Crying in my office and I know I am ridiculous.

Re: Crying in my office and I know I am ridiculous.

• efhoping2010 member

  February 2013

  You are not and I am so sorry.  You will seem all right and then certain things will trigger you.  Someone I know got preg naturally when I did with the FET, she delivered last night and I have empty arms and cannot stop thinking what if everything had turned out differently?  Hugs, allow yourself time to cry and grieve. 

  H: 34 dx Azoospermia due to CBAVD from CF  

  ME: 39 IS FINE!!!  DOR and poor AMH/FSH/LH

  IVF/ICSI/PESA #1 Beta 1 373 Beta 2 1783 BOY/GIRL TWINS!! Born April 2010!!

  Natural FET 5/26/12 2 blasts Beta 1 207 Beta 2 513 Beta 3 1377 U/S 6/28 Pregnancy not viable d & c scheduled  

  IVF/ICSI/PESA #2 ER 11/15/12 Nothing to transfer  

  IVF/ICSI #3 April 2013 MDLF 3dt of 3 embryos, chemical   

  IVF #4/ICSI/MESA/CCS/FET EPP April 2015

  ODWU CCRM with Dr. Sch COMPLETE!!!! Put on acai supplement they are studying for DOR and embryo quality.

  DAY 3 Labs Drawn 2/26 put on vitamin D and calcium supplements

  Regroup and Protocol Reveal 3/04 "Bazooka Protocol" EPP with MDLF "Protocol 6 with patches"

  ER/MESA 4/10 ER 9 eggs retrieved MESA success found live swimmers

  Fertilization Report 6 eggs mature and ICSI'd 4 eggs fertilized normally

  Day 6 Report to Blast for CCS 4/16: 2 DAY 5 BLASTS BIOPSIED FOR CCS a 4AB and a 3AB!!!!

  CCS Results BOTH BLASTS CCS NORMAL!!!!!!  call on 4/24

  Regroup call to discuss CCS results and FET call on 5/20

  FET prep: CD 1 6/08 CD 3 Start BCP 6/10, HSG 6/12 Lupron Start 10 iu 6/17 End BCP 6/21 CD 1 6/23!!!

  Start vivelle patches 6/25 change e/o/d reduce Lupron to 5iu 6/25 Blood Draw 7/01, 7/08, 7/15, 7/19

  Increase vivelle patches 7/03 2 change e/o/d and 7/05 change e/o/d 3 and 7/07 4 change e/o/d add vaginal estrace 2x a day

  Lining Check/Blood Draw 7/08 and 7/15 End Lupron 7/18  Start PIO 1ml daily 7/18  Blood  Draw 7/19

  Flight to clinic 7/22

  FET 2 CCS BLASTS   7/23  YES YES both thawed and both fully expanded

  7/26 3dp5dt PM very very faint positive FRER

  7/27: 4dp5dt Neg Digi AM but very very faint positive FRER PM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 1-2  

  7/31:8dp5dt AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 2-3!!!!  

  Beta 1 8/01= 408!!!!!!!!!! at 9dp5dt FET

  Beta 2 8/03 = 1014!!!!!!!!!! at 11dp5dt FET

  8/05/2015 AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 3+!!!!  

  First Ultrasound: 8/20!!!!!! TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Genetics says BOTH BOYS!!!!!!!!!

  Second Ultrasound: 9/03!!!!!!!!!!

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

   

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• ThisIsJenni

  February 2013

  I'm sorry you're having a bad day. I've been there myself.

  DD born 9/19/09
  TTC#2 since July 2011
  missed miscarriage 10/2011
  HSG clear 11/2012
  My Ovulation Chart

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• CeCe8579 member

  February 2013

  Hugs! I'm so sorry!

  Carly

  (Former UN: iloveshanej)
  
  

  Birdie born 05/01/2007
  Rainbow Surprise Baby due 05/26/2017                                          

  
  

  
  

  Potato Launcher

  
  

  
  

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• 74dragonfly member

  February 2013

  I'm so sorry. Sending you a virtual hug. I understand 100. A lady I knew from pumping room at work got pregnant and I went to bathroom and sobbed for 20 minutes.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• Kaselleck member

  February 2013

  I completely understand. Someone in my office did the same thing yesterday and I am irrationally angry. Why is it so damn hard for us when other couples put their underwear in the same hamper and get pregnant? It is unfair, but you're not alone.

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• egsquared member

  February 2013

  I'm so sorry! I totally understand. I've cried multiple times over other people's pregnancies. Of course , I'm happy for them, but I just want it to be our turn. [[hugs]]

  TTC #1 since 6/08. Cycle #6 - BFP 12/22/08, EDD 9/3/09, DD 8/14/09 at 37w1d

  BFP #1 Chart
  

  
  

  TTC #2 since 6/11

  me=36 - low AMH, DH=38

  BFP #2 - 8/31/11, EDD 5/10/12, M/C 9/23/11

  BFP #3 - 3/4/12, EDD 11/14/12, CP 3/11/12

  BFP #4 - 5/9/12, EDD 1/19/13, CP 5/11/12

  BFP #5 - 8/22/12, EDD 5/5/13, CP 8/24/12

  IVF#1 - January 2013 - EPP/Antagonist - 7R, 3M, 2F, 3dt of 2 8-cell embies

  BFP #6 - 2/3/13, EDD 10/15/13, DS 9/18/13 at 36w1d

  
  

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• KristyLynn26 member

  February 2013

  ((HUGS)) I'm so sorry. That is one big thing I definitely do not miss now that I'm a SAHM. 

