Adoption
greenteabee
member
Not sure how to move forward...
greenteabee
member
in Adoption
Okay so in my case the boys are already here, and I'm not really sure how to move forward with getting to know the PAPs... Do I take the boys with me if I go meet them? Or do I keep the boys away so they don't get attached, or what? I am so confused on how to move forward. I'm meeting with my agency in two weeks about where we're going from here and they said on the phone that it's my choice when to let the PAPs meet the boys.
Just kinda venting a bit, little bit looking for opinions/adivce.... My boys are sleeping right now, and I'm about to go sleep. Hope everyone's doing good.
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Re: Not sure how to move forward...
I'm not adopting domestically, so, you know, but I think I wouldn't take them. The PAPs will be doing their darndest not to get their hopes too up, and little babies! Even though I'd really want to meet them, I think I would fall in love despite myself, you know?
fwiw... So glad y'all are doing well.
Application approved Dec '11
Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
Homestudy complete July 19
USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
Come home, baby A!
Hope you are feeling well!
I would give it the two weeks and see how you're feeling. If at that point, you feel like you need to see the babies with the PAP, then go ahead and take them. That might help you make a decision either way. I know my son's birth mom needed to see me in "Mom Mode" before she could make a final decision.
You are kind to be sensitive to their emotions, too. This isn't easy for anyone, but I respect how well you are handling the situation.
I was planning to wait the two weeks before doing anything, the next few weeks it's gonna be just me and the boys. Right now I'm pretty sure about placement, I'll see how I feel when I get them home.
The agency said that usually the APs just meet their baby once or twice before placement (If the placement is after the baby is born) but that I could do whatever I'm comfortable with.
My mom would watch them any time after she gets back from her vacation, but tbh It'd probably be easier to bring them because I'm breastfeeding.
Application approved Dec '11
Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
Homestudy complete July 19
USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
Come home, baby A!
Honestly, I would do whatever is easiest for you logistically and emotionally. I really think there isn't a "right" answer to this question, which probably makes it even harder.
I'm so glad to hear that you and the boys are doing well! I have loved following your story since I haven't prior had a glimpse into an EM's world as things are happening. Thank you so much for sharing this side of the triad which is so important for people to be cognizant of.
Could not have said it better myself. Sending you and the boys ((((HUGS)))).
I agree, so glad to see you are doing well!