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April 2013 Moms
rayofsunshine99
member
Anyone considering permanent birth control after this?
rayofsunshine99
member
MH and I were talking the other night about whether or not we're done having kids after this. I do feel content and like yes, we are done and H has always said he wanted 2 kids. But taking any permanent measures still seems like a big step because we don't know how we'll feel in a few years.
I'm also not a fan of hormonal birth control because of how it can eff with your body.. I just wish there was a semi-permanent solution and we could re-evaluate and decide later if we want to make it permanent. (I know that vasectomies and tubes being tied *can* be reversed but they're not meant to be and conception is still hard once you've had the procedure and then had it reversed... and as it is I only have one fallopian tube)
Anyway, are you taking a permanent step for b/c after this? If so, how did you know you are ready & done?
Edit: typo
Mommy to
Tyler (10/29/08)
and Lily (4/21/13)
Tyler (10/29/08)
and Lily (4/21/13)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anyone considering permanent birth control after this?
DH and I have discussed this and have decided he will get a visectomy after we have one of each sex or three kids, which ever comes first. I can't imagine changing my mind in the future. I've always had the desire to be done with childbearing before I turn 35 and I can't imagine that ever changing.
If you're on the fence there are non-hormonal IUDs... I don't know a lot about them but it might not hurt for you to do some research on them if you're still undecided.
DH really wants me to get my tubes tied during the CS, as we are 2 and done, however, I just physically/mentally cannot do it. He won't do a vasectomy, so I've told him then we will have to figure something out. Like you, I'm not a fan of the hormonal bc, been there done that for a long time. Our only issue is that I can pregnant just by looking at me, however, if DH won't do a vasectomy, then he has to be understanding as to why I won't get my tubes tied.
I've heard great things about Mirena, although I haven't done any research into it. Sorry I'm no help.
I'm with you on this. I was on a low dose pill forever and then as I got older, I guess my hormonal balance changed and in turn changed how I responded to it. Which ended up not being a very good thing, messed w/my moods/head etc. So, I'm really hesitant to go that route again.
Don't really want anything permanent. And then, I keep hearing about horrible experiences w/Mirena. Nuvaring would be in the running, but I've had friends say it's fallen out on them. *sigh* I'm really at a loss at this pt as to what I want to do.
That's kind of how I feel too... that I wanted one of each, or if I had 3 all the same sex, that I would want to be done there and be content. I guess I'm just scared of feeling differently later or regretting making a permanent decision.
I did know about the non-hormonal IUD but there are still a bunch of side effects that can come with them.
Tyler (10/29/08)
and Lily (4/21/13)
we are done and this is MY first.
He has a 9 yr old son from previous and now we are having a girl. I have always known that he was only wanting to have one more for the past 5 years that we have been together, and I am okay with that considering we have the 9 yr old too.
We have talked about possibly wanting more if we were younger but that's something that can not be changed. He is 39 and I am 32.
I wouldn't want to, nor could afford to have them back to back, and waiting another 3+ years just isnt feasible... soooo with that being said we will opt for the vasectomy.
From what i understand it can even be done in a doctors office without any cutting ( or so says a friend of ours, have yet to research ourselves) - but I am with you, I do not want to stay on any type of birth control if not necessary. Love that it regulates my period so much, but long term, not for me. Will get back on the pill until we can get him taken care of, but hoping to have it accomplished this year.
I was an only child so i guess that helps not knowing the difference, but hopefully this little one and her big brother will be close when they are older!
One of my friends was on the Nuvaring and she got a blood clot in her leg from it. You probably know already but blood clots are a scary thing and potentially fatal. There's currently a big law suit against them because so many people have gotten blood clots... I have no idea how it's even on the market still.
Tyler (10/29/08)
and Lily (4/21/13)
I told my Dr I wanted my tubes tied since i'm not single with soon to be four... but she does not want to do that because i'm "only 30" only 30?? i wanted to be done with having babies by 32 at the latest.. I freaking started at 17 and due to migraines I can't do the pill. I hated the Marina and the ring the depo works well but she will only do it for 3 years at a time max then it has to be stopped and i have to do something else... so i've kept my mind open to the norplant. its a five year arm implant haven't heard a lot about it i still need to do research.
Yikes! That's horrible! Ok, another one off the list. It's looking more and more like V-day for DH! LOL!
