Working Moms

How do you find joy in your job?

I feel like I've been in a job rut for a couple years now.  I teach elementary school music.  Everytime I tell people what I do everyone says, "Oh that sounds like so much fun!"  It should be fun but I am just so tired of it.  I used to love my job but a couple of years ago I just started getting tired of it.  Now that my daughter is here (she's 10 months old) I just really don't want to be at school most days.  I would love to SAH but DH and I really depend on my salary and benefits.

I just can't imagine being at my job until I retire.  I've been teaching for 8 years and I already feel like I don't want to teach anymore.  I work with very nice people.  My principal and adminstrators are great and the kids I work with are good as gold.  I always get compliments at work.  Everyone is always saying what a nice job I do with the kids.  My concerts are always really good.  I don't know why I'm not happy.  I know I could probably do something else with my life but I also like the time off I get as a teacher.  I love that I can be home all summer with DD and that I leave work at 3.  I don't want to give that up. 

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Re: How do you find joy in your job?

  • :( I was jsut thinking about that yesterday...and that I thought being a music teacher would have been more fulfilling...I guess it's that way in every field. Maybe try something new in the classroom...or volunteer your skills to something after school. Try to find your love for it again. Or try to find your new passion...dreams can change, and so can we. (I say, as I'm to chicken to ripple the calm pond myself.)

     I'm an engineer...and I'd be happy making spreadsheets and crunching numbers all day trying to design something...because I'm a huge nerd that way...unfortunately, that's not what I really do...so I volunteer at schools to get kids interested in math and science, I used to tutor kids in those subjects. At work, I try to find the pieces of the job I love and relish on that.

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  • I'm in your situation right now.  My job used to be fulfilling; I felt useful.  Once DS came, that same job is pointless.  On bad days I like to surf job postings, not just with my company, but exploring other options within my city (just looking never hurt anything - you never know what you'll find!).  This reminds me that I will not be "stuck" forever.  Another short-term remidy I have is there are 6 weeks til my due date (yay for 4 months off!). 

    Finally, when all is said and done, and I still have to keep coming to this place.... People change careers - not just jobs, but completely change careers - at least 3 times in their lives.  That means in a 30 year period you can have 3 different careers.  8 years sounds like you could be due to change careers.  If you like being around music, look into working at a radio station or working at a guitar store.  If you like teaching, just need a change of venue, look into teaching at a community college, or even private music lessons from your home.  There are options...you just have to climb over the fear of "new."  Good luck!

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  • imageMandG2010:

    I'm in your situation right now.  My job used to be fulfilling; I felt useful.  Once DS came, that same job is pointless.  On bad days I like to surf job postings, not just with my company, but exploring other options within my city (just looking never hurt anything - you never know what you'll find!).  This reminds me that I will not be "stuck" forever.  Another short-term remidy I have is there are 6 weeks til my due date (yay for 4 months off!). 

    Finally, when all is said and done, and I still have to keep coming to this place.... People change careers - not just jobs, but completely change careers - at least 3 times in their lives.  That means in a 30 year period you can have 3 different careers.  8 years sounds like you could be due to change careers.  If you like being around music, look into working at a radio station or working at a guitar store.  If you like teaching, just need a change of venue, look into teaching at a community college, or even private music lessons from your home.  There are options...you just have to climb over the fear of "new."  Good luck!

    The problem is, I don't really know any teachers who have changed careers.  I feel like in the teaching world it is super difficult to change.  And I'm also trying to find something else I can do that will still allow me the time I have with DD.  I love having summers off and having the breaks around holidays off. 

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  • Have you considered giving private music lessons?

    I know one thing that always reenergizes me is attending a work-related conference.  I bring back new ideas which brings some excitement back in to my job.  

  • I teach high school social studies and coach one of our girls soccer teams and I could have written this post almost word.for.word.  We don't "need" my salary to live, but we choose for me to work because it allows us to travel, spend without worrying or stressing about money, and will allow us to retire early too.  My pension is not fantastic, but it will be a nice chunk of change later on down the road.  It is nice to have those things and considering I do get a lot of time off, I feel like I kind of have the best of both worlds.

    I actually wrote a similar post a few weeks back about feeling like being in a rut. Coaching is really burning me out because it means late nights for games, early morning practices, and weekends.  I can't get out of coaching without resigning my teaching job too.  I don't know what else I would do though if I didn't teach.  I have a degree in Exercise Science so there are options for me, but none just seem to fit at this point in my life.  I got my masters degree in administration but I am seriously doubting if I'll ever use it.

    Another thing burning me out is the stupid politics and difficult parents.  We are told constantly to use technology, technology, technology and all it's doing is making the students rely on it way too much.  They have become lazy and " less smart" to try to be politically correct.  We are taking the human interaction out of education and it is not helping our young people one bit. And the parents....I'm not even going to go there.

    I've been teaching at the same school for 7 years and I, like you, love my coworkers, the kids, admin, etc.  I cannot for the life of me figure out exactly why I'm not happy here, but I'm not.  DH and I have discussed a leave of absence for next year to give myself a mental break, but I'm afraid I would have a hard time going back if I did that.  It's still up in the air...

  • Could you try a different teaching job, different age group, or different school? It all depends on what your other skills or certifications are, but that might be less of a leap than a complete career change. Although a music teacher is so specialized, that may not be practical. My mom teaches 3rd grade, but every few years she switches back and forth between kindergarten and 3rd grade. The different ages are enough to keep things interesting for her.
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  • When is the last time you had a vacation? Also, I have friends that are teachers and they always feel pretty "blah" this time of year. They say its normal since its after the holidays and summer vacation is "so far away". Do you think that might have to do with your funk?
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  • imagefinancialdiva:
    When is the last time you had a vacation? Also, I have friends that are teachers and they always feel pretty "blah" this time of year. They say its normal since its after the holidays and summer vacation is "so far away". Do you think that might have to do with your funk?

    We had 10 days off for Christmas break.  We have a week off next week for President's Day.  I feel "blah" everyday. The only time I don't feel blah is around concert time.

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  • I'll preface this by saying that I don't know much about music curriculum.

    Can you try to revamp your lessons in a different way?  Maybe do some sort of "theme" unit, by teaching different classes music from movies or musicals (I'm thinking Disney, like Little Mermaid or Mary Poppins, or musicals like Sound of Music).  Could you start some sort of "Music Show and Tell", where kids get to choose a song to perform in front of the class?  What about talking to the art teacher about incorporating music and art?  Have the kids close their eyes and paint what they feel when they listen to the music (ballads, rock, different tempos, etc).

    Maybe even doing one new thing a week will give you the inspiration you need.

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  • I have zero joy in my job.  It sucks, I hate it, I'm bored to death and start watching the clock at noon.

    But, I make a lot more money than DH and my company offers better benefits.  I'm stuck here until DH gets something better, then I'll try to find something more fulfilling.

     

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  • Bleh.  I've been bitter about my job lately.  Not because of my work atmosphere.  My boss is great (it's just me and him) and the hours are nice (9-5) but being a bankruptcy attorney and representing Debtors who make MORE MONEY than me, drive nicer cars than me, AND have nice dischargeable credit card debt is depressing.  Instead, I make less than some clients, drive a shitty car, and have UN-DISCHARGEABLE student loan debt. 

     Don't get me wrong some of my clients genuinely need help and some are thankful, but many just gamble or crap away their money. 

    Anyway.  I find joy in my job by knowing I get to leave at 5 p.m.  That's about it.  

  • I work with families in crisis. I get my joy from seeing the kids and their families work things out.

    However, I know it is something I can't do forever.

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  • I am an engineer and I love the design portion of my job, but I hate writing reports.  Unfortunatley I spend 50% of the time designing 50% writing reports.  When I get to the frustrated portion I just keep reminding myself that it won't last forever and that I'll get back to the "fun" stuff soon.

    I also think it's important to think about all the perks of working.  For me they are:

    WFH, flexible schedule, DS loves his daycare, I make enough money to occasionally splurge on an extra for myself, by both DH and I working we will be able to reach our long-term financial goals.

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  • I work as a civil rights investigator, mainly with employment discrimination issues.  I like my job because I'm not just another profit-chaser/widget-producer -- as in education or social work, I get a lot of joy out of knowing I'm helping others.  I've had jobs in community outreach, volunteer services, and naturalist type positions and all of them left me feeling fulfilled.  I've also held jobs in call centers and retail sales where it was all about chasing numbers -- which was always super unpleasant for me, and left me wanting more from my career.

    The work that I do helps protect vulnerable workers and in some cases we're even abe to help victims their jobs back, salaries adjusted, etc.  I also do a lot of work with employers such as workshops and trainings where I teach them what their legal obligations are and help them master the skills they'll use to audit their own policies and personnel actions.  I could see moving into private consulting or public speaking/presentation circuits fairly easily after amassing enough industry knowledge.

    If you know your heart's not in teaching, explore other fields.  Take a class that interests you or participate in career services events at local employment agencies and non profits in your area.  Join a professional networking group.  As a credientialed teacher, I imagine you could charge a pretty penny for tutoring services or private music lessons to replace some of the lost income if you decide to leave your job.

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  • Teach a baby music class once a week. I bet you'd like it, and you can have your daughter in it with you.
  • That said, I only found joy in life recently. I try to focus on all I have and how my job provides not just money but personal fulfillment if I view it that way. I remember all my music teachers growing up, isn't that really wonderful to be so important in a child's life and encourage the love of music?
  • I am a teacher as well (6th grade English) and do genuinely love it. However, like any relationship, I find that sometimes I go through rough patches with my job. When that happens, I focus on the aspects of my job that bring me the most happiness. For me, it's the kids specifically. I will spend some extra time connecting and bonding with a few particular students, even with just brief conversations in the hallway. That usually reminds me of why I got into teaching in the first place. 

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  • I work in heatlhcare for the military.  My job is exciting, fun and challenging.  It has lots of upward mobility and I get challenging assignments. 

    I can see being in a job rut if you're doing the same exact thing year after year.  Is there any way you'd be happy going into a different type of teaching? 

    I will say that if you can't afford it, don't think about SAH.  Think about changing your career.  Change is good and will keep you from being bored. 

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