handling backtalk — The Bump
Pre-School

handling backtalk

DD will be 4 in May and had always been a "spirited" kid. Now that her temper is getting under control, she is back talking all the time. Ignoring me and saying "I don't want to" and "if you keep asking, I' not going to do it!" It feels constant and worst whenever we are under some sort of constant, like getting dressed in the morning. It sounds like she's fresh at daycare too. Any tips for managing it? I have been trying to teach her about respect but that seems a little too abstract for her right now so I have also tried taking about how princesses act super into princesses right now when she's calm, but when we're in the midst of it is hardto keep cool. I feel horribly guilty for thinking this, but I feel like she's turning into the bratty kid I have alwaysjudged and I even feel envious of the parents who have such smooth drop offs/pick ups at school. I feel like I am failing. Help!!!
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Re: handling backtalk

  • Tell her what you want her to do, and consequence for not. "please put on your pants. Or I will put them on for you." our DD sometimes back talks but we always tell her "that is not how we talk". If you are very consistent it should improve.




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  • Ugh.

    I like the previous response. 

     We are also very firm with our expectations and a lot of the time ignore it or simply say "You may not talk so us that way".

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  • imageKKDRAGONFLY:
    Tell her what you want her to do, and consequence for not. "please put on your pants. Or I will put them on for you." our DD sometimes back talks but we always tell her "that is not how we talk". If you are very consistent it should improve.

    This is basically how I handled it, and it curbed my kids' sassy behavior pretty quickly. 

    I would say things like, "You know that's now how we talk in our family.  I'll talk with you when you speak in a nice and respectful voice."  Then ignore until the child's tone changes.  When she uses a nice and respectful tone, acknowledge it, but don't shower her with praise for it.

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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