I Feel Defeated (Kind of Long)

LeslieH07 · January 2013

Hello Ladies,

I feel a bit defeated. About a week and a half ago, I watched "The Business of Being Born" and it was at that point that I decided I wanted a water birth. I turn 6 months today (I know that I'm late; no judegement please). I always new that I wanted a natural birth without any meds but now I decided that I wanted a water birth in the hospital.

I live in NY and found a nice midwife with the help of you ladies but now I find out that the hospital does not take my insurance. =( My insurance will only pay 50% of the cost and I have to pay the other 50. I'm just so sad. This is the only hospital that does water birthing in my area. I tried contacting two midwives in the NYC which is far for a woman in labor to travel but in desperation I did to find that they are booked.

I don't know what to do. This is my first baby and I want it to be special and be the way I plan for it to be. I know anything can happen and things can change from me giving birth in the water anyway but I would like to go into it feeling comfortable about my decision. I know a lot of you do home births but I live in small apt and I would feel more comfortable being in a hospital for my first birth for precaution. I just feel so defeated...

cheesecakerunner · January 2013

Don't feel defeated! I really wanted a water birth at a birth center, but like you insurance didn't fully cover it so it is off the table. I was able to find aNB friendly hospital and midwife and started Bradley Method classes, so I still feel like I'm going to get the calm birth experience I wanted, even though it will bee on dry land. Explore other options!

bunnie712 · January 2013

What about a hospital with the ability to labor in the tub, but not deliver in the tub? I found laboring in the tub incredibly helpful, but by the time it came to pushing I wasn't as interested in being in the water. That was just my experience which may not be that common.

aylafsu88 · January 2013

Do not feel defeated! You can do this and everything will work out. I know that you want a water birth but what about just laboring in the tub? I labored in the tub and started to push in the tub. I had to deliver on the bed because the hospital I used did not allow water births. I enjoyed laboring in the tub and it really did help ease my contraction pains. It was not big deal to transition to the bed to deliver LO. In the end I was happy I was in the bed because I got the shakes after birth so I think moving around right away would have been difficult. Plus I could just lay in bed and cuddle LO. Maybe you could do something similar and labor in the tub but then transition to the bed for delivery.

Nechie122 · January 2013

Have you looked into the Roosevelt birthing center? You can't deliver in the tub but you can labor in it. I had a great experience there.

Just out of curiosity: which hospital did you find in the NY area that does water births?

starshineamator · January 2013

Do you have any idea how much that amounts to? Because 50% might end up actually being not bad? I would try to get some actual numbers. It might be something that you can swing.

alcammor · January 2013

Look at St Luke's Roosevelt on the upper west side. They have a birthing center but even their regular rooms have tubs (they are not large tubs but might be better in the birthing center versus the regular l & d floor)

Good luck! I had my first did there.

kathleen02 · January 2013

I love the water. Seriously. I thought I really wanted to labor and birth in the tub...you know what? When it came time to labor I actually didn't enjoy it like I thought I would. I actually preferred the shower much more. Does your current hospital allow you to at least labor in the water? Some don't offer water births but many allow women to labor still.

breathlife · January 2013

starshineamator:
Do you have any idea how much that amounts to? Because 50% might end up actually being not bad? I would try to get some actual numbers. It might be something that you can swing.

.. And depending on your situation and how important the water birth is to you, find about the hospital payment plan. Not sure about the rules in NY, but in our state as long as you make a payment each month you cant be penalized for the payment amount .. Not that you want to be in debt to the hospital but it might be something to consider

KateLouise · February 2013

My first thought reading your post is that this birth WILL be special, regardless of the logistics surrounding it.

Is there a particular reason for wanting the water birth? Is it for potential physical benefits? it feels "nicer"/more relaxed/some other emotional connection? I'm thinking if you can identify what it is that appeals, then maybe ladies here can make suggestions on other ways to achieve your aims.

FWIW I've had two very different births. One in a hospital and one at home (unintentionally) and they were both special, and memorable in their own way.

