MH is an Ahole!

cookie280 · February 2013

I just needed to get this off my chest!
Ok but seriously, I'm so angry tonight because MH decided to go out for drinks with his coworkers an told me thru text on his way! And he had te nerve to say I hope you don't mind. Of course I mind... Go right ahead buddy, have tour fun! I mean I AM the one that has a baby attached to her 24/7 and I basically do everything for him... I don't get to go anywhere but my inlaws house and that's not because I enjoy it very much, it's only so I can get out the house before losing my mind!!! And please don't tell me that your stressed out or tired, because you're the one that comes home after work after interacting with human beings that don't poop non stop or spit up on you and can hold a conversation and either being on your laptop or reading your stupid comic books. God forbid you baby sit your son one day so I can get some decent sleep or actually go get my hair or nails done for a change....because you're afraid to be alone with him!!!!!!
And after all of this, you give me an effing attitude for being upset and go to sleep instead of making me feel better... let's face it I am being unreasonable because I'm jealous but you don't have to act like an a about it!!!! Ok vent over... Sorry you ladies had to put up with that, hopefully I can get some sleep tonight.

StephRN23 · February 2013

I'm sorry! I hope you get some sleep! MH went out with friends a couple weeks ago. It was planned, but it wasn't planned for him to stay out until 4am. Then he bragged about how the beer he was drinking was on special for $1.50 that night. So when I looked at the bank account, I saw he spent over $80. When I confronted him about it, his reply "you spent money when you went out with your friends the other day!". What!? I spent $15 and I had K with me!!

persephonerose · February 2013

Jealous or not, I do not think you are being at all unreasonable. If he thinks you are then he needs to rethink his position. He is lucky you are nice enough to let him sleep. If it was me I would show him just what unreasonable looks like.

vnstacie · February 2013

My H does the same thing, men don't think like us, they have to be told. I just told my H who got home at 430am because he went out with the guys that he needed to get LO1 breakfast, it's 7am. Hey! I text him at midnight and said "you know LO is going to wake up at 630am, whether you've slept or not."

also, it's not babysitting when it's your own child, it's just taking care of your kid. You need to just get up, get dressed and say "hey ill be back in an hour or 2." Don't let it turn into an argument, it's his baby too, he can help out before you go insane.

brooke&ryan&baby · February 2013

I'm sorry your H is being an asshat.

My DH works in a very social work environment and goes out for happy hour regularly which sucks.

The thing that jumps out to me is the word "babysit". I would always hear DH say ..."Oh I can't go Sunday, I have to babysit."

I finally had to flat out tell him that it isn't babysitting when it's your child. I also had to remind him that I don't get happy hours, work lunches, or 'water-cooler chat' and that I need a break sometimes too.

GL!

cookie280 · February 2013

Thanks ladies! I feel very overwhelmed and he doesn't realize that i need some time to myself. I hate that I have to ask but I guess i shouldn't just expect him to be that clever. It also gets me so upset when he makes comments about what "I do" all day.... as if I'm just hanging out at home just lounging around! He can be so insensitive. ahhh... men!

gnomemom · February 2013

You are totally allowed to be upset. It's super lonely and stressful being attached to a baby all day with no help or adult interaction. It is not acceptable for your DH to text you at the last minute and tell you he is going out. However, I can sympathize with him a bit. I work full time and my DH is a SAHD. A coworker asked me to lunch the other day, and while I always go home to nurse DS and relieve DH for a while, I really wanted to go. I was craving some adult socialization, and I was afraid if I said I couldn't go because of DS they would stop inviting me to things. We ended up planning something for another time, so it all worked out.

I'm not defending your DH; he made a mistake...but if this isn't a regular occurrence, I say cut him some slack. His life has drastically changed, too.

You say he's afraid to be alone with your LO. You guys need to start working on it. Help him to take responsibility, as he may be clueless about what to do. Talk frankly with him about his apprehension and let him start out taking care of LO in short sessions. Leave him with LO while you go to Target or the salon. If you come at him hot and angry, he might be less receptive than if you try to be understanding and work together as partners.

And PPs are right...it's not babysitting when it's your own kid! GL!

katigox · February 2013

I'm late to this thread, but had to chime in anyway ;P

I agree with PP that it's not babysitting to watch your own kid, and though my DH completely understood why the house isn't getting cleaned, or I'm not doing the dishes, etc., he still had the nerve to suggest when DS was one month, that he should invite his mom over to "help" me . . . I was like, "*IF* I need help, it should come from *YOU*" (and it wasn't even that he thought I needed help - it just turned out that he wanted more sleep . . . bc the eight hours of sleep I let him have after getting off an eight hour shift wasn't enough I guess *eyeroll*) <-- yup, I was "working" sixteen hours straight, before my DH could help. I honestly don't mind, I love being a SAHM - but not when he complains of being tired!

Now he helps me, by letting me get more sleep

Communication is key ~ talk with your DH, and good luck!

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