Being PAL & TTC #2 question

crystalknpp · January 2013

I read a post on my BMB this morning about when everyone thinks they will TTC again and so many women were saying they wanna start TTC in spring so they have a winter baby etc. and I wish it was that easy and black & white for us. Do you think that being PAL has influenced how soon you will TTC again after having your Rainbow baby? DH and I always said we would want our LO's 2-3 years apart and would wait at least 12-18 months in between to TTC again. Since it took 3yrs and 4 losses before we had B though our timeline has changed and were probably going to TTC again this Spring or latest early summer because we don't know how long it will take. I never thought I wanted 2u2 but now my mentality is I just want a healthy baby and whenever that happens is ok with me.

Junebug060609 · January 2013

For me age played into it more than anything. I turned 35 just a month after D was born, am 36 now. I knew I wanted to avoid 'Irish Twins', but once we were beyond that stage we were NTNP. It was irrelevant until AF returned 8.5 months pp. I got pg again a few months later...but unfortunately m/c'd again. If this cycle works out (FX!), I'd be delivering just days shy of turning 37. At this point I'm just hoping to be able to have a healthy sibling for my son. I completely get you on that one.

magdalina.h · January 2013

It didn't change our minds. We wanted our kids to be at least 2 years apart.

crystalknpp · January 2013

phancykat:
I'm with Junebug on this one. Age is playing a major factor. I turned 35 in November. I'm ready to start ttc now, but I just started a new job, and am temp, so I have to wait until I'm permanent, then 3 months on top of that, so if I do get ku immediately(I won't), I'll be eligible for full fmla.
But, did you read that article that RusalkaSings posted? LOL

Yes and it scared the crap out of me but I still can't wait for baby #2 lol

october_artist · January 2013

My DH and I aren't fighting the clock quite so much as we are just nervous it will take a long time to conceive again. Before our issues with fertility and our loss I assumed I'd just let things happen as they may but since we seem to have to try a bit harder than the normal couple, we aren't preventing at all - I'd love to be pregnant again soon....but that being said, I'm at 8.5 months pp and still no AF yet. I am BFing so it might still be a while, who knows. I dream of having 3 or 4 kids so we are just letting things be and if after I'm done BFing things still haven't happened (meaning AF is no where in sight again) I'll probably go back and see my RE.

JulyMomma2U2 · January 2013

For me, being PAL didn't affect my thoughts on when to TTC again.. but, I should also say we did not struggle with TTCing. Had we struggled there, we definitely would have factored that in to our decision. I think even though we have our rainbow baby, PgAL mindset is still very much there.. for us, we didn't actively decide to TTC, we just weren't really TTA, and it happened when it did.

Can I just say, I went back and read that article.. and, LOL, makes me slightly less "puppies and rainbows" when thinking about the second one

mork · January 2013

We knew we wanted them close together, but all our losses proved that we can't plan, and likely won't get, that. So, we're planning on trying again as soon as cleared, which is 6 mo. We basically expect to lose a few more before we get another rainbow. How sad is that?

We had planned on 2 to 4 kids, but after this journey we're stopping at 2. Actually, we even considered stopping at 1 after the rough first couple months of her life, but we both really want another. I'd rather do it sooner than later though, because if we get too far out from the newborn craziness I may not be willing to start all over.

adoxyinherear · January 2013

phancykat:
I'm with Junebug on this one. Age is playing a major factor. I turned 35 in November. I'm ready to start ttc now, but I just started a new job, and am temp, so I have to wait until I'm permanent, then 3 months on top of that, so if I do get ku immediately(I won't), I'll be eligible for full fmla.
But, did you read that article that RusalkaSings posted? LOL

ROFL. I feel like the harbinger of DON'T DO IT but for whatever reason, the past few weeks I've felt like I want to move our timetable up. I really, really, really didn't want 2u2, but now I feel like we ought to start trying after DD's first birthday, because we really have no way of controlling when it will happen. I think ideally I'd still prefer DD was 2 before she had a sibling, just because it would be easier on all of us, but it seems like less the end of the world if it happens sooner.

ksyknelvr73 · January 2013

I don't think it really influenced me. I have always said I wanted kids 2-3 years apart, but I also think that I've gotten a lot more "go with the flow" than I used to be, now that I know you can't REALLY plan and assume things will work out. We are planning to TTC in March and I want so badly for things to happen right away, but I am nervous that it will take a while. So...we'll see.

orangegoggles · January 2013

Being PAL has influenced me but probably differently than most. I will actually wait longer TTC because of my losses. For us, getting pregnant wasn't the issue. Prior to this pregnancy I had 3 m/c. I feel like I have been pregnant for so long and with each pregnancy brought so much fear, anxiety, etc. I am sure some of this will improve now that we have LO but I know I will still be a mess. I want to wait a few years so I can enjoy DS and not have to worry and stress when we start the process again.

