."

and

"It takes a week or so to adjust to a schedule, but once Noah is adjusted, his days will go alot smoother. And every one will comment as he gets older...."what a good baby!" And that reason being is because he is well rested."

I'm not sure what she means exactly, (I never read the book) but why is she not just asking me what kind of schedule I want for DS? I have read a lot of opinions on here about Babywise, so does anyone have an idea about what she is talking about? I obviously will be talking to her later about this, just wanted to see if anyone on here can give me an idea.

akiernan · December 2008

I think you need to do your own research on the Babywise method and decide if its right for you.

YOU are hiring this nanny. YOU are the mother. Your word is law in the matter of your child. If you are not comfortable with the care this nanny will give your child, find another one.

carrann82 · December 2008

akiernan:

I think you need to do your own research on the Babywise method and decide if its right for you.

YOU are hiring this nanny. YOU are the mother. Your word is law in the matter of your child. If you are not comfortable with the care this nanny will give your child, find another one.

Ditto. YOU are in charge, not her.

Brookie-Cookie · December 2008

Have you told her what kind of schedule you want him on?

Go read it so you and your nanny can be on the same page and you can let her know what you think is acceptable and what is not. You have to educate yourself beyond some outspoken nestie opinions.

FWIW, I haven't read babywise but I have been told there is more to it than CIO.

PMJacobsen · December 2008

akiernan:
I think you need to do your own research on the Babywise method and decide if its right for you.

YOU are hiring this nanny. YOU are the mother. Your word is law in the matter of your child. If you are not comfortable with the care this nanny will give your child, find another one.

agreed. and i'd like to add that if you don't trust her to care for your child the way that you SAY to, then fire her. end of story!

TakYelgif · December 2008

akiernan:

Your word is law in the matter of your child.

Uhhhh ditto.....it doesn't matter what your nanny thinks if you read up on babywise and decide it isn't for you, DH and your child then your nanny needs to respect that whether she agrees with you or not.

YOU are the employer SHE is the employee!

auslyn804 · December 2008

I have read the book and there is info in it about being in a eat, play, sleep routine that is a good pattern. The whole book isn't as awful as portrayed on here, just some of it. Definitely make sure she knows and will follow your views on CIO since the book does use it.

Marie Tourville · December 2008

Get a new nanny. Seriously. You need to be on the same parenting course or it will get tense fast.

jamienichole · December 2008

Thanks, Obviously I plan on reading up on what she's talking about, I just don't have the book right now and wanted to see if anyone else on here knew what that schedule meant. I am not planning on letting her take care of my baby any way she wants...just wanted an idea while I'm sitting here waiting on DS to wake up.

Mrs.Provost · December 2008

Find a new nanny.

ibfloridagirl · December 2008

IMO there is nothing wrong with Babywise, a lot of it is pure common sense, however like i said my opinion. I would read the book before just firing her as some pp's have said. Maybe you ARE on the same page and don't know it. Let her know what you are looking for as far as the caretaking of DC, that should be all you have to do, your child your decision. GL

pinkmacy · December 2008

Thats weird that she is kind of taking over and taking control of the situation like that. Maybe she just wants to be proactive and show you that by coming up with a plan of action. I would read the book (you prob. don't have time for that so maybe google it or skim through it) and then make a decision. I would just get a new nanny because she is with your child all day and will probably do whatever she want anyways regardless of what you want. THat is just the worst case scenario, but if she has her mind made up then she will probably just continue to do what she wants. Interview some new nannys.

roxannaway@aol.com · December 2008

I agree with PP I would read the book yourself and see if it is something that you would like to do. We use it but we have never had DD CIO... but she is only 9 weeks old... but she was STTN at about 4 or 5 weeks... She is also a big baby so that might have something to do with it. But Babywise did work well for us.

Bottomline you have to do what is best for you and it is nice that your Nanny is being proactive in wanting to help but if you don't like babywise you should tell her.

jgeiman · December 2008

I like BabyWise, but... I think you should be the one deciding what is best for your family, not her.

Amy Schramm · December 2008

I think you have to be careful on this one (and I like many parts of Babywise). ?If she's just overeager and wants to show you that she's on top of things, great, as long as you like the idea of putting your baby on a routine (which is a big part of Babywise). ?If she's a really strict nanny, I'd probably get rid of her-- I'd be too nervous having someone super strict around my child. ?

Babywise has worked well for us and I think could work well with a nanny because everyone will be able to jump in and out of caring for you child seamlessly. ?For example, my nanny was here today for a few hours and I told her that he ate at 9, would probably be hungry again around 12:30 or so and would go down for a nap at 1. ?When she left, I was able to jump in, knowing where we were in the little guy's rotation. ?That's how they do it in daycare, I'm sure, and if you aren't staying at home, you might find it helpful to have a sense as to what your nanny does with your child in your absence so you can make sure they are getting enough rest, eating enough, etc. ?

The biggest issue I see is how your nanny will get your child on the routine. ?If she wants to let the child fuss or cry, I'd get rid of her. ?We were able to easily move my son to a routine without letting him cry and it's worked really well for us. ?I certainly don't think it's worth letting a child cry just so you can get them on a routine or schedule and I would make sure she understands that. ?There will be off days and I think you will want someone who can roll with things if needed. ?

If she's going to follow the book, though, you should definitely read it-- it's for some moms and not others, kind of depends on how you want to parent. ?

OUMedBride · December 2008

I haven't actually read BW, so I can't comment on the schedule. My concern from reading the email is that it sounds like she's saying "Here's what I'm going to do with your child, you better jump on board" instead of asking YOU what works for YOUR baby and what you want her to do. You're not hiring her to take over being the mommy... that's still your job, which means you're still in charge. It very much sounds from the email like she's trying to take over, which would be very not okay with me.

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