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karatechrissy
member
"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
NBFR sometimes FB reminds me of HS
karatechrissy
member
So, we own a martial arts school. We had pictures taken of our adult students who are instructors at the end of summer. The guy who did them just finally posted a group photo of us. As with anything, we cannot guarantee that every single person can make their schedule work to be there. We are missing about 3 ppl in the photo. One of our students, who took a yr and a half off just came back the past month or so. She has her whole family enrolled and has been around our school the past 4ish yrs. Another parent who is her BFF doesn't take class but her children do. The BFF commented on our photo and said 'huh, missing some ppl...' And I replied that due to their schedules they were unable to make the scheduled shoot, and hopefully it works out next time. Also added in that the pic was taken over summer. Then she went on to point out all who were missing asking for explanations of their whereabouts. Sorry, lady... I'm not everyone's mom. We scheduled it, told everyone when to be there. Not my fault they didnt make it. Then the lady who is in our school just kept writing question marks on the photo. WTF is wrong with these ppl? They are grown women older than me and they both went on and on on this photo about missing people. I just wanted to tell them to get a freaking life. These two women have a habit of putting me down without saying things out right. They have posted rude status' about the vehicle I drive or they make snotty comments on pictures I post about me, but they are tongue in cheek where they can get out of being held responsible for it by putting a 'LOL'in there. I had a slow time of losing my baby weight bc I gained so much and the one woman who is not enrolled in our school herself, had a baby 6 months after me. She posted 2 weeks after she had the baby how amazing she was bc she was already back in her pre preg pants and not to be rude, but the woman was 300 lbs before she had the baby, it's not like she slimmed back down to a size 2 or anything and had the nerve to tag me in it! Now that I lost all the weight, and then some these two women are relentless. I posted a picture of myself working a trade show the other day, I do them on the side for some extra , and both wrote really mean status' about 'working mom's' and how only bad moms leave their babies. I consider myself a SAHM bc I do these shows infrequently and have only done a handful. I have a hard time leaving my babies for a few days once or twice a month already and they just won't leave it alone. They are our clients so I don't want to rock the boat and I would never confront them, but I don't understand why they are so mean and feel the need to pick on me. Don't they have anything better to do with their lives?? They are women in their mid 30's, did they ever grow up? I put them on a restricted list on FB, so I won't see their updates and I filtered it so they will not see mine anymore. Didnt block or remove them bc they would probably cause a scene or use that as an excuse to get out of their contracts. I just feel like I'm in HS all over again how ridiculous is this. Sorry so long. It's late and I'm annoyed...
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
This discussion has been closed.
Re: NBFR sometimes FB reminds me of HS
Good luck with the situation, I hope you realize that the above is not a criticism but just my two cents as someone that really loves martial arts.
full time stepmom to SS1 and SS2 since 2010
married since 2011
TTC since 7/2011 (no planned bc since 2008)
HSG 11/2011: one blocked tube
S/A 2/2012 and retest S/A 3/2012: normal
Bloodwork: normal
2nd HSG 5/2012: clear
Femara cycle 5mg #1 7/14/12 + IUI #1 7/23/12 = bfn
New RE appt 8/14/12
IVF #1 meds 8/30/12. ER 9/14/2012: 7 retrieved, 6 fertilized. ET 9/19/12: 1 perfect embryo 5dt.
Beta #1 BFP! 97
Beta #2 234
Beta #3 4937
ultrasound #1 heart beat 127
10/20/12 graduated!!!
EDD 6/7/12
Team PINK!!
I'm really sorry you're dealing with this!
I agree with a lot of what Littlejen said. A grandmaster and his wife run DS's academy, and while they are older (have 2 grown kids) I cannot imagine anyone treating them with even an ounce of disrespect.
The only thing I can suggest is that maybe, for these women, the lines are blurred and they think you are 'friends.' Even all the adults at DS's academy call the owners Mr. and Mrs. H***. We are friendly with them but only to the extent of the small talk you have in a business relationship.
Actually I would also suggest that they are really jealous of you and are the type of people that need to put you down to feel better about themselves.
Jen - I do practice. My husband and I met while being certified to teach when we were 18. I am a 3rd degree black belt and have been doing this for 11 years now. My avitar is me doing a side kick in Hawaii :-) One of the women got her black belt and the other woman is not in it at all, just her boys.
Our school is very 'family' oriented. We want our clients to feel like they are in a second home while at our school, so we are really close with most of the families there. We are strict but not to the point where it's like military. We are big on life skills and teaching courtesy and respect and enforcing these life skills not just in the school, but in every day life. We have our school on the outskirts of Vegas and in a small town, so it's one of those things where everyone knows everyone and their business. These 2 women are probably the only ones in the school that ever cause any kind of 'drama'. Just never happy with decisions that are made or what not. I also think age has a lot to do with it. My husband and I are both still pretty young, and I've had my fair share of adults who have treated me badly and been disrespectful to me because of my age. I have been in a more authoritative position since I was 16 yrs old and teaching an entire program on my own for my old school. My husband has owned this school since he turned 18 right out of high school. It was what he wanted to do with his life and he is very, very good at what he does. We are at a point where we aren't THAT young anymore, but still these women have about 10 years on me, and I think they just look at me like a little girl still, even though I'm in my mid 20's. When my husband was younger he had people come in and decide against taking class because they didn't want some 19 year old teaching them, but in all honesty, my husband is amazing. He has several world titles and has been invited to the olympics twice now. The first time he found out BM was pregnant and had to give up his spot. He was recently asked to go to south america to start training for the next olympics and we are considering it at this time trying to see what is the best decision for us. I have multiple state titles and have competed and been thisclose to getting a world title multiple times. I'm not the greatest out there, but I'd say I'm above average when it comes to this. Now that I'm done tooting my horn... I consider the people in our school extended family. They all know our kids, we have several families that their kids are friends with ours and we do play dates out side of karate. I'm learning though, that there is a fine line between business and friends, and I need to do a better job of drawing that line with some people.
Thanks for letting me vent, ladies. I was just so worked up last night and needed to get it out. Like I've said before, this board is my free therapy ;-)
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
This
It was a picture on our photographers page. He posted it and tagged our school page and all of us in the picture that he was friends with. So, it showed up in the school feed, even if we had restrictions it wouldn't have mattered in this instance. But I do see your point for the future. Thank you :-)
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
I can totally understand how it gets to you, but just put it in perspective. They're obviously insecure in themselves in some way.
You know you worked hard. You know you're a good mom and business woman. You do what you have to do to take care of your kids. Their opinions don't matter.
Let it go. THey best quote I've heard lately:
Do not pay attention to people who talk behind your back. That's where they belong. Just behind your back.
I agree that you should change your FB page so that perhaps people cannot post. Obviously, that won't change the photographer's page.
I don't know about Karate, but my son recently started Tae Kwon Do, and they take their 5 tenants very seriously. The first two are Courtesy and Integrity (the rest are perserverence, self-control, and indominable spirit). I would make it a policy (perhaps stated on the page) so that it is clear that comments on the page that do not support Karate's tenants (values, etc.) will be removed . Particularly if they are similar to those in TKD.
And Integrity means respect for SELF and others - - - if that is one of the core values of karate, so you need to be sure that you are requiring respect from your teachers, students, and karate family. You cannot teach values to students if you yourself do not live by them.