March 2013 Moms

sex

so i hate to be "that girl" to bring it up but does anyone else have ZERO interest in having sex? I feel like such a cow that has no mojo left. I will be honest it has been like 6 weeks since we had sex and I am trying to pull it together so that this weekend I can make it up to DH.I feel awful bc I find him so sexy and handsome and I don't want to hurt his feelings! this is the longest in 5 years we have ever gone without some loving!!

I did decide that tomorrow I am going to groom and make myself feel like a human and then tomorrow night when he is getting ready for bed, I will light a few candles and seduce him ;) I will feel a lot sexier after my hair is done and my legs and lady parts are re-discovered HAHAHA!

 

anyone else in the same boat? I feel like I should try to be as "giving" as possible so that when I amount of commission he will be able to handle it.

Re: sex

  • My husband has actually just recently gotten wierd about it and couple weeks ago, he felt like because of being in my 3rd tri he might hurt me or our son.......pooor guy....I had to inform him other wise.
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  • I have to admit I'm with you on the zero sex drive! I feel huge and unattractive and just don't have any desire for sex right now, 
  • Meh. If you're not feeling like it, there's other stuff you can do besides sex.

    In general, though, I had a bacterial infection for most of my first and second trimester. I refuse to miss out on anymore sex. 

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  • Me.

    I'm just tired and everything hurts. DH also has a high sex drive. Ours don't mesh well even when I'm not pregnant. To be honest, most of the time we have sex I'm only half-there mentally, but I do it for DH. If I'm really not feeling it, I will turn him down, but if I waited for me to be "in the mood" we'd basically have sex once a month, maybe. It doesn't help that he leaves for work at 5am so the only time we have the chance is when I am worn down from being pregnant AND chasing my preschoolers all day. It also doesn't help that my hips hurt and I'm extremely dry lately.

    Anyway, I mostly keep it up because I know DH has a 6 week dry spell coming up, plus his "love language" is touch. Plus, as I said, he has a high sex drive, so when he doesn't get sex, he gets handsy and that can be irritating (we talk about it and he tries, but...). So, yeah, I put out so he'll keep his hands to himself for a day or two and I can get a break. Don't get me wrong, we've had enjoyable moments over the past few months, but...

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  • Me.  And the last time we had sex it hurt.  She is so low, and I'm dealing with this pressure every day, all day. I now have some lovely varicose veins down there, which makes me dread any sort of grooming, not to mention they hurt.

    But I also know how important it is to keep at it because it is supposed to help to keep everything properly stretched out  and the prostoglandins can help start up labor when the time comes... just so not in the mood with all things considered. 

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  • I don't have any interest in sex. It's become very uncomfortable and I have hours of contractions afterward. I still do it every week, but it's not my favorite thing. Once I hit 37 wks we will do it more cuz I want this kid out. 
  • I guess Im in the minority.. I want it all the time, more so than when Im not PG. Gotta love hormones! Lol Sex gives me contractions too though so Im trying to give my body a lil break..
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  • Its been a long time for DH and I too. He had pneumonia, then DS was pretty sick and up multiple times a night for a week or so, then I got sick. Now I feel like I can barely roll over in bed, let alone get down to business. Luckily, DH isn't too interested in sex during pregnancy anyway.
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  • Mine is low too. I felt bad and we tried it 2 weeks ago. It was uncomfortable and hard to find a position that worked for both of us. I too have a lot of pressure in my hips and pelvis. So I assume we prob won't try it until after unless we want to try and hurry delivery along

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  • No sex going on here and I'm perfectly fine with it. LOL! My husband is one of those that now that I'm preggers he sees me as a victim because I've had such miserable symptoms and ailments throughout the pregnancy. And because of all these discomforts, I don't want to do it either. He says that he's turned off his "switch" so he's not worried about it. As for me, my mind misses it but my body doesn't want to. Trust me...it's been a while.  

  • Haven't had sex in months! My hubby is convinced he will feel her head during the process, which terrifies and completely weirds him out to the point where he just can't do it. My baby has always been very low and since she's dropped it's been even harder. Men can be so weird and facts don't help.
  • We have sex about every 4-6 days, but not because I want to. I think I could have gone my entire pregnancy without having sex a single time. Its not because I feel huge, because I know its baby. But it IS hard to maneuver 30 extra LBS that I am not used to during the deed.

    I'm just flat out tired. All the time. I'm definitely prepared for being up all night with a new born!

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  • I was just taken off of pelvic rest TODAY, so I'm anxiously waiting for DH to come home tonight.

    The doctor had banned sex at the beginning of December, so I'm not going to lie, I'm a little nervous about coming off of retirement. Also, I'm a lot bigger than I was in December, so I hope DH is on board with the whole program. Can't say that I would blame him if he wasn't, but it would still hurt my feelings a little Crying

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  • I haven't had sex in months either. I want to do it, but I can't muster the energy. Plus I can't see my lady bits anymore to shave and DH really likes it groomed. Luckily he hasn't said anything about not gettin' any, he understands, But I still can't imagine what he's feeling!
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  • It has been 9 months without it for us.  After over a year of infertility, sex became a means to an end...not exactly an intimate experience.  During the last phase of IVF we couldn't have sex because of how everything had to be timed.  I had so many complications in the first month.  I was defined as high risk very early on and we were told to avoid sex.  Given that I am going to have a c-section, we are going to have to wait for at least 6 weeks after the baby arrives.  We have our lives to be together. Our intimacy comes from loving our son together, being a family, and looking forward to having another another baby together.  Sex has been way down on my list...and I haven't really had the energy or interest anyway.
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  • imageSarahRae85:

    Me.

