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Multiples
shaunah816
member
Getting it all done
shaunah816
member
in Multiples
Hi ladies,
This is maybe more appropriate to post under Working Moms, but having twins brings a unique dimension to my question to I'm turning to your expertise.
My husband and I both work full time M-F, 9-5, and the boys are in daycare during that time. I'm also a part time student earning a degree online. I feel like I can't keep up with life lately and am hoping to find some better ways of managing our chaos.
On a typical day, we oversleep until 7:30am after having a crummy night with the boys (they've been sick for three weeks now, so crummy nights are most nights). We're then rushing to get them changed and fed. I entertain them in our room while my husband showers for work, then we bring them downstairs, toss them on the activity mat while my husband gets dressed and packed for work and I wash bottles, pack them up, prep the formula, and get everything in our daycare bag. Load the boys into the car and my husband drops them off on his way to work. I then rush to get dressed, packed up, take the dog out and feed him, and then head to work.
While I'm at work I'm pumping 2-3 times, and usually doing homework on my lunch hour. I pick the boys up and am back home around 5:30pm. Change them both, toss them onto the activity mat. If I'm lucky they'll both play there and give me time to take the dog out and feed him (my husband will do this if he's gotten home by then), dump the daycare bottles into hot water, and prep the boys' next feeding (which most times is nearly immediately after getting home). My husband will usually try to make dinner during this time while I watch the boys, but it's very hard and we usually just throw something unhealthy together. Get the boys to bed between 7 and 8, then eat dinner, pick up, do homework (me), try to workout (both of us), do laundry, etc. etc. etc. until I'm ready to pass out around 9pm. Up for MOTN feedings. Rinse and repeat.
Basically I feel like I can never keep up. I want to be able to have at least some homecooked meals during the week, and get to bed at a decent hour since I'm so shattered on a daily basis. My homework is starting to suffer because I have no free time. There's almost always a baby that needs attention.
Do you have any tips for making things easier and maintaining sanity? I struggled with this on my maternity leave when I SAH with them, but it's worse now that I'm back to work. Thanks for reading this long plea for help!
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Re: Getting it all done
I have no advice only words of amazement that you are keeping this pace and your dedication to your studies.
I live in Canada where we get a year's mat leave, I thought it was hard to get it all done and be home all day, couldn't imagine doing it while working FT.
Keep your chin up! Your doing great. Let things that can wait slide.
I mostly lurk but recognize you from the oct bmb. I could have written this post word for word. The only way I feel I can keep up is if I'm always one step ahead of things which means I never rest. Can you do some things on the weekend? ie-crockpot meals you can make in bulk and freeze or make meals for the week?
Also, my friend was nice enough and bought us 12 more bottles so this way we always have a set in use and another set in the dishwasher or already clean and ready to go. I have no advice on the homework situation but I give you credit for what you're doing. It's a daily struggle but I've learned to let certain things go, which I wouldn't have done before the twins, but I know that they are my priority and are more important.
Good luck!
TTC #1 since May 2010. BFP #1 - 5/31/10; m/c on 7/22/10
Started seeing RE in August 2011
5 IUIs: BFN; IVF #1 - Success! BFP - 7/25/12
I hesitate to suggest adding anything to the night-time routine, but getting the daycare bag prepped the night before will help the mornings go a little smoother.
I too went to school on-line, but with my singleton from the time he was 5 months to 14 months. It was really hard. I only took one class at a time (2 a sememester - they were 10 week schedules) and it was a certificate program, not a full degree, but there was so much work involved, so I totally feel you on that front. I only worked on schoolwork from 8-10pm (daddy on duty) and a few hours on the weekends, during naptime. Because I worked on it almost daily, it was okay. It was harder for the classes with huge group projects.
But I made sure I went to bed around 10pm so I could get as full a nights sleep as possible. I know a second baby adds a new dimension to this, but you are doing great! Once they get over their illness and the 4 month growth spurt, hopefully they'll start settling down and mostly sleeping thru the night for you
That really makes a huge difference, once you get better sleep, and it WILL come!
