Attachment Parenting

Leaving LO overnight

We are debating leaving LO overnight on Sat. Well, really it would be from about noon on Sat through Sunday morning.

He still nurses, a lot. And would be missing out on his regular 5p, bedtime, overnight and am nursing. At least 4 sessions.  So my concern is two-fold - about him, and about my boobs.

We could pick him up at around 8-9p, his normal bedtime is 7p, and just put him to bed late. Or leave him at Grandmas and sleep in. Although possibly wake up leaking/uncomfortable. WWYD?



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Re: Leaving LO overnight

  • I left DD with grandparents at around 7.5 months. I pumped at 9:30 pm and woke up at 4 with leaky boobs. I pumpe again and then slept until 8. It was glorious sleep as she was very high needs and has never slept well. We have had about 3 more overnights since then but I was able to sleep through the night the last time as she has not been waking to eat often at night.
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  • If I were you I would probably just leave him overnight at Grandma's.  I left DD for the first time at 6 months at her grandparents.  She slept so well for them.  She is not a good sleeper for us at all.  I pumped right before I went to bed and then got up in the middle of the night (around 3:30- 4:00) to pump again.  I missed DD but it was so nice to have some decent sleep and not have her hogging the bed.
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  • I still couldn't imagine leaving DD. We are having a hard time getting her to sleep right now, we bedshare, and she has to nurse to sleep. Don't see how Granny could do any of that, although it would be nice to have a night to ourselves!

  • I'm feeling very conflicted. I've never spent a night away from him so I worry about him being confused. And we bedshare as well, and lately he's been nursing several times at night (like 3+) so I'm worried he will wake up and want me/boobs and be very upset. But I would also love 8hrs straight of sleep. Haven't had that since a few random fluke nights when LO was like 2m old.



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  • I had to pump morning and night when I was away at 18 months. DS survived - he wasn't happy, but he wasn't inconsolable. I had to be away for work, so it was non-negotiable.

    I'd plan to pump at least once at night, if I was you, for your own comfort. And I'd probably take the chance to sleep if you're comfortable that Grandma will give lots of cuddles.

  • Token - Grandma will definitely give lots of cuddles! And she's been begging for an overnight since before he was born so I'm sure she'll say yes before I finish asking. She has a bed set up for him already lol.

    H has also been gently suggesting it would be nice to have a night alone. So I think he would be happy too. 

    I'm just having some mommy guilt about feeling selfish/abandoning my baby for sleep. 



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  • A bit of mommy guilt is normal, and you'll probably have it no matter when your first night away is. It's okay to put yourself first once every couple of years. Wink Your baby will be well cared for and loved, and very very happy to see you in the morning.
  • LOL thanks Token! You are probably right about feeling guilty no matter when - and I appreciate it :)


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  • imagehannahhicks:
    I still couldn't imagine leaving DD. We are having a hard time getting her to sleep right now, we bedshare, and she has to nurse to sleep. Don't see how Granny could do any of that, although it would be nice to have a night to ourselves!

    Honestly, I have found that my DD actually goes to sleep much better for my mom.  I was SO nervous when I left DD overnight for the first time when she was 6 months old.  She also needed to be nursed to sleep, she sleeps in bed with us and she gets up several times in the middle of the night to nurse.  Guess what?  My mom was able to get her to sleep in 10 minutes by rocking her.  She slept in the pack and play that my parents had set up next to their bed in their bedroom.  She only woke up twice and my mom was able to put her down very easily by giving her a bottle.

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  • imagekbruington:
    imageskibunny59:

    imagehannahhicks:
    I still couldn't imagine leaving DD. We are having a hard time getting her to sleep right now, we bedshare, and she has to nurse to sleep. Don't see how Granny could do any of that, although it would be nice to have a night to ourselves!

    Honestly, I have found that my DD actually goes to sleep much better for my mom.  I was SO nervous when I left DD overnight for the first time when she was 6 months old.  She also needed to be nursed to sleep, she sleeps in bed with us and she gets up several times in the middle of the night to nurse.  Guess what?  My mom was able to get her to sleep in 10 minutes by rocking her.  She slept in the pack and play that my parents had set up next to their bed in their bedroom.  She only woke up twice and my mom was able to put her down very easily by giving her a bottle.

    The first time my son slept for his longest stretch of time was at my mom's. Little stinker sleeps better for her than me!

     

    Maybe I need to try this!! I would feel more comfortable leaving DD with my own mom, (if I had a cool mom that was more involved in our lives..but that's not the case.) MIL however is wonderful, does everything for us, and practically begs to watch DD. She even got a crib for her house before she was born. Of course she's never slept in it. I don't like the thought of her bedsharing with anyone else.. they aren't used to it, she could fall off, be rolled over, etc. And she doesn't take a bottle, just nurses and sippy cup in the day, so it just gives me anxiety! I've been waiting until she was more independent, or in her own bed, before trying. We will definitely have to have a couple sleepovers there before new baby comes. 

    ETA: Sorry, don't mean to be off topic of original post, just glad there are others going through the same things. MIL says her kids slept in bed with her and supports it, but some family members have other opinions. Maybe I won't feel as guilty leaving her, after I know the first night she does okay. 


  • I did it for about that amount of time at 18 months. I did cry on the way home because we got stuck in traffic and I just needed to nurse, but other than that it was really nice!

    We left her for 2 nights just a couple of months ago. That was harder. I did have to hand express then to relieve the pressure, but I had more fun since it wasn't such a new experience! 

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  • Think about the long term game a bit.  Getting a LO used to spending the night at Grandma's is a really, really good thing.  If you have a willing grandma, it's probably really good for the child and the grandma to begin establishing their sleepover routine when the child is still pretty small.  I say use a pump and go for it.

    You'll feel guilty no matter when you do the first overnight away from your child.  But you'll also LOVE it!  Even now that my kids are big, I still feel a little guilty when I leave them.  I've learned to keep my phone on me just in case, but NOT call and check in.  If I call too much, I just fret more.

    DH and I parked our oldest at my parents' when she was about 17 months so that we could... re-do our bathroom!!  So romantic, eh?  It was actually a good time to start overnight visits to the grandparents.   

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • Thanks everyone for all the positive stories!

    I told H today to tell Grandma, so there's no going back now lol. And then irrationally said "what if he doesn't miss me at all?!?!!" 

    I am looking forward to a solid nights sleep without getting kicked in the face by a toddler :)



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