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Funeral for Coworker during 2WW...

starspangledgirl1starspangledgirl1 member
in Infertility
this is going to sound horribly selfish, but i am debating on whether i should go to a former co-workers funeral this Friday...im in the 2WW and I am supposed to be avoiding stress and i know that going will make me sad and down....he was only 25 and its suspected he took his own life. plus i left my job on bad terms and i am worried about running into my former manager who i clashed with...id love to be there with my former coworkers and pay my respects but im just trying to gauge if it will upset me too much.
me 40, DH 39... FSH:8.6 AMH 2.3 AFC:15... DH: MF: sx for Double Varicocele, SA 45 mil, motil: 50%, morph 3%- "lazy swimmers!"... Me: All "normal" but aging eggs most likely... ;-/ DS: 4/29/05-7 yrs old MC 9 weeks: 9/21/11 TTC for 3 yrs...7/2012: 1st IUI: BFN 8/2012: 2nd IUI: BFN... Need a break already! IVF #1 in progress Jan 2013: Antagonist Prot.: Gonal F 300/Menopur 150 ER: 15 follies, 12 retrieved, 10 mature, 10 fertilized...grow embies grow! 1/8/13: BFN.
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Re: Funeral for Coworker during 2WW...

  • zazu13zazu13 member
    Don't do what you can't do. I skipped a funeral for my aunt when I was in the middle of one of my cycles. Emotionally I just couldn't handle it. Perhaps you could attend the viewing  (assuming there is one separate for the funeral) or just send online condolences. Take care of you first, but sorry to hear about your friend.

    Age: 35 TTC since 2005, MFI & DOR 

    IVF #1 Sep '11 - canceled poor response

     IVF #2 Nov '11  8R/8M/4F 3dt x2 - chemical

    IVF #3 April '12  11R/6M/4F 3dt x2 - m/c

    FET #1 Aug 2012  3dt x2 - BFN

    **new RE**

     IVF #4 Jan '13 BFN 11R/6M/6F 5dt x2 - BFN

     IVF #5 July '13 16R/10M/10F 5dt x2 + 1 frostie

    9dp5dt Beta 1 = 344!! 16dp5dt. Beta 2 = 4822 7wk u/s= 2 heartbeats!

    Twin girls! 3/6/14

     

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  • starspangledgirl1starspangledgirl1 member

    i feel terrible but i just dont think i could do either....a wake has the body and that would be awful to see. too much sadness. sucks bc normally id go to both wake and funeral....

     

    imagezazu13:
    Don't do what you can't do. I skipped a funeral for my aunt when I was in the middle of one of my cycles. Emotionally I just couldn't handle it. Perhaps you could attend the viewing  (assuming there is one separate for the funeral) or just send online condolences. Take care of you first, but sorry to hear about your friend.
    me 40, DH 39... FSH:8.6 AMH 2.3 AFC:15... DH: MF: sx for Double Varicocele, SA 45 mil, motil: 50%, morph 3%- "lazy swimmers!"... Me: All "normal" but aging eggs most likely... ;-/ DS: 4/29/05-7 yrs old MC 9 weeks: 9/21/11 TTC for 3 yrs...7/2012: 1st IUI: BFN 8/2012: 2nd IUI: BFN... Need a break already! IVF #1 in progress Jan 2013: Antagonist Prot.: Gonal F 300/Menopur 150 ER: 15 follies, 12 retrieved, 10 mature, 10 fertilized...grow embies grow! 1/8/13: BFN.
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  • oO Angie OooO Angie Oo member

    Sorry to hear about your loss. :( My mother is korean and has all these sayings and she says never to go to a funeral while you are preggers. I don't always listen to her quirky things but I agree with the other post that you need to take care of yourself. If you are close to the family I might stop by in the coming weeks to pay your respects. 

     

    Bottom line: use your best judgement and listen to your body.

     

     

    Me: 29 DH: 32 Married: 10.25.07 Been dealing with amenorrheoa since I was young. (Literally go years w/o AF) Unexpected and very surprising BFP in Feb 2007. M/C April 2007. :( TTC since 2008 Metformin- Didn't help. :( Clomid 50mg/Provera cycle #1 7/2009 - BFN Clomid 50mg/Provera cycle #2- 8/2009- BFN Clomid 100mg/Provera cycle #3- 1/2010- BFN ...Took a break... 2012- Met with RE 09/12- Day 3 Labs- FSH 2.5, Estradiol 47, TSH 4.5 (Doc re-ordering Day 3 labs) DH sperm analysis- all good 11/12- Day 3 Labs- FSH 4.3, estradiol 38, TSH 2.51 Prescribed Synthroid 11/12- HSG all clear 1/13- IUI with Femara and trigger shot on 1/31- BFN 2/13-IUI #2- cancelled due to low response 3/13- planning IUI with injectables
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  • jadweddjadwedd member
    If it is too much for you then don't go.  You could do something in his memory instead.  Like donate to a suicide hotline or see if there are any volunteer opportunities you could do.  I am sure that he would not have wanted you to risk anything to attend.
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  • LuCloLuClo member

