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Bad rep for blended families?

ambrvanambrvan member
in Blended Families
I wonder sometimes if this board accurately portrays blended families. I know we have a wide variety of situations and types of people/families here. But I would venture to say that most of us sought out this board, or stuck around once we found it, becaise we have or had issues in our situation. We were either in need of advise or support or somewhere to vent when things got stressful.

So maybe because of the nature of this board, it would be reasonable to assume that it might look like we are a bunch of over dramatic, whining witches.

Of course, we all know that is not the case for most of us anyway. Lol. But does anyone else ever think this?

As a note, I am not saying anything should change. This thread was merely an expression of thought inspired by another thread below about people talking about crazy BMs/BDs.

P.S. Please excuse typos. I am on my phone.
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Re: Bad rep for blended families?

  • J&A2008J&A2008 member

    I think this board attracts people who have difficulty with their blended families and need a place to vent or get ideas on how to cope. 

    Personally, I can say that if our BF issues with BM were the type that could be discussed in polite conversation, I probably wouldn't still be on here.

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
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  • HChadHChad member

    I don't post very much, being a SM with almost no contact with my SD.  I sought out a board like this to try and figure out the best way to support my DH in the escalating issues with his ExW in regards to their DD.

    I value and respect the opinions of everyone here.  We are all in different situations trying to make it work and be healthy.  I don't think anyone is trying to be over dramatic or witchy.  Everyone has a different experience.  I don't want anything to change, I've learned a lot from all of you and respect and appreciate your experiences and opinions. 

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  • awesomenus1341awesomenus1341 member
    imageJ&A2008:

    I think this board attracts people who have difficulty with their blended families and need a place to vent or get ideas on how to cope. 

    Personally, I can say that if our BF issues with BM were the type that could be discussed in polite conversation, I probably wouldn't still be on here.

     

    This. I posted just the other day about how hard it is to explain to someone not in a BF the frustrations, the battles, the give and takes, and finding a balance when so many emotions are so high. People get more riled up about their children than just about anything else in the world, so when that picture isn't the "perfect" scenario, emotions run high, and people who aren't in it, don't get it. I know I searched online for somewhere I could talk to people who had an idea at least of what I was going through before I found this board, and really, in comparison, this board is pretty mild. I found pages where step-parents were going on and on about hating or despising their SK's. I think this board has a lot of opinionated women, and not everyone agrees with what's right and wrong, important or petty, etc. But, it's a place where people at least have a common ground, and can vent or ask for advice from someone who has either been there, or who is an outsider looking in, and sometimes it helps just to type it out when you can't express that frustration out loud. It's awesome to hear from those people who have a great BF relationship with everyone involved, but I honestly think those cases are fewer and farther between.

    fbls


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • ambrvanambrvan member
    imageawesomenus1341:
    imageJ&A2008:

    I think this board attracts people who have difficulty with their blended families and need a place to vent or get ideas on how to cope. 

    Personally, I can say that if our BF issues with BM were the type that could be discussed in polite conversation, I probably wouldn't still be on here.

     

    This. I posted just the other day about how hard it is to explain to someone not in a BF the frustrations, the battles, the give and takes, and finding a balance when so many emotions are so high. People get more riled up about their children than just about anything else in the world, so when that picture isn't the "perfect" scenario, emotions run high, and people who aren't in it, don't get it. I know I searched online for somewhere I could talk to people who had an idea at least of what I was going through before I found this board, and really, in comparison, this board is pretty mild. I found pages where step-parents were going on and on about hating or despising their SK's. I think this board has a lot of opinionated women, and not everyone agrees with what's right and wrong, important or petty, etc. But, it's a place where people at least have a common ground, and can vent or ask for advice from someone who has either been there, or who is an outsider looking in, and sometimes it helps just to type it out when you can't express that frustration out loud. It's awesome to hear from those people who have a great BF relationship with everyone involved, but I honestly think those cases are fewer and farther between.



    You always say it so well.
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  • mom2onemom2one member
    I think the people who come on and post how evil their BM is for, say, daring to ask if the SM is pregnant make SMs look ridiculous. Seriously? Her child is having a new brother or sister. The mother should absolutely know this information. I actually think it's wrong she wasn't told before. Posts like THAT make blended families look stupid.
    Stay at Home Mama to 3 Beautiful Children by the miracles of Birth & Adoption
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  • HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member

    Personally I love this board because it is the first place I've found that people don't automatically assume that BM= perfect and BF = a$$hole. It also doesn't perpetuate the idea that Disney has created that ALL SMs = evil!

    We all come from various circumstances and listen to the details and most of the time (minus the trolls that I'll admit to having zero tolerance or patience with) offer very good advice or a different perspective to a poster that they may not have considered. You don't know..what you don't know and until you find a place like this you go through BF life sometimes with tunnel vision.

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  • Crook251Crook251 member
    imageMelRC117:

    No one is perfect. Obviously this board will draw out more drama because its the Internet...I'm not going to go to friends who don't have experience with an issue, especially when it's just a vent and them taking it for more than what it is. 

    I think some people on here expect people to never be able to vent about their situation, their BM/BF, SS, SD, DD, DS, DH, DW, ex, etc etc.  I think certain people like to take a holier than thou attitude on here. 

    I think some people need to understand what a "vent" is and take it as that and leave their opinions out of it unless asked. Then they will understand that they are not whining, just looking for a safe place to say how they feel without being judged.


     Married: Decemb    er 19, 2009
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  • Crook251Crook251 member
    imageHChad:

    I don't post very much, being a SM with almost no contact with my SD.  I sought out a board like this to try and figure out the best way to support my DH in the escalating issues with his ExW in regards to their DD.

    I value and respect the opinions of everyone here.  We are all in different situations trying to make it work and be healthy.  I don't think anyone is trying to be over dramatic or witchy.  Everyone has a different experience.  I don't want anything to change, I've learned a lot from all of you and respect and appreciate your experiences and opinions. 

    I agree!


     Married: Decemb    er 19, 2009
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  • sabrina69barnessabrina69barnes member
    imageJ&A2008:

    I think this board attracts people who have difficulty with their blended families and need a place to vent or get ideas on how to cope. 


    This. I also think this board retains members that truly want advice and insight on how to make their family successful. The families on this board are very different from the blended families I know or know of IRL.They tend be much more interested in doing things the correct way through the family court system. The SMs and their DHs here also tend to be much more involved than the majority of families I've met IRL.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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  • IlumineIlumine member

    I have been on three different Blended Families Boards.  Each one has/had a different flavor.  One was very pro BM, one was a StepMother Martyr haven and this one, where its ok for a BM to complain about their Husbands and Stepkids and the realities.

    A  board is nothing more than the group of people posting on it.

    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
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