I'm always excited for FTM because I LOVE giving birth and I think it's a wonderful thing to get to experience. I hope you can find a solution that you feel comfortable and happy with.

jellybeanjean · February 2013

Where in NY are you located? Are you north of the city (you said NYC was far...)?

ILoveRunning · February 2013

breathlife:
starshineamator:
Do you have any idea how much that amounts to? Because 50% might end up actually being not bad? I would try to get some actual numbers. It might be something that you can swing.
.. And depending on your situation and how important the water birth is to you, find about the hospital payment plan. Not sure about the rules in NY, but in our state as long as you make a payment each month you cant be penalized for the payment amount .. Not that you want to be in debt to the hospital but it might be something to consider

I wholeheartedly disagree with this. I don't mean to discourage to the OP, but things can happen and a less-than-natural birth can result in a large hospital bill that would not be affordable for the average. A typical c-section (and I am not suggesting the OP will end up with one) without complications can run $30-40,000.

OP, try not to let this discourage you. I agree with other PP that you should continue to look around and examine your options. What actually helps an individual in labor varies, and you might decide that you don't even want to labor or birth in a tub. If you want a natural birth, my best advice is to find a provider you trust and truly supports you and your goals. That way, when the time comes, you know they will be on your side.

lexyraejay · February 2013

LeslieH07:
Hello Ladies,
I feel a bit defeated. About a week and a half ago, I watched "The Business of Being Born" and it was at that point that I decided I wanted a water birth. I turn 6 months today (I know that I'm late; no judegement please). I always new that I wanted a natural birth without any meds but now I decided that I wanted a water birth in the hospital.
I live in NY and found a nice midwife with the help of you ladies but now I find out that the hospital does not take my insurance. =( My insurance will only pay 50% of the cost and I have to pay the other 50. I'm just so sad. This is the only hospital that does water birthing in my area. I tried contacting two midwives in the NYC which is far for a woman in labor to travel but in desperation I did to find that they are booked.
I don't know what to do. This is my first baby and I want it to be special and be the way I plan for it to be. I know anything can happen and things can change from me giving birth in the water anyway but I would like to go into it feeling comfortable about my decision. I know a lot of you do home births but I live in small apt and I would feel more comfortable being in a hospital for my first birth for precaution. I just feel so defeated...

FWIW, hospitals are ususally really good about you stretching out your payments. My husband had an emergency room visit that we paid for over the course of 1 year without interest or any other penalities. If you happen to have health insurance with an HSA, you can even set it up with your HR department to contribute a certain amount from each paycheck to your HSA so that you have funds set aside to pay the hospital bills. GL!

hvtang · February 2013

I will echo what PPs have said - you should be able to do a payment plan, if that's something you are comfortable with .

Also, what part of NY are you in? There is a birth center in Danbury over the CT border - not sure if that's an option for you where you are, but they do water births there (that's where I'll be delivering).

RMama2012 · February 2013

I realize you like the idea of a water birth but remember, when you are actually in labor, you may not like it at all. I'm not trying to discourage you from finding a hospital that allows for it. You should just realize you may hate it. So if it doesn't workout for you, don't stress it.

ILoveRunning · February 2013

I'm really surprised at the number of people suggesting that the OP pony up the 50%. I can see paying for midwifery care, or birth center care, out of pocket since it has a fixed, upfront cost (and even then, only if someone can afford it). If plans change, a person would be out ~$8,000. The problem with a hospital is that going in, it is difficult to see what the costs are going to be because things can change, and even the most routine procedures can set someone back thousands of dollars. That can balloon to tens of thousands in the case of a c-section (or worse in the case of additional complications). That seems awfully steep for a tub of water.

BakerMommy · February 2013

Are there any hospitals where you can bring in a rented birth tub? One of my friends hired a doula who brought a tub with her.

I found the shower to be almost as helpful as the tub, so if you end up somewhere without a tub water can still help you out.

I actually had an unintentional water birth. You weren't supposed to deliver in the water, but by the time they checked me, LO was almost crowning so there is no moving me. So you never know how things will turn out in the end! ;]

Want a personalized experience?

I Feel Defeated (Kind of Long)

Re: I Feel Defeated (Kind of Long)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards