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Natural Birth
abyss478
member
Perineum stitches came out
abyss478
member
Hi there,
My wife gave birth one-week ago and had a 2nd degree tear. Right after she got home, the stitches had popped out and had to wait 2-3 days to get re-stitched. Doctor put in 3 additional stitches to pull the sides together. She is very stressed about how well it will heal, as it seems there is a gaping hole almost as an extension of her vagina.
She's convinced this will not heal well, and if it does, there will still be a gaping hole present since there was a 2-3 day period where the torn lips were separated.
She's very impatient and already looking to get some reconstruction done. I know this is unreasonable at the moment as the body will need time to heal, but as a guy I have a hard time convincing her to just "wait it out." Any advice from anyone who's been through this kind of situation? Should she try to get some reconstruction done now instead of waiting the 6-8 weeks? Would the body heal any better?
Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated! Thanks.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Perineum stitches came out
Anyways fast forward, in Sept. I went in for my yearly. While there they found that the stitching had created a cervical polyp. In my doctor's 25 year experience this was only the second time seeing this. I had surgery for it in November, and it was a breeze. I had surgery on a Friday, and was back to normal on Monday. Once again stitches took forever to fall out.
I think it was easier since I did wait on the surgery and let everything heal. If your wife does decide for the reconstructive tell her to ask her doctor for an estrogen cream. It helps add a little elasticity back to the skin, and helped me heal a little faster. Like I said, I do not have any medical knowledge, but though I would share my experience. Good luck!
I had a different type of issue but I was already thinking about reconstruction just a week after delivering DS1. It can be extremely upsetting to see the impact of birth on such a personal place and when things don't go smoothly it is emotionally terrifying.
She should do what her doctor suggests and in the mean time just make sure you're being very patient and supportive of her. Tell her she's beautiful and that no matter what you love her and are attracted to her.
For me, I needed/need a lot of assurance from my DH that even though things have changed, he's okay with it and that things will be fine until we're done having children and I can have things fixed up.
Hi guys, thanks for all the advice and support in response to my post. I thought I'd post a quick update on what happened just for those men or woman experiencing something similar to what my wife and I went through...
In a nutshell, the day my wife delivered, her main gynecologist was not on call to deliver our child so one of the other doctors that worked in the same group came to deliver instead. There was significant tearing during delivery (second degree) and he stitched her up for about 45 minutes. He told her to rest and keep ice on it, and promised things would look normal again soon.
About a week after the delivery, my wife continually persisted that things were NOT right down there, and as I guy I continued to comfort her and tell her to just give it time. I figured the doctor knew what he was talking about and that things just needed time to heal. However, my wife seemed to become more worried as the days went by but continued to follow docs orders with ice packs etc. We went back to the delivering doctor 3 or 4 times in for about an entire month. Since he delivered the baby, he wanted us to return to him instead of her main gynecologist. Each time we got the same answer--"Just give it time to heal, things are looking great." He even went as far as trying to stitch her up a little IN THE OFFICE which I could tell was INCREDIBLY painful, but my wife wanted things to look somewhat normal down there so she dealt with the pain.
About a week later those stitches had ripped out and we were back to square one. Again, we went in to see the doctor but this time he wasn't available so we saw one of the physicians assistants there. She said the same thing--"everything looks fine, just give it time to heal."
At this point my wife was incredibly distressed--she KNEW things just weren't right. So we decided to switch doctors and get a second opinion. After she found a new doctor and began the process of transferring records, etc., she received a phone call from her actual gynecologist who said that she had not received any kind of paperwork that there was significant tearing, that the delivering doctor had not even made any kind of notes about tearing or any other issues.
My wife went in to see her gynecologist, practically in tears that no one would listen to her. The doctor examined my wife and she said she honestly couldn't believe the hell my wife had been put through. The doctor hadn't even stitched her up correctly. Instead of stitching the muscle, he had just stitched the lips together and was completely ineffective and repairing the tear. Although he originally told us it was a second degree tear, it was actually a third degree tear. On top of that there was a "brewing infection" that needed attention right away. The gynecologist scheduled my wife for emergency surgery THAT DAY.
After the surgery was complete there was obviously some healing time needed. Here we are, eight months after our child was delivered and things are completely normal down there again. The lesson learned here was that doctors sometimes don't know what they're talking about--so GET A SECOND OPINION!! If my wife had listened to everyone, the infection would've continued to build and who knows how bad it could've been. And men, the only advice I can offer is to listen to your lady and question EVERYONE who weighs in. Don't even think twice about getting a second opinion if you or your wife aren't comfortable with any OPINIONS.
I know this is belated, but I thought I would chime in here. I had a third degree tear with my first, and the stitches came out shortly after I came home from the hospital. I also had to wait several days to get it fixed. The experience was traumatizing. My fix was to go under general anesthesia 10 days post-partum and have a revision done.
There were several things about my experience in the hospital that caused me to lose trust in my ob/gyn and I switched to someone else. He confirmed that some of the judgment calls during delivery most likely contributed to the tear being as severe as it was, but he reassured me that the revision was done well. The fact is that had I not had the experience with the stitches coming out and subsequent revision, I might have more scar tissue and problems. Now everything works fine and I do not have any pain.
So the revision surgery was a wonderful thing for me. One of the problems doctors face is that when they are stitching women up, the skin is so traumatized after delivery, that even a skilled doctor can have trouble. (My current ob said it's like trying to stitch jello together).
For women out there who have continued pain and problems, give some thought to physical therapy (yes, they have physical therapy for "down there"), too. It can help with incontinence and other pelvic floor issues.