  
  
  First Time: DD born 3/2011 after trying for two years, LAP, and two IUIs w/ Femera + Ovidrel
  This Time: 4/12 Femera IUI #1 BFN, 5/12 Femera + TI BFN, 6/12 Femera + IUI #2 BFN, 7/12 Femera + IUI #3 BFN, 8/12 Follistim IUI #4 BFN
  IVF #1: ER 11/5/12 : 17 eggs retrieved/6 fertilized, ET 11/10/12 : 5dt of 2 embies/0 frosties BFN
  IVF #2: ER 1/28/13 : 12 eggs retrieved/9 fertilized, ET 2/2/13 : 5dt of 2 embies/0 frosties BFN
  IVF #3: ER 4/15/13 : 13 eggs retrieved/7 fertilized, ET 4/18/13 : 3dt of 3 embies/0 frosties BFN
  Laparoscopy 5/24/13 : Stage 2 Endo, Scaring, and Both tubes Blocked but successfully Opened
  IVF #4 (Clinical Trial): ER 7/22/13 : 15 eggs/8 fertilized, ET 7/25/13 : 3dt of 3 embies/0 frosties BFN
  IVF #5: ER 11/4/13 : 13 eggs/12 fertilized, ET 11/9/13 : 5dt of 2 embies/0 frosties BFP!!! Beta 11/20/13 = 447 1 Beautiful Baby! EDD: July 28, 2014

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• SigmundsGirl

  February 2013

  I would feel the exact same way. I am so sorry that happened to you. {{{HUGS!}}}

  Dx: PCOS and short luteal phase
  18 cycles (3 with our RE) - Metformin + Clomid + HCG booster did the trick!
  BFP #1 6/22/09 EDD: 3/2/10 DS born: 3/8/10

  TTC #2 since Dec 2011
  BFP #2 7/8/12 EDD: 3/18/12 M/C @ 9w1d: 8/16/12

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• ammare

  February 2013

  I'm sorry. I know the feeling and have been there a few times. This past year has been especially brutal.  My boss's wife had their DS at the same time as me and she is now on her second pregnancy since then. Plus, there are 2 others at work. I'm completely happy for them, but it also makes me cry.

  TTC#2 since December 2010. HSG and bloodwork all good. SA results not so good. Unmedicated IUI#1 6/19/2012 - BFN

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• anitaflora member

  February 2013

  Oh honey I'm so, so sorry.  Huge squishy hugs to you!!!

  dream 1 CAME TRUE 2.13.2010

  
  

   <dream 2> 12.2011

  
  

   2.10.12 : 4 weeks

  
  

  6.17.12 : 10 weeks

  
  

  10.10.12 : 4 weeks, 6 days

  
  

  12.13.12 : 9 weeks, 1 day

  
  

  4.6.13 : 4 weeks, 4 days

  
  

  10.27.13 : 5 weeks, 6 days

  
  

  4.2.14 (IVF #1) : 4 weeks, 1 day

  
  

  6.19.14 : IVF #2 Negative

  
  

   </dream 2>

  
  

   resolve.org

  
  

  AMA, Diminished Ovarian Reserve, heterozygous MTHFR
  
  
  

  "all it was was a fairytale and devotion to a dream"
  
  lyrics
  

  
  ***All always welcome!!***

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• ceebeetee member

  February 2013

  So sorry you are having a rough day . I think we have all been in a similar mindset - angry, sad, pissed, tired, depressed, etc.  I felt the same almost any time over the past year whenever I heard of another person getting pregnant, and especially if it was their second baby since I had my ds.  My (inward) reaction would always be "really?!?! Ugh!"  Hugs to you, know that we all understand! 

  TTC baby #2 since July 2011, DX: low AMH
  BFP 1/21/13, blighted ovum m/c 2/12/13
  

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• hopingforbaby2 member

  February 2013

  i know how u feel!  there are 6 girls pregnant at my job!  all  them got pregnant so easy.  i've been trying for 2 years!  its just so unfair!  i'm happy for all of them but its also a daily reminder that I'm still not pregnant.  makes me hate going to work!!!  

  DS born 9/2009 ~

    

  TTC baby #2 since January 2011 ~ BFP May 2011 -mc at 6 weeks ~ November 2012=CP ~ Jan 2012 started seeing RE dx: unexplained infertility ~Natural cycle 3/26/13-BFP on HPT!  3/28/13-beta#1 72  4/1/12-beta#2 440. 4/3/13-beta#3 970  EDD: 12/5/2013

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• jeannaqueena member

  February 2013

  Oh Lauren, you are allowed to cry, you are allowed to feel jealous and we all know you would never wish this on anyone.  It took 14 months to get og with our twins, we were so lucky that the first round of clomid worked for us, and now this is our 14th month too and by this point it just wears you down. 

