know-it-all vent (long)

Edkitten · February 2013

Let me start off by saying i am a FTM Last night I went over to my Best friends house. I hadn't seen her for a while. She has a 6 year old and a 3 year old, and is so excited about me and my husband finally having a baby... She even bought us stuff for the baby already

however she was the biggest know-it-all all night, and it really annoyed me. She said "I heard you are all hyper and signed up for birthing classes already." I told her my OB told me to sign up early because they run out of spots. She said "I don't know why you signed up, I never took birthing class. You won't need it, it's just a waste of money". I told her I wanted to take classes because I was going to try not to get an epidural... She laughed at me and told me there is no way I would give birth without an epidural. Then she said "all those classes will teach you is how to breath and they tell you how to do that at the hospital"

She also told me it was stupid to buy a snugsbunny swing because "I won't need it". Then she told my husband not to come along when I did my registry, that she should come along because she knows what we need.

there were other comments but I am trying to keep this post to a minimum. I was so annoyed and wanted to cry when we left.

I just wish she would stop being a know-it-all. It is nice to offer advice but she has to realize everyone is different and what worked for her may not work for me.

and p.s. I love my snugabunny swing and I know my bean will too. I found it on amazon way less than BRU

lindsayanne14 · February 2013

I'm sure it's pretty annoying having a best friend that's a mommy-to-be know it all! You may want to try to find a way to talk to her about it because I would imagine shortly after you give birth she will have a lot to say about caring for and raising your new baby. I think it's pretty common for more experienced moms to give unsolicited advice to pregnant woman and new moms...sometimes it's easy to tune them out, but other times it can be tough!

wilsontl19191 · February 2013

Try and take it all with a grain of salt. It's only going to get worse from here the amount of unsolicited advice is ridiculous! And it will not end when you give birth! As for the classes, I feel like it's all part of the experience of having your first child. I didn't "need" the classes, per se, but I enjoyed them and I'm glad I took them.

wilsontl19191 · February 2013

And DS love his snugabunny swing!! He napped in it for the first 6 months! I love that thing!

Lovehavinggirls · February 2013

Unfortunately a lot of people are going to give you unsolicited advice. When people would tell me something I had on my registry or was planning on doing with LO wouldn't work it would just make me want it more. I would usually respond with I guess I'll see for my self when the time comes.

We went to a birthing class and it was great. They barely taught breathing it was to explain what would happen at the hospital and what would happen during a vaginal birth or a csection. I was so happy we went. We ended up having an emergency csection and I would have been pretty scared if I hadn't been to the class. It was also great for my husband to hear why would happen. There is no way he was going to read a book about it.

Also the snug a bunny swing is great. Reagan loved it. Some kids don't care for swings but you will find that out on your own when LO arrives.

If your friend keeps up with the advice I would tell her that you would like to figure this out on your own.

Good luck

Edkitten · February 2013

Thanks ladies! You are fabulous.

MayDayGirl · February 2013

Ugh how annoying, I sure hope I never Sound like that!

It's def just the beginning, advice comes from everywhere! start now by taking a stand for yourself. Make sure YOU don't sound like a know it all, cuz lets face it, you don't know yet. But just say things like, "well maybe you didn't try to go med free, but that's important to me."...."we'll maybe you didn't need birthing classes but I want all the education I can get." After a few of those I bet she will shut up.

MayDayGirl · February 2013

I always always say to a new mom or mom to be, "this might not work for you, but want to know what worked for us?" Or "feel free to take this with a grain of salt..."

Phew, I am setting my mind at ease I don't think I am a know it all mom. Lol

kateisgreat · February 2013

Edkitten:
I told her I wanted to take classes because I was going to try not to get an epidural... She laughed at me and told me there is no way I would give birth without an epidural.

IDK about you, but comments like that just strengthen my resolve to do whatever it is people are saying I can't. I use cloth diapers, and literally everyone I told about it made negative comments, but that just made me want to prove them wrong. Turns out it's really easy though, so I didn't even need that additional motivation.

amarissa85 · February 2013

I liked that swing too but chose the my little lamb swing. It is almost the exact same swing just minor differences and both got good ratings. I wouldn't worry about her comments. Yes they can be irritating but she probably made the epi comment because she is hoping that you won't do it naturally. Sounds like she is just a bit jealous.

EmarieDuke · February 2013

MayDayGirl:
Ugh how annoying, I sure hope I never Sound like that! It's def just the beginning, advice comes from everywhere! start now by taking a stand for yourself. Make sure YOU don't sound like a know it all, cuz lets face it, you don't know yet. But just say things like, "well maybe you didn't try to go med free, but that's important to me."...."we'll maybe you didn't need birthing classes but I want all the education I can get." After a few of those I bet she will shut up.

haha I was thinking this! My favourite line is everyone is a perfect parent until they are one. I just thanked my good friend who was on her third when I was pregnant with my first for putting up with me and putting me in my place. I love when FTMs basicaly tell me what I did was wrong or their child will sleep/ not have separation anxiety/eat whatever they give them. All I can think is... I wonder how fast you will eat your words?