Considering but on the fence at this point. DH and I wanted 2 kids but aren't opposed to 3, but the issues for us are #1 finances coupled with #2 me getting old. Thing is, if either weren't an issue, I'd say let's do 3, 3 is good, but by the time #1 will be better, #2 will be an even bigger issue. (Basically, long term financially we'll be okay once I get back to work, but since I'm a SAHM when our daughters are little, that can't happen and DH doesn't make much, so I work part time from home to help us get by, but not enough to make a real dent in our financial situation. But we both know that it's more important for me to be there with our kids, esp. since we live in an area that if I were just working part time for now, the cost of child care would be more than I would earn.)
So right now we basically are doing the wait and see, because there could be some completely unexpected change in our financial situation and we might be able to swing #3 before I'm just *ancient*, but we've never had a real issue with hormonal BC before, so I'm fine doing that in the interim for a few more years.
After that, we keep the door open for more kids via adoption/fostering to adopt.
But as far as a permanent solution, I've always told DH he's getting snipped as the risks are way lower for him than for me, and since I've had 2 surgeries (unrelated to pregnancy), multiple other weird medical issues, and will have birthed him 2 bebes, he can take one for the team to do this.
Only thing holding him back is BIL. (Sis's DH). She say's they're DONE (after 2 and she's 4 years older than me so she's already in the "advanced maternal age" category) but he is refusing to get a vasectomy. Part of it is he wants more kids but a bigger thing I think is he associates his manhood with his semen or something stupid like that.
Our dad had one after I was born and our DH's know this, but my sis is still heavily and publicly campaigning to have her DH snipped now, and she asked an old family friend if he had one (over lunch--awkward, sis?) and to her surprise (and disappointment) he said no. So I am not sure where she's going to find more men to make her case, but she's looking. (BIL's older brother didn't need one because his wife had C-sections each time and the last one, they tied her tubes due to some medical complications.)
We used condoms for 2 1/2 years after DS was born and while it wasn't totally ideal, it was okay. Then we were TTC for the next 15 months so no b/c needed and now, obviously I've been pregnant since July.
One of my friends was looking in to getting these small clamps for your fallopian tubes that are put in via laparoscopy so only 2 super small incisions. They aren't meant to be temporary, but if you happened to decide later to have another, the success rates are much higher than if your tubes were tied or a vasectomy reversal. I should look in to that maybe... Just scares me only having one tube.. like if it could potentially damage the one I have left or increase my risk for another ectopic etc.
Tyler (10/29/08)
and Lily (4/21/13)
They should seriously make hormonal b/c for men. Haha. Let them be the ones to have their bodies effed with if they don't want to get anyone KU.
Tyler (10/29/08)
and Lily (4/21/13)
No kidding! You get a huge AMEN from me on this one
Little Sister on the Way 04/23/2013
Not right now, because this is our first and we've always wanted three. When the time comes, DH will have a vasectomy. From what I understand, the medical procedure relating to a vasectomy is much less invasive, with a shorter recovery time, than having your tubes tied, so it makes sense to take that route. By vasectomy time (likely after our third kid), we will be very unlikely to change our minds because we will be in our mid-late thirties.
In the meantime, I think we will just stick to condoms. I am not a fan of hormonal birth control at all. We want to have our kids 2-3 years apart, so to me, it won't be all that much time using condoms between pregnancies.
BFP #1: 08/17/2012 DD1 born 05/01/2013
BFP #2: 07/31/2015 M/C 09/23/2015 (11.5 weeks)
I know that going on the Nuva Ring (or any type of b/c, including the copper/non-hormonal IUD) doesn't mean you will have issues but they come with the potential or risk of them. Just like lots of people drive with out their seat belts or drive drunk for that matter and "are just fine" but it doesn't mean it's perfectly safe.
I know it's not exactly the same thing but a lot of people throw around "I did it and I never had any issues" as if that means something. I know of mom's who smoke during pregnancy and have healthy babies, so then they say "I smoked during my entire pregnancy and my baby was just fine"... doesn't mean the risk doesn't exist. 
My parents tell me how they brought me home from the hospital on their lap and I'm just fine too. 
Tyler (10/29/08)
and Lily (4/21/13)
I had the non hormonal IUD before but didn't like it.
I am not a fan of hormones either, but I think I will go with Mirena this time around.
Right now, I am 200% sure I'm done having kids, but I'm still young (ish) and figure I could still change my mind. I am not planning on it, but still. I think I will go the Mirena route for now, and then if we still don't want to add to our family 5 years from now, I think we'll both get snipped.
There actually is a way to have hormonal birth control for men. It's even been used in France. However, most men think that if you reduce sperm production, you affect testosterone production which isn't necessarily true.
TTC #1 since May 2010. BFP #1 - 5/31/10; m/c on 7/22/10
Started seeing RE in August 2011
5 IUIs: BFN; IVF #1 - Success! BFP - 7/25/12
+1!!
