Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
beachbum0084
member
Re: C sec and tubal?
This was 100 years ago, obviously, but my mom tried to get a tubal during her pregnancies 2x. Once with her third pregnancy and once with her fifth. On the third pregnancy, the doctor said that she had to wait 6 months to "think about it" and on the fifth pregnancy, my sister came early and the doctor said that "you should wait until you're sure this baby survives." My mom was 40 so she really didn't plan to go through pregnancy again, regardless.
She was living near where you are when both these experiences happened so I thought I'd throw that out there. I don't know if this is ancient thinking that no longer applies or if it's a FL thing.
**DD1 - 7/9/98**
**DS - 11/9/00**
**DD2 - 4/30/13**
I delivered at a private Catholic hospital and just had a tubal done with my 4th c-section. The hospital will ONLY allow a tubal with 3+ c-sections. I had to fill out paperwork, it had to go before the board and be approved.
It was a very easy procedure. Took about 5 minutes since I was already on the table..........I don't regret my decision.
GL!
Married October 16th, 2010
TTC #1 since October 2010
1st BFP 1-12-11
MC'd 1-22-11
2nd BFP 2-15-11
Our Wee One....**KENNEDY JO** born 10/3/11@ 36weeks via Csection
My BFP Chart
Labor Buddy to **MRS.ATCH** Welcome Quinn 11-5-11**
Yes, I'm scheduled to get a tubal with my RCS. It's completely normal here (in MA) and Dr's will definitely do it on request.
She did say that she will ask me before I go into the OR, during surgery, and then again right before she does it so at any point if I want to not go through with it I can back out.
Yes, this is true. I think I was asked like a hundred times........
Just had my 3rd and final c/s. It was a scheduled c/s and I had a tubal as well. My doctor told me I was an excellent candidate because of my age (37), complicated previous c/s, terrible recoveries and this being my 3rd child. He did ask me a number of times and again on the operating table.
Because this was my 3rd and my previous c/s were complicated, my tubal took forever. I was in surgery for an hour after DS was delivered. And I was way more sore for days after my surgery this time around than I was with either of my previous two.
I've had a c section and a VBAC. My VBAC was a very difficult delivery in the world of vaginal births (3 hours of pushing, forceps assistance, 2nd degree tear) but it was light years better than the C-section. After my C I was uncontrollably vomiting for 12 hours. Zofran didn't help, nothing helped. I couldn't hold or nurse my daughter. Then two weeks later I went for a check up and my incision was infected (versus 2 weeks post vaginal birth where I was up and moving like before getting pregnant). It turned what should have been the best day of my life into the worst.
I just found out today that it's likely I will not be able to VBAC this time (my cervix is not amenable and I have PIH and pre-eclampsia so I need to deliver within the next week) and I'm terrified. I may need to call the doctor and request xanax to get through the next few days because I'm so scared of another section.
The only bright side I can think of is that I can get a tubal (and I've expressed often to the doctor that between DH and I only wanting 3 and a month of bedrest due to hypertension another pregnancy is not an option). Otherwise DH would have a vasectomy and there would be a waiting period before it's effective, which is annoying.
I had planned on asking my OB to do a tubal while she was 'in there'. Now after reading some of these posts about giving birth at a Catholic hospital, I don't know if that will happen..since I am giving birth at a Catholic hospital! YIKES!