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Feeling some guilt after announcing

WhitWedWhitWed member
in Pregnant after a Loss
We are halfway, had a great a/s today, and found out we are having a boy!  I was thrilled to see a healthy baby and finally gave in and spread the news to family, friends, and facebook (most didn't know we were pregnant yet because I was too afraid to make an announcement).  Well, I received a lot of congratulations, which is fantastic and appreciated. But with some of the comments came people saying, "Woohoo for number 2" and things like that.  I felt overwhelming guilt for never having mentioned my loss to people. Technically this is baby #2 for us, but I don't want to forget what we lost. I feel weird saying it's baby #2 when it's actually baby #3 in my mind.  I know I lost my second pregnancy somewhat early on, but I still mourn that baby. Does anyone feel this way?  Don't get me wrong, I am truly happy, excited, and hopeful, but am feeling some PgAL guilt about actually hearing/saying the term baby #2.
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Re: Feeling some guilt after announcing

  • tdmd09tdmd09 member
    I feel a bit better now, but yes, I totally get it. Especially when people would ask if its my first pregnancy. It's actually my third pregnancy but it'll be our first child. I always felt like I was betraying my angel babies if I told people this was my first :
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    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
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  • babystolibabystoli member
    I totally understand. I am taking a prenatal aqua aerobics class. Someone asked last night if this was my first. I just said yes. But was thinking "2nd pregnancy, this one will hopefully go full term. Which is where I should be right now with the first."

    TTC since Feb 2012. Me: 39, DH: 37
    BFP #1 5/27/12- m/c 7/9/12 @ 10w2d (cytotec induced @11w).
    Fibroids, Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism
    BFP #2 11/18/12  EDD 7/27/13
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • adelida05adelida05

    Our first was born at 24 w 1 day and passed when he was 8 days old. 

    PGAL, I am TERRIFIED to announce to friends and family.  I am now 16 weeks, we will see high risk on Monday to determine when cerclage will be placed.  I find it very difficult to say this is my first, because it is NOT, but I also have no living children. 

    BabyFetus Ticker
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  • LilmrslayLilmrslay member

    This is why, when I announced on FB, I decided to provide some background. 

    I posted "After 2 years of TTC, and 2 angel babies, we are super excited ......".

    I know a lot of our friends thought we would never have kids, and didn't know we were trying, let alone that we had lost 2 babies. 

    I just didn't want the 'about time' or 'finally' comments. It isn't like we wanted to wait this long.  

    And I'm not embarrassed or ashamed to be open about what we have been through. Interestingly, only 2 people have even commented on the loss part of our post. All the rest have been congrats etc.  

    TTC Since March 2010 - 2 angel babies - BFP December 12 EDD 12 Aug 13 Lilypie Maternity tickers Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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