OP, it sounds like your friend is annoying in more ways than just talking children. Do what you want to do with your pregnancy and you are right everything that what worked or didn't work for her might not work/work for you. But I wouldn't discredit her experience just because she has a bad approach. Your perspective on pregnancy/birth/raising children will be so different once you actually get through it all. You might be surprised how much you agree with her in the end.

Edkitten · February 2013

EmarieDuke:
MayDayGirl:
Ugh how annoying, I sure hope I never Sound like that! It's def just the beginning, advice comes from everywhere! start now by taking a stand for yourself. Make sure YOU don't sound like a know it all, cuz lets face it, you don't know yet. But just say things like, "well maybe you didn't try to go med free, but that's important to me."...."we'll maybe you didn't need birthing classes but I want all the education I can get." After a few of those I bet she will shut up.
haha I was thinking this! My favourite line is everyone is a perfect parent until they are one. I just thanked my good friend who was on her third when I was pregnant with my first for putting up with me and putting me in my place. I love when FTMs basicaly tell me what I did was wrong or their child will sleep/ not have separation anxiety/eat whatever they give them. All I can think is... I wonder how fast you will eat your words?
OP, it sounds like your friend is annoying in more ways than just talking children. Do what you want to do with your pregnancy and you are right everything that what worked or didn't work for her might not work/work for you. But I wouldn't discredit her experience just because she has a bad approach. Your perspective on pregnancy/birth/raising children will be so different once you actually get through it all. You might be surprised how much you agree with her in the end.

i know I might agree with her in the end... But this is my pregnancy and I want to find out on my own, and not change things because some else said so. I don't need people to make me feel stupid for trying things a different way.

I think there is a way to give advice without belittling someone.

magdalina.h · February 2013

Did you speak up? "I know you've btdt, but this is my first. We're excited and looking forward to every little we can do. I know we'll make mistakes, but that's part of learning". Until you say something even though that might not help she won't stop.

Edkitten · February 2013

magdalina.h:
Did you speak up? "I know you've btdt, but this is my first. We're excited and looking forward to every little we can do. I know we'll make mistakes, but that's part of learning". Until you say something even though that might not help she won't stop.

I did. I said everyone and every pregnancy is different... So I will see what works for me.

it didn't really help much...

MitsB707 · February 2013

Ugh, my sister is being the same way with me right now! It's so frustrating that I just want to say, look, I don't want kids or a life like yours. I love my niece and nephew dearly, but they are so incredibly attached to my sister because she never let my brotherinlaw help at all with them and stayed home for the first six months of each of their lives. I just don't want that and have no intentions of being the only parent in our child's life, but my sister keeps giving unwanted advice that implies otherwise. So annoying!

kateisgreat · February 2013

Maritza707:
they are so incredibly attached to my sister because she never let my brotherinlaw help at all with them and stayed home for the first six months of each of their lives

I feel like that's an unfair generalization. Kids can also go to daycare and be clingy, or stay at home with their mothers and be independent. I have stayed at home with D for 18 months and she isn't any more attached to me than any other toddler is to their mother.

MitsB707 · February 2013

kateisgreat:
Maritza707:
they are so incredibly attached to my sister because she never let my brotherinlaw help at all with them and stayed home for the first six months of each of their lives
I feel like that's an unfair generalization. Kids can also go to daycare and be clingy, or stay at home with their mothers and be independent. I have stayed at home with D for 18 months and she isn't any more attached to me than any other toddler is to their mother. 

. I'm only referring to my sister and her children in particular. My sister never allowed anyone to hold them, including her husband, for the first couple months of their lives. She also runs every time they call, so my 7 month old niece has even learned to fake cry so she can get attention. To each their own. I would rather not get unsolicited advice.

EmarieDuke · February 2013

Edkitten:
EmarieDuke:
MayDayGirl:
Ugh how annoying, I sure hope I never Sound like that! It's def just the beginning, advice comes from everywhere! start now by taking a stand for yourself. Make sure YOU don't sound like a know it all, cuz lets face it, you don't know yet. But just say things like, "well maybe you didn't try to go med free, but that's important to me."...."we'll maybe you didn't need birthing classes but I want all the education I can get." After a few of those I bet she will shut up.
haha I was thinking this! My favourite line is everyone is a perfect parent until they are one. I just thanked my good friend who was on her third when I was pregnant with my first for putting up with me and putting me in my place. I love when FTMs basicaly tell me what I did was wrong or their child will sleep/ not have separation anxiety/eat whatever they give them. All I can think is... I wonder how fast you will eat your words?
OP, it sounds like your friend is annoying in more ways than just talking children. Do what you want to do with your pregnancy and you are right everything that what worked or didn't work for her might not work/work for you. But I wouldn't discredit her experience just because she has a bad approach. Your perspective on pregnancy/birth/raising children will be so different once you actually get through it all. You might be surprised how much you agree with her in the end.
i know I might agree with her in the end... But this is my pregnancy and I want to find out on my own, and not change things because some else said so. I don't need people to make me feel stupid for trying things a different way.
I think there is a way to give advice without belittling someone.

