2nd Trimester
brandi3207
member
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Breastfeeding vs. formula
brandi3207
member
Due to medical reasons I most likely will be unable to breastfeed but I'm not entirely sure. I might be able to try bf but I'm not sure if I will be able to do it exclusively. I've been getting used to the idea that I will most likely have to use formula. I had a breast reduction and lift when I was 18 because one breast was much larger than the other. During surgery I needed an emergency skin graph on one breast. That being said I would only be able to breastfeed using one breast. Which basically leaves me wondering if it's even a possibility. I'm perfectly fine with using formula for the baby after all it's a mothers choice whether she chooses to breastfeed or use formula. However, I find it somewhat aggravating that in the process of promoting breastfeeding people can make moms feel guilty for choosing formula. I understand that breastfeeding is natural and better for the baby but why make other mom's feel bad for their decisions and guilty that this option is not feasible for them for whatever reason. Maybe I'm just sensitive to the issue, I'm just wondering if anyone else feels the same way and if anyone would like to share their experiences either way if they are/or chose to breastfeed or use formula.
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Re: Breastfeeding vs. formula
I believe in Africa or some villages in Africa, they would only BF using their right breast. So it's possible, but I'm not sure about the supply.
Also, Those "judging" moms (IMO) are judging the moms who sincerely think that formula is "better" than BFing, not those who can't for medical reasons, such as yourself.
So if anyone is ever judging you...don't let that bother you, because they are douche bags.
EDIT: For clarification, I jumbled like half of my paragraph....sorry
I would use formular if for some reason I was incapable of providing breast milk. I think you should see how you feel once the baby is here. They say even two weeks of breastfeeding/breastmilk is beneficial. I think every mom needs to do what she feels is best for her baby. I would never judge a mother for not breastfeeding, but I think women should have an open mind about trying it at least once just to see if it's something that will work for them, since the benefits for baby are incredible.
For different reasons than yours, I was unable to BF and I took it unbelievably hard - I cried for hours. I utilized every resource available to be with no change. I felt like a bad mom, a failure and I did feel judged.
I was completely unprepared for my body not to work the way I felt evolution had designed it, it was a truly awful time that I'm getting teary about even writing about it.
Please don't do what I did. It's most important for your baby to eat, if you aren't able to BF, don't dwell on it, they invented formula for a reason.
Give it a try, if you don't have success don't feel bad. Anyone who makes you feel like less than a great mom isn't worth your time.
This too! True, there is a difference between someone "hating" it because it's "gross" and because it's just not for them. I've known a gal who actually felt anger towards her kid after awhile because she hated BFing so much. I'd say choosing formula over hating her child was the way to go!!
The bottom line is that whatever you choose to do to feed your child is what is best for you and your family. End of story.
Have confidence, and feel proud that you are doing what works for you. Don't allow anyone to make you feel like less of a mother for it.
I love BF, and really really tried to do it. My body would not cooperate no matter what I tried. It was heartbreaking and I felt awful. At the time I was not surrounded by supportive BFers. I felt like they were judging me at the time. They were so militant about it and so oppressive that it was really difficult.
Now I know that I was just in the wrong "support" group. Since I've found out I was pregnant I have found a different support group. I attended recently (so I could get to know them better) and told my story. I felt naked in front of them crying and saying how I felt like a failure. They assured me that even if BF didn't work out this time that I could still have play dates with them and that feeding my child is all that matters. BF or not.
So, research your support groups and find people that support YOU. My experience should not be typical and I am going to try to BF again this time with number two. I know that I am going to give it my best shot like last time, but that I have a network of mothers that I am getting to know so I feel as though I have a "safety net".
Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk.
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If you're looking for information, bfar.org is the best place to look for women breastfeeding after a reduction. https://bfar.org/index.shtml
As for judging and feeling bad, you'll find that the better educated you are about your choices and your own situation, the more you don't care what other people think. Own your decisions, own your specific life, and don't worry about everyone else. The more confident you are, the less people will try to give you advice.
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This is me almost exactly. I BF for 11 months because I let the pressure get to me, but I personally hated it. No one should judge others unless that mom is neglecting/abusing the child. And no, FF is not neglecting your child. I know it can be difficult since I caved to the pressure myself (not that you may have any choice in the matter anyway), but when I learned how to not care about the opinions of others unless they were supportive of my decisions I became a much happier person. This pregnancy I will do it my way. MH supports me, and everyone else can find something else to spend too much of their time on.
I hated it because it was so restricting for me. I never hated my daughter or felt resentment toward her, but it was definitely frustrating when I would try to go shopping or just get some alone time and get called back home after 45 minutes because DD refused to take a bottle and was crying. Pumping was a pain at work and if I went out on a date with DH I would have to find somewhere to pump. I think that I was surprised by how hard it is to be feeding your child 24 hours a day, even when you are not with them. However, it is totally convenient for night time feedings and the relaxation that it gives both mom and baby, and the cost savings is pretty great too. When I got sick when DD was 8 months and my supply dropped dramatically I found it to be a good excuse to wean and switch to formula. In the end everyone just should do what is best for their family without judgment of their choice.