Ditto everyone else on pre-prepping meals on weekends. baggies full of food prepped and in the freezer. Pull out the night before to thaw and crock pot or grill, or whatever as needed. I find if the prep is done, I am much more apt to cook it.
TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption!
Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!
I don't know how your daycare works, but can you bring them earlier? Depending on where daycare is versus home and work, maybe you could drop them off, them come home and get ready rather then feeding them at home first. Mine are much older, but we get up, H gets them dressed while I get ready for work (I usually shower the night before), then we both bring them down to the car and I head to daycare with them while he gets ready for work and heads out.
Our meals during the week are very simple. A common meal (when we're actually being good about eating healthy!) is grilled chicken and frozen veggies. Whenever chicken breasts are on sale I buy a bunch and then cut them up into portions for one meal, toss some marinade in each bag, label them, and toss them in the freezer. The day before I pull some chicken out so it will thaw by dinner and then all we have to do is grill it up and microwave the veggies, 15 minutes tops. I also did a crockpot meal last week for the first time and H and the girls loved it. I think those meals will be good because the crockpot makes the chicken very tender and it just shreds apart so it's easy for the girls to eat (and something to keep in mind for when yours get older).
H has also learned how to do some stuff. He's comfortable cooking anything that's prepped. Other stuff doesn't get done as often. We clean when we have time, but it's certainly not as clean as before we had kids. Important stuff gets done more frequently (like vacuuming since they're mobile), other stuff gets done when it can. My ILs like to take the girls for a few hours on Sundays so a lot gets done then.
And it gets SO much easier as they get older. Life at 12.5 months is like night and day from those first 6 months. But delegate, let some stuff go, take some time on the weekend to do a bunch of prep work for meals (and homework) and push your H to help more.
I can't believe you're working AND going to school AND have two infants! You must be Superwoman
Once they STTN, perhaps you can wake up a little earlier to accomplish schoolwork-since in the morning you will be most refreshed. Personally I would have taken off from schoolwork (since you are working fulltime) until they were STTN. You need sleep to be able to concentrate well.
I BF'd them until a year, but when I went back to work their daytime feedings were formula. Their morning and evening feedings were BF. It was far easier on me to be able to put their bottles together the night before and BF on demand during the other feedings.
We saved most laundry to the weekends (unless there was a blow out or something that needed immediate attention).
FYI--Another tough time you may find is when they turn around a year---at that point they will be eating what you are eating (and you will want to prepare healthy for them and you)---so managing mealtimes together and not split is a whole new level of complexity to get used to.
I think 75% of your insanity would be solved with STTN.
the only thing I can suggest it sleeping in turns if you can so the other person can be with the kids/laundry/bottles etc. Also, I've gotten in the habit of cooking 2 nights per week, and I just make a lot, then we eat leftovers the other nights. or grab pizza/subway once.
I also got into the habit, cuz I read it on Pinterest, to do a load of laundry every morning. I throw it in the washer right when I get up, then it can go in the dryer before work, then I fold the laundry when our girls go to bed, and my husband does all the dishes/bottles during that time.
as far as working out, I found some 10 minute workouts on my On Demand menu from Comcast. I try to do one of those everyday, and my husband works out on his lunchbreak, cuz there's a gym at his work.
other than that, just try to survive right now. it will get easier!
also, to maintain sanity, get a house cleaner to come once a month, it's SOOOOO worth the money. I can't keep my house clean like I used to. I just pick up and do what I can, but once a month, we have a woman that cleans the sh** out of our house. and I love it! it's the best $60 I could spend.
ID Twin girls 04/2012
Baby #3 Due Jan. 2017
You are Superwoman in my book!
I second the others that advise getting daycare bottles together the night before. If I'm lucky, the babies are usually napping when I get home from daycare so I leave them in their car seats and try to knock out the bottles and grab something for myself for dinner before they wake up for their last bottle at 7pm. I have to get both babies up, fed, dressed, as well as myself, in the morning so I prep EVERYTHING for the next day once they go down at 8pm. I lay out their clothes, my clothes, take my shower, pack my pumping stuff up and grab whatever I'm taking for my lunch. This way when I wake up, I can get myself dressed in 15-20 minutes before getting the babies up to eat and I can just focus on getting them ready before we leave.