Oh I agree, that's why I said I think your friend sound more annoying than just how she talks about children. It sounds more like a personnality thing...

Sascha3 · February 2013

I just wanted to say that the Snug A Bunny was a complete and total LIFESAVER! My daughter was very colicy and it was the only place she would nap. And occasionally when she wouldn't sleep at night, I would put her in it and she would go right to sleep...she spent some nights in there.

And I know this may sound crazy, but she is a small one year old and she still takes her naps in the swing. If I made her go to her crib for a nap, I wouldn't get those glorious 3 hour breaks every day. And for some reason, the last 2 nights, she keeps waking up over and over freaking out in her crib and won't sleep. I am pregnant, as we all are, and I feel physically sick without sleep. So she has slept in her swing the last 2 nights Tongue Tied

The funny thing is her swing motor did break after 9 months, which I read is a problem with the Snug a Bunny, but I still don't regret buying it....it was worth every penny. And she still sleeps in there even though it doesn't move. But I will be buying a new one for the twins...possibly 2 if they both love it.

silvercamaro77 · February 2013

Sascha3:
I just wanted to say that the Snug A Bunny was a complete and total LIFESAVER!nbsp; My daughter was very colicy and it was the only place she would nap.nbsp; And occasionally when she wouldn't sleep at night, I would put her in it and she would go right to sleep...she spent some nights in there.And I know this may sound crazy, but she is a small one year old and she still takes her naps in the swing.nbsp; If I made her go to her crib for a nap, I wouldn't get those glorious 3 hour breaks every day.nbsp; And for some reason, the last 2 nights, she keeps waking up over and over freaking out in her crib and won't sleep.nbsp; I am pregnant, as we all are, and I feel physically sick without sleep.nbsp; So she has slept in her swing the last 2 nightsnbsp; The funny thing is her swing motor did break after 9 months, which I read is a problem with the Snug a Bunny, but I still don't regret buying it....it was worth every penny.nbsp; And she still sleeps in there even though it doesn't move.nbsp; But I will be buying a new one for the twins...possibly 2 if they both love it.

This is me on everything other than the twins! DD is sleeping 99 of the night in her crib now but if she gets up at 4 or something she doesn't go back to sleep easily as in even after holding/rocking for 30 mins she's still awake I put her in that swing and just push it. Within 10 mins she's usually back out and will usually sleep a while longer.

Ahtnamas6789 · February 2013

Ugh! I hate when people make a comment about good luck without an epidural, okay I know that it's going to be painful..I know. Please keep the comments about not being able to do it to yourself! My best friend has been saying that same thing to me over over again. I am now determined to do it with a damn smile on my face just to prove her wrong! Lmao we will see ; lol

Ahtnamas6789 · February 2013

Sorry for errors, mobile bumping.

Sascha3 · February 2013

silvercamaro77:
Sascha3:
I just wanted to say that the Snug A Bunny was a complete and total LIFESAVER!nbsp; My daughter was very colicy and it was the only place she would nap.nbsp; And occasionally when she wouldn't sleep at night, I would put her in it and she would go right to sleep...she spent some nights in there.And I know this may sound crazy, but she is a small one year old and she still takes her naps in the swing.nbsp; If I made her go to her crib for a nap, I wouldn't get those glorious 3 hour breaks every day.nbsp; And for some reason, the last 2 nights, she keeps waking up over and over freaking out in her crib and won't sleep.nbsp; I am pregnant, as we all are, and I feel physically sick without sleep.nbsp; So she has slept in her swing the last 2 nightsnbsp; The funny thing is her swing motor did break after 9 months, which I read is a problem with the Snug a Bunny, but I still don't regret buying it....it was worth every penny.nbsp; And she still sleeps in there even though it doesn't move.nbsp; But I will be buying a new one for the twins...possibly 2 if they both love it.
This is me on everything other than the twins! DD is sleeping 99 of the night in her crib now but if she gets up at 4 or something she doesn't go back to sleep easily as in even after holding/rocking for 30 mins she's still awake I put her in that swing and just push it. Within 10 mins she's usually back out and will usually sleep a while longer.

So glad I am not the only one!! If she wakes up too early I put her in the swing too, and she will usually sleep another 3-4 hours. She is a snug a bunny addict!

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