My right breast is a dud. It expresses a minuscule amount of milk that's is pretty much laughable.
When I pumped and nursed DS, the main source of milk was from my left breast. That was enough to sustain him for 3 1/2 months, and then I switched to formula.
BFing from one breast doesn't automatically mean that you feel to switch to formula. The fact is, you have no idea what your breasts are going to actually do when the time comes.
I had a breast reduction when I was 15, so I am in the same boat. The doctor at the time said that it was unlikely I will have the ability to breast feed, however I have regained a great deal of feeling in my breasts and have felt those little electric sensations since getting pregnant.
I have found that you just can't let the opinions of others get you down. Everyone has some advice to give an expectant or new mother, and sometimes people don't realize they are being inappropriate. My stance, is the only person who knows what's right for herself and her baby is the woman herself and her doctor. No one else's opinion counts. Some days it's hard to get there though.
I always recommend that if you want to try breast feeding, try it without expecting too much. I think that's the biggest problem people face - they set themselves up for disappointment. I was fairly ambivalent about it when I had DD1. I wanted to try it since it is best for her, cheapest and most convenient, but I was not going to beat myself up if it didn't work out. I didn't even buy a pump.
I set very small goals for myself. At first, it was 2 weeks to get past the most painful stage (bc, trust me, it hurts at first). Then it was 6 weeks. Then I wanted to keep it up until I went back to work at 12 weeks, then 6 months, then a year.
I ended up loving it and my DD weaned herself at 16.5 months. If it works out for you, it is the easiest thing you can do since there are no bottles or parts to wash (unless you pump). But it's so nice to pop out a boob in the middle of the night rather than go fix a bottle.
The whole BF vs. Formula debate is so unwieldy and multifaceted that even to confront it must be dizzying. However, don't think that formula is your only option aside from BFing. I used goat's milk to supplement my breast milk supply with my first. Pedi told me to make sure to add a few drops of neonatal vitamins to each bottle to ensure full nutrient supply but other than that, good to go. Goat's milk can be purchased in almost any chain grocery store, organic options are available, and it most closely resembles human breast milk in its fatty and nutritive make-up. It is also less expensive than formula when purchased in larger amounts, making it economical too!
I formula fed (not for medical reasons - it was just a personal choice) and I'm very happy with that decision and plan to do the same for this baby, but I support whatever is right for the mom. My kids are now 9 and 6 and are healthy and vital and active (they hardly ever get sick). While I don't credit that result as strictly from formula feeding, I wouldn't credit it to breastfeeding if that had been the case either.
I never feel the need to justify my choice, but as for my experience - aside from breastfeeding not being the right fit for me (I had a very strong emotional reaction against it that I didn't anticipate at all), I very much liked knowing exactly how much they were eating, I liked that my husband also got to feed the baby - especially during those late night feedings, that I could have freedom to have a rare night out without worrying about being back at a certain time or trying to pump enough.
A big positive aspect for me was being able to feed them in public or at family events without feeling exposed or having to hide myself and the baby. While the sight of a mother feeding her child is perfectly natural to me, I was too modest and felt like I was on display. The majority of my friends breastfeed and I see nothing out of the norm when they feed their children in front of me, but I never reached that level of comfort and I don't think I ever would.
And for me, I had absolutely zero appetite for nearly two months after each birth (I could survive on water and a pack of cheese and crackers for the day), so I would have constantly worried about the nourishment I was giving them.
Like I said, it was the best decision for me - but a lot of thought went into it and I was positive I would breastfeed right up until I actually did it and was in tears because it made me feel so anxious and unnatural. I had no idea I would react that way, but rational or not, it was how I felt and I've never regretted it.
Do whatever is right for you - whatever choice you make will undoubtedly be in the best interest of your baby and yourself.
I think you should go into it without any previous expectations. Give it a try and if it doesn't work for you don't beat yourself up about it.
I BF DS for 14 months, but it started out very rough for me. DS was very hungry and he was a very aggressive nurser. We developed thrush and that made it even worse. My husband was not supportive at all, he kept trying to pressure me into using formula. Even going to the extent of buying formula and bringing it home. I would be nursing DS and crying because of the pain and my husband would start grumbling at me that I should just feed him formula if it's causing that big of a problem for me. But I didn't give up and I am glad I didn't. I went to the dr and got the thrush cleared up and BFing became very pleasurable of an experience for me.
Try not to let anyone pressure you in either direction, you know what is best for you and your baby.
I said that they aren't typically. Obviously some people are just a-holes and judge just to be judgy. Most people really aren't like that though.
THIS!!!
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