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Looking for advice...

MarieC78MarieC78 member
in Blended Families

Hello, first time poster in blended families, hoping someone has advice for my family.

My brother and his ex have 50/50 custody and parenting time. They don't get along at all, and should only communicate to pick up or drop off.

The problem is his ex harasses him from sun up to sun down by phone and text. She makes accusations about child abuse, saying she will call CPS because the baby has a diaper rash and most recently his daughter cried a couple of times when he was there to pick her up. The problem was, she was watching cartoons and didn't want to leave. His ex has now started the child abuse accusations again and non stop texting (to him and to my mom). She filed a personal protective order against him, and the court dropped it based on lack of evidence and that there was NO need for one.

Very long story short...can anything be done? The child is only 2 years old. He can't simply block her calls, and has been ignoring the messages. But even ignoring them, they build up and really hurt him.

TIA for reading this and any help you could offer.

BabyFruit Ticker
Expecting our first, baby BOY, 12/12/13
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Re: Looking for advice...

  • FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member

    Does he have a lawyer?  He should see about sending a cease and desist letter.  If it continues go for a civil no contact order.

    Can he change his phone number and only communicate via e-mail?

    Remind him to document everything.  On paper.

    Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
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  • MarieC78MarieC78 member
    imageFutureMrsWittig:

    Does he have a lawyer?  He should see about sending a cease and desist letter.  If it continues go for a civil no contact order.

    Can he change his phone number and only communicate via e-mail?

    Remind him to document everything.  On paper.

    He has a lawyer, luckily!

    They have been documenting everything. He takes pictures of the long strings of texts and uses a voice recorder of messages. I honestly don't know how he takes it day after day. The lawyer had her do a deposition, and it was actually funny how contradicting the answers were. 

    She also says my brother should give up rights so her boyfriend can adopt the baby. Really delusional stuff, and scary!

    Thank you for the reply. I will look into what you suggested.

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Expecting our first, baby BOY, 12/12/13
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  • MarieC78MarieC78 member
    imageFutureMrsWittig:

    Does he have a lawyer?  He should see about sending a cease and desist letter.  If it continues go for a civil no contact order.

    Can he change his phone number and only communicate via e-mail?

    Remind him to document everything.  On paper.

    Just found a very nice cease and desist template letter online, forwarded that. Thanks for the suggestion!

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Expecting our first, baby BOY, 12/12/13
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  • MarieC78MarieC78 member
    imageMelRC117:

    Since its having to do with the child (in a way) I'm not sure if this is possible and his lawyer might know more but this sounds like harassment.  We had to call police on BM one time because she wouldn't stop calling even though we responded and was pounding on our door multiple times.  The officer told her to knock it off basically.  It was NY's day a year or two ago and it told him it was her day blah blah blah when no, it was H's day since their CO says only every other year but doesn't specify what years are who's for holidays.

    IF the protective order did go through, she does realize it would've worked both ways right?  That if it was in place, she couldn't contact him.  She could've been in violation of her own PO that SHE requested.

    She really is something special :)

    The PO she requested was in response to him telling her to stop banging on the doors and peaking into his windows. He did yell at her to stop, but who wouldn't have! In the deposition they asked if he had struck her or was violent. She replied "no, but he yelled at me". lol

    You're right, it very much is harassment. I'm very glad her and I stopped speaking to each other, I couldn't keep my composure the way he has haha

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Expecting our first, baby BOY, 12/12/13
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  • +just+j++just+j+ member

    If he has a lawyer then he should be consulting his lawyer.In time, enough evidence will clearly be built up and she'll lose custody.  Your brother just needs to trust that, because if it's as crazy and bad as you say - that's what will happen.  

    I would not be sending a cease & desist letter when his lawyer is working on this. This is something I would involve a lawyer and have him handle so it's done correctly.

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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  • happywife2bhappywife2b member
    Sounds counter-intuitive, but it works in his favor that she is acting so nuts. He needs to have the voicemails transcribed and authenticated by a notary public, and print out all texts he recieves and sends, to keep a full record of the communication. Take those to his lawyer and have the lawyer pursue whatever course of action is appropriate.
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    imageFutureMrsWittig:
    Does he have a lawyer?nbsp; He should see aboutnbsp;sending a cease and desist letter.nbsp; If it continues go for a civil no contact order.
    Can he change his phone number and only communicate via email?
    Remind him to document everything.nbsp; On paper.


    I would never change the number, if something happens to his child he needs the BM to know his number. I would definitely involve the lawyer.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • +just+j++just+j+ member
    He should also request a court ordered mediator.
    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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  • FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member

    imageLittlejen22:
    imageFutureMrsWittig:
    Does he have a lawyer?nbsp; He should see aboutnbsp;sending a cease and desist letter.nbsp; If it continues go for a civil no contact order. Can he change his phone number and only communicate via email? Remind him to document everything.nbsp; On paper.
    I would never change the number, if something happens to his child he needs the BM to know his number. I would definitely involve the lawyer.

    This is a good point.

    Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
    Report Reply
  • MarieC78MarieC78 member
    imageFutureMrsWittig:

    imageLittlejen22:
    imageFutureMrsWittig:
    Does he have a lawyer?nbsp; He should see aboutnbsp;sending a cease and desist letter.nbsp; If it continues go for a civil no contact order. Can he change his phone number and only communicate via email? Remind him to document everything.nbsp; On paper.
    I would never change the number, if something happens to his child he needs the BM to know his number. I would definitely involve the lawyer.

    This is a good point.

    That is why he can't block her number or anything. He has 50% custody so they drive back and forth a lot. Thank you all for the support. I'll just tell him to keep on doing what he has been.

    Today's accusations, btw, were that he doesn't feed his daughter and she is dehydrated. sigh. 

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Expecting our first, baby BOY, 12/12/13
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  • J&A2008J&A2008 member
    There are services they could use for communication like Our Family Wizard.  He should ask his lawyer if they can get it ordered that all communication should go through this route. 
    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
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