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separation anxiety

vanceke08vanceke08 member
in Attachment Parenting
My 9 month old has pretty severe separation anxiety; even when I walk into another room. I have to leave for 4 days at the beginning of april and I am so worried about having her away from me. We have tried a couple times to leave for an evening and have a sitter, to see how she would do, and it was not good. she wouldn't eat for them and she cried for a long time before she finally just went to sleep. It is at the point now where she won't even eat for my mother, when we are at her house; she will only eat for me. As much as this warms my heart and makes me feel like we have fostered a beautiful attachment, I have to be gone for those 4 days and I am really, REALLY concerned about how she will get along. help? advice? words of comfort? I just feel like a bad mama, but I know that she needs to learn to trust other people as well so that her attachment to me does not become a hinderance to her social development. I should also mention my daughter has aspergers; that is probably why social settings are so difficult for her. helpful comments are appreciated; I am just a new mommy trying to figure it all out and embracing the AP philosophies that I didn't even know were AP until not too long ago. 



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Re: separation anxiety

  • kdjuddkdjudd member
    My daughter has horrible separation anxiety too. My husband and I were out of town for a week last month and she did really well actually. She fussed for quite a bit when we first left, but after we were gone for a few hours she was distracted enough that she didn't fuss much. Perhaps just keep trying babysitters for longer and longer periods of time to see how she does?  
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  • BriDailyBriDaily member

    Just wanted to make sure I am right in thinking you adopted your daughter?

    Have you followed the CDC vaccination schedule? Because it is eery how similar the characteristics of autism and mercury/metal poisoning are. Look into this a bit and if you think this might be a possibility, I recommend having a blood toxin screening done and detoxing if necessary.

    Another issue to look at is a possible food allergy. I have a friend whose daughter was on the verge of going through testing for ASD and finally took my advice to cut out gluten and dairy - HUGE difference! All the odd social behavior they had been seeing was gone almost overnight. Because your daughter is so young, it should be fairly simple to see if this might be an underlying issue - use rice, potatoes, quinoa, and other gluten-free grains. Offer a lot of fresh fruits and steamed veggies. 

    Lastly, if this is an adoption situation, then you may want to pull your records back out. You should have received some documents containing the family medical history for your daughter. This can really help in seeing if there is a pattern of social disorders among biological family or not.

    As a note, attachment parenting is supposed to foster children to become more independent. Keep in mind that every child has good days and bad days when it comes to this, but it definitely seems that something is blocking that part of your daughter's development. Best of luck to you and I hope you can get things sorted out and help your daughter become her best around you and others!    

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