    imagejadwedd:
    If it is too much for you then don't go.  You could do something in his memory instead.  Like donate to a suicide hotline or see if there are any volunteer opportunities you could do.  I am sure that he would not have wanted you to risk anything to attend.

    This exactly.  

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  • Cypress82Cypress82 member
    I wouldn't feel bad. You need to do what's best for you right now, and decrease your stress as much as possible. I feel for you - a friend of mine is CONTEMPLATING suicide right now. She's been very depressed and up and down the past year, and she decided right now, right before I'm going to start my cycle, that she's having a down moment. It's been...tough to say the least :/ No way you can completely avoid stress as much as you try!!

    **TTC #1 Sep 2009-Feb 2013**   Me: 33 DH: 32 (healthy, SA = normal)

    DX (May 2010) = Lap #1 showed Stage I-II endometriosis. HSG normal. Tx with 6 mo Lupron (which did nothing...) Lap #2 June 2011 to remove endo, uterine fibroid, and polyp

    IUI #1-#3 (July-Sep 2011): All Clomid 50 mg + unmonitored IUI = All BFN

    October 2011 - April 2012: Outta $$$ (no insurance coverage) = back to tryin' on our own

    May 2012 - August 2012: Mental break from trying

    October 2012: New OB. Bloodwork normal aside from slightly low progesterone

    November 2012: IUI #4: Letrozole 2.5 mg + Novarel trigger + monitored IUI + progesterone = BFN

    IVF #1: Long Lupron Protocol,Menopur,Follistim, ER = 2/12/13 27R/26M/23F

    2/17/13 Transferred 1 perfect Grade 1 blast. 17 frostbabies.

    HPT 7dp5dt: BFP!!! Beta #1 9dp5dt: 108 Beta #2 11dp5dt: 368

    U/S #1 3/21: Heartbeat and one perfect bean!!  DS born 11/6/13 via c-section


    TTC #2 March - August 2015 = all BFNs

    Prep for FET #1: Aug 2015: found "mass" in uterus on saline sonogram; scheduled a hysteroscopy to remove. 

    Sept 2015: Hysteroscopy: mass turned out to be scar tissue(?), all removed. Recheck saline sonogram 2 weeks later showed "stuff" still in uterus (more scar tissue? remnants from surgery? Will see if clears with a period). Recheck saline sonogram 1 week later: all clear! Start Lupron and Estrace. Follow up u/s 2 weeks later: uterine lining only 5mm, add in patches. Follow up u/s 1 week later: uterine lining = 4.3mm (argh!), stop estrace and patches and start estradiol injections twice/week. Follow up u/s 2 weeks later: uterine lining = 5mm :/ Instructed to keep on estradiol injections and recheck in 5 days = lining still at 5mm. Need to make a decision - go for it? Or toss in the towel w/ this cycle and start all over again next year with a new protocol. Decided to go for it as we had 17 frosties; what have we got to lose?? 

    12/2/15 = transferred 1 perfect Grade B blast

    12/9/15 = HPT - BFP!!!!

    Beta #1 12/11/15: 236    Beta #2  12/14/15: 503   Please stick little one!!!!

    U/S scheduled for week of 1/4/16

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers  
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  • scbediscbedi

    imagejadwedd:
    If it is too much for you then don't go.  You could do something in his memory instead.  Like donate to a suicide hotline or see if there are any volunteer opportunities you could do.  I am sure that he would not have wanted you to risk anything to attend.

    great advice!

    Anniversary Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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    3TC March Siggy Challenge: Funny Internet Meme Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Age: Me 26, DH 27, Married Oct. 10, 2009 ,TTC since March 2012
    Problem: Irregular menstruation, unexplained
    Nov&Dec-Provera because of no period after 35+ days
    First RE appt 1/10/2013
    Tests: TSH (normal), Prolactin (normal), SA (abnormal)
    Hysteroscopy (normal) and PCOS labs (negative/normal) 1/15/2013
    2/1/13- HPT BFP but Beta Hcg was negative
    Plan: Femara + Trigger + IUI in April if no real BFP before then Bloggy Blog!
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