Ready for this day to be over. (vent)
Poochie22
member
To bring everyone up to speed: yesterday I received a prescription from my OB and a letter saying that my Iron is real low so he put me on Iron supplements. No big deal. DH told me I just need to eat more foods with iron in it (well duh).
OK so today I told my DH I was having a rough day and that I just want to come home from work and do absolutely nothing. We are currently at my IL's before we can move into our home. MIL made sweet potato fries, blueberry muffins, Chicken and Mexican soup. I had everything except the soup. DH pours me a bowl and says I have to eat some, because it has beef and beans in it (Iron filled products). I agree I need this stuff but I am allergic to seasonings (I get migraines) so MIL made me chicken. DH asked, "Do you want our baby to come out too early?", "Do you want him to be healthy and perfect?" I just sat there and said nothing, trying not to cry. I couldn't say anything except that I have a prescription to help my Iron. He said I don't have the pills yet and he doesn't understand what the problem is. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't know me at all. So we just sat there and ate dinner in silence.
I hate feeling like if the baby comes out early or isn't a "10" then it is my fault. I am doing everything I can for this baby. I am the mother, I wouldn't want anything but the best for my little boy. Just my DH asking those questions, I can't keep it together anymore. He doesn't understand how hard it is to grow a child, I already have a whole bunch of guilt just because I have low Iron, I don't need it thrown in my face. Sorry vent is over.
Re: Ready for this day to be over. (vent)
It's good that he seems to care about the pregnancy but that's not good that he's guilting you over things. I think you probably just need to have an open conversation where you tell him what you wrote in the last paragraph. He might not be making the connection that his comments are making you feel like you're carrying the weight of your baby's health on your shoulders.
With the iron thing waiting a day to get the pills isn't a huge deal. My provider didn't tell me for a week after I took the test and had low levels so I would assume it's not a huge deal. Now that I've started supplementing I've had a lot more energy and feel a lot better so I hope they make you feel good too!
The baby is going to take everything it needs from you. You are the one who suffers the deficiencies, not the baby. Yes, you need the iron, but the reason you are anemic is because baby is taking all your share and leaving you with not enough. The only way the baby will not get enough is if you are completely deficient in it and there isn't enough for either of you, but that is unlikely, especially if you weren't anemic prior to getting pregnant.
Don't feel guilty. You DH is trying to help in his way, but making you feel guilty about it isn't helpful.
TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption!
Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!
BFP #1: 5/10/12; 5/22/12: pregnancy deemed not viable (probably CP)
BFP #2: 8/2/12; Due date: 4/14/13, DD born 4/5/2013
BFP #3: 11/2/14, Due date: 7/7/15
This!
Sorry you've had such a rough day! Being low on iron is definitely not fun. It makes you so tired and barely able to function. I have terrible iron deficiency anemia. I saw my hematologist yesterday and I have to start IV iron infusions tomorrow because my levels are so low and I don't absorb iron orally.
My doctor reassured me over and over again that baby is fine. Everything is looking great when it comes to him it's just me that's struggling big time. As mentioned above, baby is taking everything from you so now they just have to work on getting you to feel better!
Just keep reminding yourself that you are doing everything right and I hope you start feeling better once you get your iron levels up! Hang in there.
Thanks for the unnecessary guilt trip douchewad.
A little research goes a long way. You're not hurting your LO by being anemic - you're the one being affected. LO takes what s/he needs and YOU are the one left feeling drained because there's not enough for YOU.
So the iron is for YOU. Your DH can shove it up his ass.
This just makes me mad on your behalf, and I'm not sorry. Maybe he should think for a minute - maybe do a little research - before he starts his diarrhea of the mouth.
// I love you too. //
Thank you everyone, I just took a nap and I am feeling a little better. DH is usually really supportive and everything. I think that he just wants our little man to be as healthy as can be. He does seem to stick his foot in his mouth, but has been good recently (until today). I should have known it was going to happen sooner or later but usually it is to someone else. I will have to talk to him on how I felt when he said that because it isn't right for me to feel like whatever is wrong with the baby is my fault. I have been feeling really tired and unable to function the last week, so I think he thinks that LO feels the same way. But again, instead of snapping at me with little research, I will talk to him and ask him to think before he speaks.
As far as my allergies go, I am allergic to many things, it actually really stinks. I am allergic to MSG like a PP stated any pork products (ham, pork, bacon) you know, all the good stuff. Many cheeses trigger me and some seasonings and caffeine. I can usually indulge in some of these things if I have a little at a time (chocolate or Pepsi).
Again, thank you for the comments I really needed to see it wasn't my fault and that some women just get low Iron. Also that not taking the iron supplements right away is not a huge deal.
Glad you're feeling better. Your husband is lucky you're his wife and not I because I'm not afraid to call 'em as I see 'em, lol.
Maybe you guys could sit down together sometime and research both how pregnancy nutrition works in general and also how pregnancy-related iron deficiency anemia works. A shocking number of people remain uneducated on some pretty simple stuff throughout the pregnancy because doctors assume you'll ask the questions - but you don't know what questions to ask!
You and your husband could probably both benefit from going over a few health and pregnancy sites, at least, so that there aren't anymore (or many more) upsetting...communication issues in regards to your pregnancy.
Good luck!
// I love you too. //