I will say I'm struggling with eating healthy too. I find I'm eating out and eating way more purchased frozen meals than I would like - I really miss cooking. DH can hardly boil water so he's no help in that department
Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
E & C Born 10/19/2012
I know how you feel except at the time we only had 1 baby, and I'm really hoping to be all done with the bulk of schoolwork before these two arrive in 2 weeks! I work fulltime, went to school at night, had to fit in commuting, studying and writing papers, had one baby, and was BFing/pumping all day long. And DS stopped sleeping through the night when I went back to work because he started reverse cycling since he preferred to be fed from the tap so to speak. There were a lot of evenings when I'd go to bed thinking to myself is this all there will be to our lives???
The things that helped me most were extra sets of pump parts and bottles so that we had a larger supply to go through before *needing* to wash everything. I also tried to fit in washing one set of pump parts at the end of the day at work before I left the office, and DH would clean one set at home at the end of the night. In between pumping sessions, I would just clean it w/ a wipe and stick them in the fridge.
DH doesn't really cook so I handled the food prep, but he did all the dishes, including my pump parts and baby bottles. Meals were simplified - breakfast we both usually ate at work when we got in and would consist of things like a cup of yogurt, a banana, instant oatmeal or keeping a box of cereal at our desks. Dinner was made in large batches in order to have leftovers for lunch and dinner the next day or three. I prepped a lot of my week's veggies all at once on weekends (cleaning and chopping) and made batches large enough to freeze extra portions. The crockpot and crockpot liner bags became my best friend since dinner would be relatively inexpensive, would cook while I'm at work, would make 5-6 qt batches, and the liner bag meant clean up was easy. We also accepted that there were going to be times when we would need to rely on convenience foods - frozen dinners when they were on sale, canned soup, frozen pizzas, rotisserie chickens, etc. Steamable frozen bags of vegetables were and still are a staple in my house - we stock up when they go on sale.
Neither of us are morning people so I tried to have as much packed the night before as possible - work bag, pump bag, school bag, daycare bag. Bottles were filled, ready to grab from the fridge, lunches were packed ready to grab from the fridge. My morning routine for getting myself ready was minimized - I accepted that my daily hairstyle was going to be one that did not involve anything more than a barrette or scrunchy, and make up pretty much went out the window. I needed to nurse DS for his 5am feed after which he would sleep a bit more, get myself ready, pump, and be at work at 7am. DH would get up, get himself ready, get DS dressed and changed for daycare, give him a bottle, and get out the door to drop him off and go to work. Most days, except for the nights I had classes, I'd pick up DS, get home, finish dinner prep, and spend some time w/ DS before getting him ready for bed. DH would start the chores while I did bath, bedtime and feeding. I would finish help out after that. On school nights, I'd go straight from work to school and get home after DS was in bed, so I would study in between work and school, and for a little while after getting home. I also would study while pumping and usually for a period on weekend days.
I have no idea how I functioned w/ getting up several times each night to feed DS. I was thankful that he generally went to bed willingly around 9pm, would sleep for a stretch until around 1-2 am and then again at 5. I tried to be in bed by 11pm. We accepted that our house would be a disaster area - we got dishes and laundry done regularly, but the rest of housework would sometimes just have to wait. I could not have gotten through getting a Master's degree without a ton of support from DH but he did his best to take on a huge share of the housework so that my primary responsibilities were feeding all of us, packing our daily bags, and getting my schoolwork done. It was a really rough first year though, esp w/ DS going through phases like teething, and he was prone to ear infections so there were a lot of days when I was a total sleep-deprived zombie. As DS got older, was weaned and eating mainly table foods, and started sleeping through the night (at 15m) it got a LOT better. I'm trying to finish my thesis now in hopes that by the time the twins are here, I'm at most editing and defending, but won't be back at work yet because I can't imagine going through it again w/ two babies this time.