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Baby Showers
Really want my hubby there... help me out lol
So, my husbands side is throwing me a shower. I wanted hubby and I to experience this together because I feel like it's "our" baby...
He thinks showers are for women only and that it's totally weird for the guy to be there. I tried to explain to him that the last few showers I went to were co-ed. I suppose I'll just have to get over it. I get that he wouldn't want to be there on my side with a bunch of women he doesn't know but I really don't know his side very well. It's very generous of them to throw me a shower and they are really excited. I just wish I could have him there. 
Am I so weird for wanting him there? Am I being an annoying wife? lol. Anyone going to have their hubs there or have you before?
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Re: Really want my hubby there... help me out lol
I don't think you're weird for wanting him there, but if it's not a co-ed shower, I could see why he wouldn't want to go. Could he drop you off and say hi to everyone and then come back and pick you up and thank the guests for your gifts? Maybe he could go run some errands or see a movie during the shower?
I would feel a little awkward on my own in a room full of DH's family too, but showers are usually short and sweet. By the time you greet everyone, eat some cake, and open gifts, it will be over before you know it.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I agree with the last part of this, especially. But I kinda disagree with the first part.
A baby shower is, in my opinion, "an experience" just as much as any gathering or party is, and possibly more so since it's focused on one of the most life changing and exciting times of your life: the birth of your first child. That experience can be just as special for you, as a new mom, without YH there. You and YH will have plenty of experiences together when it comes to your new baby, so I definitely wouldn't stress over it too much. In the end, whether it's "an experience" or not, it's just one day
Well since it is something I will be experiencing, I would call it an experience.
I will probably ask if he will drop me off and help me with things, it's just that we live an hour away and he is def. not going to go anywhere to entertain himself. He's a major homebody.
I am not familiar with the area his family lives in and stuff so I guess it will just feel a little weird going out to their house without him. Not that I am not grateful of course, not trying to complain just can't help but wish he'd be there.
Who is hosting the shower? If it's a relative he's close to, would he feel comfortable watching TV in the other room or going out with their husband? It would make it more feasible for you to travel to the shower together without forcing him to spend the afternoon with the ladies....
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
Expecting Baby Bean February 2017
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Ditto pp about the root canal! If the party isn't coed, it would be really strange for him to be there. In my family, the dad (or fiance in the case of bridal showers) comes for the last little bit of the party to say hi, meet anyone there who is new to him, and to help load the car. Maybe that would work in your situation? He'd be there for a little bit but not enough to make anyone feel like he was crashing girls day.
If it is not co-ed it would be really strange for him to be there the whole time. If he were to appease you and come it will be very apparent to all the guests that he really does not want to be there. I've gone to two such showers. The DTB's looked very uncomfortable and I bet the MTB's wished they weren't there. lol
In my family the guys show up toward the end (eat some of the left-over food, say hi and thank you to everyone and then cart stuff out to the car). At most showers I've attended the DTB comes at the very end...says Hi and packs the car with the gifts while the MTB is saying her good-byes.
FWIW...my DH refuses to even go to co-ed showers. He went to two of them and said "NEVER AGAIN!". lol
I think it is an event for YOU. Enjoy some girl time. It's kind of annoying that you are missing the point that most husbands don't give two Shiits about baby showers. You want him there and all I hear is "me me me". What if he has plans? What if it makes him uncomfortable? Seriously, give your H a pass on booties, cake and listening to women exclaim "awe how cute!" A zillion times. You are making it into a bigger deal than it is.
Have someone take pictures and share it with him later. You are being incredibly melodramatic about this. Especially since people have been very nice in telling you to not force him to attend.
Who gives a crap if his family is mostly female? What does that matter? How is that at all relevant to why you need him there? Showers are usually female ordeals.
If you can't handle his female relatives without your husband to run interference then decline the shower.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Ditto the idea that he comes at the beginning for a little while to say "hi" and then comes back to help you load up the gifts, which really takes some doing. Especially since it's his family hosting it.
Maybe he and another of the male family members can grab lunch while the ladies watch you open gifts.
Unless it's truly a co-ed shower and all the guys will be there, just let it be a ladies' thing.
Our shower was January 19th and was a joint shower. We themed it an inside Baby-Q. We did not do a lot of pink decor. We used turquoise blue and red so that the guys did not feel it was too froo froo. We served BBQ, baked beans, cole slaw, veggies, chips and dip. We had cake too! We did have one fancy lemonade drink and we held the event inside at a community center. The tables were decorated with brown paper and burlap with mason jars with candles on each table. We purposely down played the "girly" stuff as to make the guys feel more comfortable. We ended up having close to 50 people show up and everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves. When it came time to open gifts, my hubby and I sat on a couch draped in fabric which was the same color theme as the rest of the shower. He opened a gift, then I opened a gift. We allowed a BYOB for any guys that wanted to bring beer etc.
My husband had a blast visiting with his buddies. Hope this helps!
Don't force this on him, for pete's sake.
My husband was very touched by the generosity of our respective families and my friends and co-workers, but he would rather have eaten glass than be forced to sit in a circle with mostly women, play silly games, and open presents, not to mention endure the conversations about childbirth, epidurals, episiotomies, breastfeeding, and cloth diapers. In turn, his absence allowed me to enjoy myself without worrying about whether he was having a good time as well.
He showed up at the end of the two friends/family showers to get some food, check out the presents, say hello, and thank everyone. It worked out just fine and he does not feel like he missed out on anything at all.
Married Bio * BFP Charts
Bliss, scarily, this was my first thought as well.
Like you don't put those "classy" comments out there to get a response? Sorry if mine wasn't "hahaha so hilarious BB, your my hero!"
psst. How's that for a sense of humor?
good lord people. I was asking if it was that weird of me to ask him to come. I'm not forcing him, I was just curious about joint showers and if any other ladies had their husbands there. good grief.
and yeah taking a *** feels damn good btw.
I probably would have said something similar if you hadn't first. I guess I need one of those filter things, too.
my DH actually asked to come. We are having the shower at our country club where there is a big brunch buffet. He will NOT be eating with us or in our private room during the games (he'll be with my dad and my brothers - they will NOT miss out on the food
But he wants to come into our private room to open presents with me. It is our child - not just mine - and if he wants to help open the presents for our child - I'm all for it. I hate having the attention all on me anyway!
8/15 - BFP
beta #1 - 178 beta #2 - 385 beta #3 - 934
u/s 9/13 - 1 little heartbeat
If he doesn't want to go, I definitely wouldn't force him, but if its important to you for him to be there just let him know that and maybe he will come around.
Who all is going to be at this shower? Even though it's DH's side, if it's only female relatives, I can tell you that it is going to be BRUTAL for him to be there. As if your DH wants to sit around talking about baby clothes, breastfeeding and diapers. Trust me, this is not a place for a man to be. And his family will probably think it's a little awkward for him to be there. Your DH is not thinking this is an "experience" he needs to have before the baby... it will be a miserable way for him to spend his afternoon.
Have your DH show up at the end, help pack up the gifts and say hello to the women folk. That is experience enough for him.