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7 Months, can they learn to share?

Jordans MadreJordans Madre member
in Multiples

Hello ladies,

I am mostly a lurker but, I am so frustrated by this that I hope you won't mind me posing the question here!

My twins are 7 months old, and while it's great that they have started to play with each other and need me less for their entertainment, I am frustrated by the constant crying because one as ripped a toy from the other ones hand/mouth. I try and return the toy to the original "owner" and say something like "we need to share" but I know they aren't really comprehending.

Is there anything else I could be doing to reenforce that toy snatching is not ok? I know they're still very young and that this will probably be a life long problem in some shape or form, lol.

Any thoughts, advice or shared experiences would be greatly appreciated!!

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Re: 7 Months, can they learn to share?

  • karo112karo112 member

    i will say it gets better. When mine were 7 months - the dominate one would take the toy and the other would just sort of...let her. As they got older the one started to fight back.

    We started using "time out" when they were about...1 or so. Usually it would be putting the toy in time out - but as it progressed and they "got it" more, we put them in time out.

    It will get better and then we'll have a really bad week where the dominate twin will just be "relentless" as her teacher told us. So it's a work in progress. A woman in my MOM's group recommended Parenting with Love and Logic (I think). Might not help for when they are 7 months - but as they get older.

     The fights get bigger!! We're into physical fights now - which is even less fun than the whinging. 

                                                

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    Olivia and Matilda, 09/10/201 - Graham, 10/01/2013




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  • Jen0204Jen0204 member

    imageRWMomma:
    I haven't dealt with this with my twins yet, but have girls that are 14 months apart. I had the same problem with the constant crying because of toy snatching. I did the same thing you are doing and never got anywhere. I finally stopped intervening and they learned to take it back themselves or find a new toy. I only intervene now when someone gets hurt. They are older now and know that taking toys isn't nice. They don't like when it happens to them, so they have mostly stopped the toy stealing. HTH and GL!

    Yes

    This is what we've done.  We try to let them work most stuff out on their own (well, age appropriately, of course).  I've been shocked at how quickly/early they seem to catch onto things.  For example, if N goes to pull O's hair and I'm not somewhere they can see me, O will yell at her and slap N's hand away.   If the same thing happens when I'm sitting there they'll both look at me while N does it and then O will cry like there's no tomorrow and will need to be comforted and it's a production.  They play really well now together (for the most part).

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  • leneae10leneae10 member
    My son is almost 2 and is *just* getting the concept of sharing.  Distraction and redirection are about all that can be done until then....
    image
    Twin boys born too early at 17w4d and 18w2d in February 2010
    Transabdominal cerclage placed September 2010
    DS born at 35w1d in February 2011
    Twin girls born at exactly 36w in February 2013
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  • Jen0204Jen0204 member

    imageleneae10:
    My son is almost 2 and is *just* getting the concept of sharing.  Distraction and redirection are about all that can be done until then....

    The girls share much better then my nephew (who's 5 months older) does.  I just assumed that with twins sharing and general interacting with each other is something that is learned more easily then a singleton would just out of necessity. 

    I certainly don't think how well they play is a reflection of stellar parenting on my part Smile

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  • Jordans MadreJordans Madre member

    Thanks ladies! I appreciate all of the advice and encouragement!!

    I've tried bribing him to return her toy by giving him a different toy, no go! Also, if I let him keep her toy and give her a new one, he then decides he'd rather have that one, ugh! I only intervene when there are tears, otherwise I'd get nothing done all day!

    As you've all pointed out it's a work in progress!

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