Refusing dinner

mben1119 · January 2013

Ds is 15 months old. For the past few weeks, he's been refusing dinner. No matter what I try, including foods he knows and likes, he throws a tantrum. After 15 minutes, I break down and feed him yogurt, cheese, toast, or applesauce, and he eats all of it. Any experience or advice? I hate giving in, but he needs to eat.

mben1119 · January 2013

Packerfan79:
Is he teething?

He was, but the drool has stopped. Maybe he still is, hence only wanting mushy food.

dairygirl19 · January 2013

Mine gets like this when she's teething. I usually give in. I don't consider cheese/yogurt/applesauce and the like that awful of a toddler dinner either.

It's also common for toddlers to not want dinner. Most have a tendency to eat really well at breakfast, a bit less at lunch, and hardly anything at dinner. My pedi always jokes if we all subscribed to the toddler philosophy weight in adults wouldn't be an issue.

I guess I don't push it. They're human. Sometimes they are just more plain hungry than others. I know I say this everyday on here, but I'm a believer of, "you either eat or you don't." No stress.

mben1119 · January 2013

dairygirl19:
Mine gets like this when she's teething. I usually give in. I don't consider cheese/yogurt/applesauce and the like that awful of a toddler dinner either.
It's also common for toddlers to not want dinner. Most have a tendency to eat really well at breakfast, a bit less at lunch, and hardly anything at dinner. My pedi always jokes if we all subscribed to the toddler philosophy weight in adults wouldn't be an issue. ;
I guess I don't push it. They're human. Sometimes they are just more plain hungry than others. I know I say this everyday on here, but I'm a believer of,o "you either eat or you don't." No stress.

Thanks. That makes sense. So, do you just not even bother offering at that point, and just feed them what you know they'll eat? I'm wasting so much food at this point.

LatteLady5 · January 2013

When DD gets in this funk she usually says and signs "all done" without even trying the food. Once I force fed her a small piece of salmon. It's literally her favorite meal and she wouldn't even look at it. I put the piece in her mouth and she made a terrible face and then said "mmmm" and finished eating the rest of her meal.

If I know she's teething or not feeling well she gets a pouch or greek yogurt or something. If she threw a tantrum though I would not. Tantrums do not equal getting what she wants. (She doesn't really throw a lot of tantrums though) She also asks and signs to eat when she's hungry.

If I were you I would just offer him the same food several times, especially since it's stuff you know he likes it. Also, I think (and I may be wrong) that when you look at a toddler's nutrition you're supposed to do it weekly not daily. If he didn't eat dinner tonight but ate fine yesterday it's not a big deal. Does that make sense?

ETA force fed sounds kind of harsh. I slipped a little piece inside her cheek and she enjoyed it thoroughly.

ASmallWonder · January 2013

Like another poster said, dinner is often the worst meal as far as what they'll eat. If you know he's eating well during the day, I wouldn't keep giving the stuff you know he likes as a substitute for everything else. Adding a well liked item to the meal is good but ditching the entire meal in favor of a group of favorites is just setting him up to refuse dinner to get what he wants. At the very least, if we really need to get something in him we don't offer the alternative immediately. He gets told he doesn't have to eat and can leave and then maybe a half hour before bed we might give in to a yogurt of cottage cheese if we know he was lacking in good nutrition that day. They don't make the connection as clearly between their refusal and then getting something "good" kwim?

mben1119 · January 2013

elmoali:
Like another poster said, dinner is often the worst meal as far as what they'll eat. nbsp;If you know he's eating well during the day, I wouldn't keep giving the stuff you know he likes as a substitute for everything else. nbsp;Adding a well liked item to the meal is good but ditching the entire meal in favor of a group of favorites is just setting him up to refuse dinner to get what he wants. nbsp;At the very least, if we really need to get something in him we don't offer the alternative immediately. nbsp;He gets told he doesn't have to eat and can leave and then maybe a half hour before bed we might give in to a yogurt of cottage cheese if we know he was lacking in good nutrition that day. nbsp;They don't make the connection as clearly between their refusal and then getting something "good" kwim?

He eats well in the morning and at day care. It's just dinner time is a battle, and I probably give in too easily just to get the ball rolling. I'm going to start with something he likes, then try to transition to something I want him to eat.

dairygirl19 · January 2013

mabenner1:
dairygirl19:
Mine gets like this when she's teething. I usually give in. I don't consider cheese/yogurt/applesauce and the like that awful of a toddler dinner either. It's also common for toddlers to not want dinner. Most have a tendency to eat really well at breakfast, a bit less at lunch, and hardly anything at dinner. My pedi always jokes if we all subscribed to the toddler philosophy weight in adults wouldn't be an issue. ; I guess I don't push it. They're human. Sometimes they are just more plain hungry than others. I know I say this everyday on here, but I'm a believer of,o "you either eat or you don't." No stress.
Thanks. That makes sense. So, do you just not even bother offering at that point, and just feed them what you know they'll eat? I'm wasting so much food at this point.

I usually make a game out of what's currently on her plate. (I've been known to roll peas to her!). If that doesn't work I usually hand her a piece of cheese and call it a day. Something with some nutrients so I don't feel bad and can say I fed her, but not something she'll start whining for consistently and refuse to eat. I guess I've been lucky though. 9 times out of 10 if she won't eat what's on her plate, she won't eat anything else really either. However, if it's like teeth or illness I will give in. We all want comfort food when sick, I assume she does too.

I do put 3 things on her plate, any of which I'm fine with her eating or not. Helps a lot. She gets healthy stuff but gets control and I fight a lot less battles that way. Some wise Bumpie told me that long ago and it really works!

memali26 · January 2013

LatteLady5:
Also, I think (and I may be wrong) that when you look at a toddler's nutrition you're supposed to do it weekly not daily. If he didn't eat dinner tonight but ate fine yesterday it's not a big deal. Does that make sense?

You're right about the weekly thing. I think if the majority of the moms who post here about their concerns with what/how much their kids eat looked at it over the course of the week they'd be surprised to see it's more than they thought. I've guilty of the worry over daily intake, too, since I have an itty bitty, but tried the weekly food journal once and was amazed at how much she had actually eaten. Most of it was consumed at breakfast

chardonnay24 · January 2013

I don't stress about it. If he doesn't eat what I serve for dinner, he doesn't eat. It sounds harsh, but I certainly don't starve him. He will let us know if he's hungry after dinner and if he doesn't eat a good dinner, I'll make sure to offer something hearty later as a snack. Plus he gets milk before bed. But mostly, I don't worry about it. He'll eat if he's hungry, and I'm not going to start the habit of preparing a separate dinner for him.

Refusing dinner

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