I had a Mirena for 9+ years (changed after 5) with no problems what so ever, including no periods so there is no question that I am going with that again. I considered getting my tubes tied after my youngest who's 9 but my dr wouldn't do it at 24 so I tried the Mirena and now can't imagine using anything else.
There are side effects to every type of b/c and some people are very sensitive to the thought of them so I would say that this really is personal preference and trial and error.
Not sure where you live, but my understanding is that the norplant is no longer available in the US.
Also, FWIW, I'm 27 and this is my first so I'm likely NOT done having kids but right now I'm strongly considering Mirena after I have this baby. My only pause is that one woman told me that when she had hers in, her husband said he could feel it "poking" him during intercourse! I will go over my options more with my GYN.
Ok Ray, you know me well enough to know this is going to be long winded
I am 99.99999% sure that this is my last baby. I always said that I would be ok with 2-3 kids and that if we had 2 of the same sex we would try for a third. But I hate being pregnant. I am just not that woman that enjoys having her body taken over by a parasite for 9 months. Only to pop it out and have it own her breast for the next year. I understand it's a blessing, and I'm very lucky to be able to experience it. But my experience includes a lot of horrible things that I never want to go through again. So 2 is our limit.
On the flip side of that, you never know what life is going to bring or where it's going to take you. 2 years ago I would have told you I was considering only having one baby (because the first pregnancy and L&D were so hard on me). We were originally planning on having a vasectomy. And while this might still be what we do, we've decided to give it a couple of years. We know a couple right now where the husband was previously married, he'd had his 2 kids, got snipped and then years later they got divorced. Kids are a deal breaker for his new wife. So he's having a reversal done, they still may have to do fertility treatments and it's really something they struggle with. I like to think that Fritz and I will be together for the rest of our lives, but things change. People grow apart, people die, etc. If something happened to Fritz and in a few years I met a great guy, but having one more kid was a deal breaker for him, I would probably try for one more baby. And if something were to happen to me or if we were to get divorced, I don't feel like I have the right to take that option away from him and his future spouse. Wherever he is in the future. I don't think I would get my tubes tied for him, why should he do something just as permanent for me.
And as for making the decision now. I'm huge and pregnant and just feel overall done with being pregnant. And Dh is starting to recall how hard the first few months were with Landon. Right now, in this moment neither of us wants more than 2. But when Landon was 2 months old we were so exhausted Fritz just looked at me and said, "Maybe we should just have one. This is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be." But here we are again. So we are going to wait a couple of years. I think I'm going to get an IUD for now and then once the boys are older and the experience of pregnancy and newborns has worn off a bit, we'll reopen the topic. DH is still pretty sure he'll want the vasectomy, but we don't want to make any knee jerk reactions to how we are feeling now in this moment. Plus the finality of being ok with this being my last baby vs taking the option for more children away is a pretty heavy burden. Even if we aren't planning on having more. It's nice to know that we can.
You fill me!!! Z! My BFP Chart
You fill me!!! Z! My BFP Chart
All hormonal birth control methods have increased risk of some things, including blood clots, stroke, heart attack and others. The risks while on them, however, are lower than when pregnant. Not trying to scare you about those risks during pregnancy, but simply pointing out that being on birth control even with those higher risks puts you at lower risk than if you were to become pregnant due to not using them. The risks associated with all hormonal birth controls is about the same, although certain studies have shown slightly higher risks of some of the methods over others. Those methods, however, are still deamed safe and effective by the FDA and the clinical studies associated with them.
Law suits will be filed against drug makers regardless of science however as this is a litigious society and people go after the big money and juries love to take pharma money and give it to sick people. Cheers! There's my pessimistic rant of the day.
Juries also love conspiracy theories and "bad babies" regardless of whether the doctor, hospital, etc. actually did any wrongdoing.
Awww your husband is a keeper
We're 95% sure that DH will have a vasectomy. But if he doesn't, I'm going to get a Paragard (non-hormonal IUD). I had this between DD#1 and TTC and it was a get fit for me. Unfortunately, I did have the side effect of heavy periods and more cramping. But those side effects were worth it for sure. I can be a bit of a biiiactch on hormonal birth control, and the Paragard side effects were only bothersome for 1-2 days per month.
FWIW, I was "done" have DD#1 and seriously considered vasectomy then too, but I changed my mind. This pregnancy has been really hard though and I don't think I can go through this again.
MC: 03/2012
BFP: 8/11/2012
We can't wait to meet our Blake Katherine!!