Zimger · January 2013

We are TTC but I am not going in with the mindset that if I start TTC here then I will have a baby by this date. I'm afraid that would be setting myself and DH up for alot of stress.

The only plan we really have is that we are going to TFAS and hope for a healthy pregnancy.

luvmyducks · January 2013

I think it does. But ot's hard to say. I might have waited just a year longer if I wasn't AL. I like the idea of kids close in age and it took a little bit to get DD so we wanted to start sooner than later. But BFing for at least 12m was a priority first, so once we hit that I was ready to try again. We never imagined we would succeed on our first cycle. So they will be a little closer in age than I would say is our ideal, but we will take it!

chloebeth930 · January 2013

I get pregnant very easily so when we want number 2 I have to be prepared for the possibility that I'll get KU on the first shot.

The only thing that is deciding for us is DH's deployment schedule. I would really like to have him around the next time when I give birth so I either have to try to get KU the month or 2 before they leave or right when he gets home.

KJsbabe · January 2013

PAL has definitely influenced when we will TTC again. We want to have two kids and I don't want them to be really far apart. 2-3 years tops. We'll be TTC again as soon as AF decides to show up. We just don't know how long it will take to get another healthy pregnancy. I don't want to wait until DD is a certain age to start trying and then have it take another 2 years to have another baby.

I think you just have to be ok with whatever scenario happens. If I end up getting pg quickly and am able to keep the baby on the first try, 2u2 would be awesome. If it takes a while again, I'm ok with my kids being 2-3 years apart.

tetiananina · January 2013

It is for us, we said once Jackson turns 1 we are TTC and of course we don't know how long it will take. I think the PgAL has me not wanting to get on BC because I feel if if was to happen sooner the baby would be a blessing! Although if it happens sooner than a year I really hope Jackson is sleeping through the night!

jen-dale · January 2013

We started TTC 6 months after DD#1 was born because I was hoping for another 3 years or less apart from her. I assumed more losses would happen and also due to being 35 didn't want to wait longer to start.

hopefulmom81 · January 2013

It has absolutely changed our whole opinion. We are one and done after the nightmare of losses and rough pregnancy, rough L&D and crippling post partum anxiety. I think if we hadn't had the losses, we might have been able to bounce back, but we were always okay with 1-2 children and DD is enough for us.

SharonB222 · January 2013

From the title, I thought this was my post come back up... Big Smile

Yes, IF/RPL changed TTC#2 for me. I would have waited over 2 yrs to TTC#2, but post IF/RPL we got on it as soon as I was physically and emotionally able --- 5 mo pp physically (NTNP) and 15mo pp emotionally (scheduled a FET).

FX for you and your family!

damabo80 · January 2013

Before the whole IF/loss thing, we thought that 2-3y apart would be great.

Then after the IF dx, we said "eff that", and pretty much said if there is a viable egg, sperm will be there. So as soon as I got my period back, it was on like donkey kong. I was still BFing and I couldn't go back to the RE until after I weaned, so we TTC old school style, and it worked.

I have an IUD in right now because I can't handle 3u3. If we decide to go for 3, I'll take out the IUD this fall. Most of my mat wardrobe is spring/summer, so it be nice to not have to buy winter maternity clothes. But honestly, that's the least of my concerns. Seasons don't play into when I get KU .

charmedgrl517 · January 2013

PAL has definitely influenced how soon we will TTC again which will probably be this summer. I also would like them to be 2-3yrs apart and it took us over 1 yr to get pg with DD and I am worried it will take that long and praying for not another m/c while trying to emotionally prepare myself for this journey again. I know we can't plan this so I'm trying to relax and enjoy everything about #2 if we are lucky to have another.

BarooGirl · February 2013

PAL has influenced DH and I's plan.

We discussed BC at some appt in my 3rd trimester. At the time OB said we were fine not doing anything, my pregnancy went well, it took us a while...

We are mid 30's and it took us 2 years to get Audrey. We do want another and want them close in age.

I am waiting on a call back to make sure OB thinks it is fine to ttc now. I just want to double check since it was brought up to me yesterday. We alreay stopped bc on Monday. But I would go back on if OB said it would be best.

I am BFing and know that can mess with AF coming and I OK with that, I am also OK if it doesnt.

cmumama · February 2013

It's affected me a little. If we have a 3rd, I'd love to wait until Dec or so to start trying so they would be closer to 2 years apart, but since it took us almost a year to get DS2, we'll start trying in July for #3 (if we decide to go for it).