    I'm just tired and everything hurts. DH also has a high sex drive. Ours don't mesh well even when I'm not pregnant. To be honest, most of the time we have sex I'm only half-there mentally, but I do it for DH. If I'm really not feeling it, I will turn him down, but if I waited for me to be "in the mood" we'd basically have sex once a month, maybe. It doesn't help that he leaves for work at 5am so the only time we have the chance is when I am worn down from being pregnant AND chasing my preschoolers all day. It also doesn't help that my hips hurt and I'm extremely dry lately.

    Anyway, I mostly keep it up because I know DH has a 6 week dry spell coming up, plus his "love language" is touch. Plus, as I said, he has a high sex drive, so when he doesn't get sex, he gets handsy and that can be irritating (we talk about it and he tries, but...). So, yeah, I put out so he'll keep his hands to himself for a day or two and I can get a break. Don't get me wrong, we've had enjoyable moments over the past few months, but...

     Wow, this is my DH and me exactly. I do have a little sex drive but it's always in the morning and DH is always already at work. And like you said the end of the day I'm just worn out and my hips are killing me.

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  • imageuctracy@yahoo.com:
    It has been 9 months without it for us.

    Same here.  I've dealt with physical problems (ie. pain) relating to sex previously, though.  The added sensitivity and dryness "down there" since conceiving doesn't improve anything.  Like, at all.  I can barely wash myself in the shower without cringing because of the sensitivity.  Sex would just be so miserable right now.

    I'm lucky to have such an understanding DH.  At one point we thought my issues would prevent us from having kids altogether, so now we"re expecting, I think he realizes just how lucky we are to be having a baby at all... even with the lack of sex as a result! 

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  • imagecbb722:

    anyone else in the same boat? I feel like I should try to be as "giving" as possible so that when I amount of commission he will be able to handle it.

    It comes and goes for me. Lately I'm hornier than DH which is not fun... I think he is weirded out by the bump and afraid of feeling the baby move or upsetting the baby.

    To get "in the mood" I definitely recommend grooming, and whatever else you need to feel pretty. Then spend a few minutes either fantasizing or reading something juicy like the good part in a romance novel or one of those books that is just a compilation of short erotic stories.... Whatever gets you going.

    It's been much harder in the 3rd tri, the first time we tried I didn't realize how big I'd gotten since it had been a little while and it was a fail No  I got tired and out of breath halfway through because the position that worked in the 2nd tri was too taxing. What's been working lately for both my energy and his baby hangups is lying on our sides (spooning). Depending on what feels best you may end up in more of like a scissor formation, but the cool thing is you can still have control, just move until you like the angle. It works for us because I can rest, and I don't feel like my belly is in the way, and then he's more comfortable because he's not staring at (or bumping) my belly. Hope that helps!

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  • I want to have sex with my husband. I love him more now that i'm pregnant than ever before. But I experienced some inexplicable bleeding on New Years Eve,.spent the night in the hospital and the doctor said in front of my husband not to insert anything into my vagina. So my husband won't have sex with me unless I get a note from my doctor saying it is okay. :
  • Both DH and I usually have fairly low sex drives and that has always worked for us. However, in my 2nd tri, my sex drive went WAY up! We were getting busy a lot more often than usual. Sadly, since baby dropped three weeks ago, I've had so much pain in my pubic area that I am not interested in doing the deed at all. The pressure everywhere has also increased and I just overall feel yucky and uncomfortable.

    I've mentioned to DH that I would like to have some fun with him and he keeps saying that it's not fair to me that he wouldn't be able to reciprocate (I'm on rest, not strict bed rest, but rest all the same. I think he thinks I should be on pelvic rest. He's afraid of hurting me more). So whatever. As long as he doesn't mind, I'm not going to push it because I'm just not interested anyway. lol

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  • It's been since last May for us, with the exception of three times since August. We went through IVF and weren't allowed to for a while then I was on progesterone suppositories and that was just nasty. When we finally tried to it hurt so bad I had to make him stop. The last two times I basically laid there waiting for him to be done because it hurt.

    I haven't had the drive at all and DH has been great about the whole thing plus he knows now that my hips hurt all the time and he just focuses on making me feel better.

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  • Sadly, I'm in the no sex boat as well, but not by choice. The last time DH and I were intimate was Sept 11, 2012 - The night before he deployed to Afghanistan.

     

    If he were home I would like to think we'd be having sex all the time as my sex drive is way up, but sadly we don't have that option. But that doesn't mean we are without options. Skype is a great way to retain a little bit of intimacy and it's nice to know that even with a big old belly I can still visibly excite him. 

  • same boat here..... I want it and so does DH but when we try it hurts and is so uncomfortable I don't even enjoy it. I cannot wait until this baby comes out.. LOL
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  • Right there with you, I feel so unattractive. And in turn I feel so guilty for neglecting the DH. Ready for the LO to be here so we can get back to normal...well as norms. As possible with a newborn!
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