how to respond about being SAHM

manda26 · January 2013

I went to a baby shower last weekend and got to see several women from my pre- SAHM days, some with kids some pregnant now. None of them stay home or plan to when their LO is born. So they were asking me how it is going and what not and I got a few "I'm jealous" "I wish I could stay home" comments, which I have heard before and I never know what to say.

So whats the best way to respond? I feel so uncomfortable in these situations because everyones situations are different and I don't want anyone to think I am judging them for working, because I'm not. And I don't want to seem like I'm rubbing it anyones face, you know?

MsCrispy · January 2013

I would probably respond with saying that it is great staying at home, but sometimes you miss work as well...miss coworkers, getting out, etc - I'm sure there is something you miss. Then you won't make them feel bad or rub it in their face.

Staying at home is a choice, with sacrifices. I'm guessing a lot of your friends could be SAHMs if they really wanted to (but would have to cut back spending). They also may just be saying that they are jealous, but not really wanting to stay at home. It's just small talk. They are complimenting you, you just compliment back.

I'm a working mom if that matters.

Jcraul · January 2013

MsCrispy:
I would probably respond with saying that it is great staying at home, but sometimes you miss work as well...miss coworkers, getting out, etc - I'm sure there is something you miss. Then you won't make them feel bad or rub it in their face.
Staying at home is a choice, with sacrifices. I'm guessing a lot of your friends could be SAHMs if they really wanted to (but would have to cut back spending). They also may just be saying that they are jealous, but not really wanting to stay at home. It's just small talk. They are complimenting you, you just compliment back.
I'm a working mom if that matters.

I agree! I'm also a working Mom but DH and I have had several conversations about me staying home. It all boils down to benefits. The healthcare coverage we rec'd from my employer is phenomenal! His employer doesn't offer it, small company of 3 men. It would be too expensive for us to buy on our own if I was a SAHM. So we do what works for us but revisit the topic often... we'd both love for me to be a SAHM.

manda26 · January 2013

Jcraul:
MsCrispy:
I would probably respond with saying that it is great staying at home, but sometimes you miss work as well...miss coworkers, getting out, etc - I'm sure there is something you miss. Then you won't make them feel bad or rub it in their face.
Staying at home is a choice, with sacrifices. I'm guessing a lot of your friends could be SAHMs if they really wanted to (but would have to cut back spending). They also may just be saying that they are jealous, but not really wanting to stay at home. It's just small talk. They are complimenting you, you just compliment back.
I'm a working mom if that matters.
I agree! I'm also a working Mom but DH and I have had several conversations about me staying home. It all boils down to benefits. The healthcare coverage we rec'd from my employer is phenomenal! His employer doesn't offer it, small company of 3 men. It would be too expensive for us to buy on our own if I was a SAHM. So we do what works for us but revisit the topic often... we'd both love for me to be a SAHM.

definitely helps to hear from a WM. Also all 5 of my friends are in the school setting as a teacher or a therpist, so that schedule is way different from me coming home at 6 every night and having only 14 PTO days and 8 major holidays off. If I was a teacher, I would probably still be working.

Jcraul - one major reason I went back was because I had the benefits, his former job would have cost us more then our rent for less coverage because it was a small company too. I only left because he got a new job, which I didn't even want him to take at first! lol