   I am headed to a baby shower tonight and dreading it.

  This morning the guy who works for my husband said his wife was in a bad mood.  I am sure you can guess why...it's their first month and they didnt get pg.  I rolled my eyes (inside) I told him to remind her that it takes a while for some and that not to stress until 6 months to a year.  This dude completely knows about our struggles....ugh ignorance.

  Anyway, I am so very sorry it hit you wrong today, I am so very sorry about all your losses.   

  TTC#1: 14 months on our own (did HSG, b/w, SA);
  BFP on Cycle 14--TWINS! Identical twin boys stillborn at 19wks(1/9/10)
  3 break cycles; took clomid 50mg, BFP #2 Beta #1 35, Beta #2 338!!! Owen was born 2/11/11! 
  TTC#2: 4 cycles on clomid: BFNs
  BFP #3: Cycle #5 100mg clomid; beta #1 21; beta #2 6=CP 
  Cycle #6 break cycle TTC no meds=BFN
  Cycle #7: 150 clomid+ovidril+IUI=BFN (switched to RE)
  Cycle #8: follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
  Cycle #9 Forced break due to cyst
  Cycle #10 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
  Cycle #11 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
  Cycle#12 Forced break due to cyst, went on BCP; did repeat HSG, Saline U/S
  Cycle #13 IVF: Follistim/Menapur ER 11-30 11 eggs, 5 mature, 4 fertilized and 3dt on 12-3; BFN
  Cycle #14: IVF#2 lupron/follistim/menopur ER 1-22, 19 eggs, 14 fertilized, 5dt on 1-27, BFP!! beta 1: 63, beta 2: 119; EDD 10-15-13; 1 frozen embie

  Miracle Surprise BFP, EDD 10-1-15; saw HB great Betas, 11weeks lost baby MC at home

  Moved forward with FET transfered solo frostie on 6-4-15, beta 1: 315, beta 2: 738, u/s showed one baby on track EDD 2-21-16
  

  
  

  
  

  Jeanna's Motherhood Journey or Our Secret IVF Blog 

  
  

  
  

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• queenbone member

  February 2013

  I'm so sorry, Lauren; I'd totally be crying too! I think it is very natural for us to feel a sting when someone announces an easily achieved pregnancy. Especially so ding dong early! I've cried a lot, you are NOT alone.
  

  Married 9-4-04

  
  

  ***PM me for my IF history***

  
  

  

  

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• reederah member

  February 2013

  been there. hope your day gets better!!

  
  

   
   
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him." x 2
  
  07.22.11
  10.22.13
  

  
  
  
  
  

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• HairStylinWifey member

  February 2013

  I cry at pretty much every pregnancy announcement, regardless of who it comes from. I always just wish it was me instead. I feel what you're saying.

  It's perfectly okay to cry. It always makes me feel a little better.

  
   
  A + Life
  
  
  
  
  Me:24 DH:27
  TTC #2 since August 2011
  
  DX: Low AMH 1.79 Mildly elevated FSH 9.9

  1 month of Letrozole, 3 IUI's with Letrozole, All BFN. 1 canceled IVF cycle, BFN.

  
  May 2013 IVF w/ICSI #1.5: Start BCP 5/8 2 pills a day. Suppression Ultrasound 5/29. Begin Dexamethasone & Lupron Microdose 5/31. Started Gonal F and Menopur 6/2.

  
  ER 6/12 13R,9M,8F.

  
  5DT CANCELLED due to moderate OHSS

  
  5DT UNcancelled due to embryos not being capable of cryopreservation

  
  Transfered 2 "poor quality" embryo's on 6/17

  No frozen embryos.

  
  Beta #1 6/25 6. Chemical Pregnancy confirmed. Beta #2 6/28 -1
  Done trying

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• tryingyetagain member

  February 2013

  You are not ridiculous at all, just hurting and human.  I've also been there many times.  I always feel better when I give in and have a good cry.  Let yourself if you need to!

  Me: 42. DH: 46.

  1st Pregnancy: MC, 11/19/00.

  2nd Pregnancy: DS born 04/10/06.

  3rd Pregnancy: CP, 03/11.

  4th Pregnancy: MMC, D&C 11/30/11, Genetic testing revealed Trisomy 4.

  5th Pregnancy: Ectopic, 2 doses of Methotrexate unsuccessful, surgery 4/10/12, right tube removed.

  Tried Letrozole January 2013-July 2013 (including 2 IUIs), all BFN.  After 2 1/2 years of trying for child #2, decided to "give up" after July cycle, based on AMA.

  August 16, 2013:  BFP our first month of "not trying!"  Still in shock.  Beta #1 (14dpo): 183.  Beta #2 (17dpo):  611.  Ultrasound 8/30/13: baby measured 6 weeks, 1 day, heart rate of 118 bpm! 
  Ultrasound 9/13/13:  8 weeks, heart rate of 176!
  Baby is due 4/26/14

  

  

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