Question about night wakings at one year

stoneycakes · February 2013

I have an eight month old who wakes up 3-5 times a night, usually to nurse. He's not really into solids, either. I guess I have this picture in my head of what a one year old should be like (eating a lot more foods, no more MOTN feedings) and I have no idea how DS can possibly transition into this in less than four months. I would really like to be night weaned by a year, but right now I can't imagine being able to do it without CIO. Do I have unrealistic expectations? I would just like to be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm so tired of waking up all night long.

tokenhoser · February 2013

DS didn't night wean until 18 months when I just had enough and stopped feeding him. I broke down and nursed at night when he was teething a couple weeks ago, and he promptly went back to waking 2-4 x a night. Some kids aren't going to get there on their own... I just stuck with it until I couldn't anymore.

blu-eyedwife · February 2013

My guy night weaned at 14 months - he was still waking up once a night at a year.

But even now, I still nurse him if he wakes at night, since he only seems to do that when he's sick or teething.

BelhurstBride · February 2013

DD didn't start cutting back on nighttime nursing sessions until well after a year. Around a year she easily nursed 2-3 times a night. Sometime between 12 months and 24 months she cut down to 1-2 times a night and fully night weaned about 6 months ago.

11ish-13 or 14 months was the WORST sleep regression we ever experienced with DD. Nursing helped to calm her some nights. Others were a lost cause.

Also, even though DD's now fully weaned she still doesn't STTN.

TiffanyBerry · February 2013

DD is 2.75 years old. She still nurses once in the middle of the night and would do more if I let her. Babies are all different, and I bet, left to their own devices, with no nudging from mom, if allowed to, most one year olds would still be nursing at night.

You don't have to be night weaned at one year to see an improvement. We did partial night weaning (Dr Jay Gordon method, and then some variation on that) around 18mo. It wasn't necessarily super easy, but it worked, and was helpful for us as a family.

Rosebud2587 · February 2013

I have no advice. DD is still getting up an average of 6 times a night to nurse.

twocents6708 · February 2013

DD went downto 2 to 3 times around 9 months when we increased solids and once a night a few months later. She just started STTN in the past two weeks.

erbear · February 2013

3-5 night wakings for feeding at 8 months is a lot. Can you work on weaning him down to 1-2? I think my kids were eating once a night at 8 months until they dropped that feeding on their own around 10 months.

Qmommy · February 2013

If you want to wean at night start by timing your sessions. If it normally takes 10 minutes to BF pick one session and cut the 10 minutes down to 8 minutes. Once 8 minutes is okay cut it down to 6 minutes and so forth until he realizes there is no point in waking to nurse at that time. Then move on to the next session you want to wean.

tokenhoser · February 2013

People with advice are so cute! I read the same books you did, people. All babies just don't take the same to being refused or cut short on nursing. It's not that simple, or we'd all be sleeping.

stoneycakes · February 2013

Ok. Looks like I need to reevaluate my expectations, then. Thanks for the input, ladies. I have tried having DH deal with wakeups, but it pretty much only works for the first one of the night, if we're lucky. The rest of the time he just screams and screams until I come into the room. And he screams if I try to stop a nursing session early, too. I know there are gentler ways of sleep training/night weaning, but I feel like my DS pretty much makes it a choice between catering to his needs or letting him CIO.

nosoup4u · February 2013

stoneycakes:
Ok. Looks like I need to reevaluate my expectations, then. Thanks for the input, ladies. I have tried having DH deal with wakeups, but it pretty much only works for the first one of the night, if we're lucky. The rest of the time he just screams and screams until I come into the room. And he screams if I try to stop a nursing session early, too. I know there are gentler ways of sleep training/night weaning, but I feel like my DS pretty much makes it a choice between catering to his needs or letting him CIO.

Can your DH do bedtime by himself and the first waking? For awhile with DS1, I would nurse him at the beginning of his bedtime routine (or in the middle) and then DH would put him to sleep. If he is eating a decent amount of solids, I'll make sure he gets a snack of like yogurt or something right before bedtime to help fill him up more.

At 12 months, both my kids were still nursing like babies. I never really kept track of how often they were nursing, just that it was a lot, and that sleep at 12 months generally sucks. I never had success popping DS2 off earlier than he wanted to pop off, either. I didn't night wean until mine were closer to 2, but the earliest I tried with them was 18 months. Before then, they just weren't having it.

Check out Jay Gordan (though his advice is geared specifically towards co-sleeping, which it sounds like you aren't doing) or Kim West ("Good Night, Sleep Tight"). West especially has a more gentle sleep training program than Ferber or extinction.

I think we're all given this false sense of "either CIO or your kid will NEVER SLEEP!", which isn't true. Sometimes we have to readjust *when* and *how* our kid will sleep with our support, but I can assure you, he will (eventually) STTN, just maybe not as early as you were hoping. Hang in there!

Soon2BMrsN · February 2013

tokenhoser:
People with advice are so cute! I read the same books you did, people. All babies just don't take the same to being refused or cut short on nursing. It's not that simple, or we'd all be sleeping.

ITA. DS2 has just recently cut back to waking once a night to eat...though all bets are off if he is sick or teething. At the same age, DS1 was still nursing but STTN. It's not a one size fits all thing - babies are unique. Also, a lot can change in 4 months time. Wait it out....

erbear · February 2013

tokenhoser:
People with advice are so cute! I read the same books you did, people. All babies just don't take the same to being refused or cut short on nursing. It's not that simple, or we'd all be sleeping.

Ummm, it's message board and she asked for advice. This isn't coming from books - it's coming from having two kids. This is an odd comment.

tokenhoser · February 2013

erbear:
tokenhoser:
People with advice are so cute! I read the same books you did, people. All babies just don't take the same to being refused or cut short on nursing. It's not that simple, or we'd all be sleeping.
Ummm, it's message board and she asked for advice. This isn't coming from books - it's coming from having two kids. This is an odd comment.

It's advice that's been recycled a thousand times and doesn't work. I felt like a failure when it didn't work for me, because obviously it's EASY to cut out night feedings an get any baby to STTN. So when people need some support with a bad sleeper, I offer it rather than cliche advice.

cpmich · February 2013

Don't forget there is a growth spurt around 9 months...

Also recommend Dr Gordon method over CIO.

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