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April 2013 Moms
nyki06
member
How do you feel about this "tradition"?
nyki06
member
My cousin has three children. The kids are age 20,18, and the youngest turns 16 today. Every time one of them turns 16 my cousin brags about how she's proud of the 16 year old for keeping up their family tradition of getting their first tattoo. She highly encourages this and just to clarify there is no cultural significance to it.
What do you think about this? I think it's a pretty irresponsible parenting move, especially since these kids are also pretty emotionally immature for their age. I think part of this is coming from the fact that I got a tattoo at 18 that I don't prefer now and I can't imagine what my choice would have been at 16 because I definitely wasn't at a place where I could make a permanent choice like that.
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Re: How do you feel about this "tradition"?
I think it's absolutely ridiculous. I can't imagine at 16 knowing what I would want permanently plastered on my body for the rest of my life.
Though where I'm from its not even legal until the kid is 18 so...
My H will have an inspiration story for our girls to not add "art" to their bodies until they're 40. He has a Mighty Mouse tattoo on his back.....need I say more?
BFP #1: 5/10/12; 5/22/12: pregnancy deemed not viable (probably CP)
BFP #2: 8/2/12; Due date: 4/14/13, DD born 4/5/2013
BFP #3: 11/2/14, Due date: 7/7/15
Yep, here's it's not legal either unless the parent signs off, which she is happy to do.
NMS of parenting, but to each their own. I have two tattoos, but I was 21 and 24 when I got them. I like the one I got at 21 MUCH more than the one I got at 24.
I can't imagine I would be happy with something 16 yo me picked out.
I don't like it. For the reason you aptly outlined, which is that at 16, you might think something is AWESOME that you don't really love at 32. IT would be one thing if they had a family symbol or something that they all got tattooed, but this seems like a bad idea.
I have two tattoos and I am fine with both of them, but I guess I kinda wish I didn't have them now that I'm about to be a parent. Should have listened to my mother. ;-)
I am not a fan of that "tradition" at all. It sounds like a lot of pressure from family and what if the 16 yr old didn't want a tatoo?
I would not allow my kids to get tatoos under 18 and even after 18 I would strongly encourage them to really think about the design and location. I won't even pierce DD's ears until 12 or she gets her period. I have a lot of friends who think that's weird, but it DD's body and not mine to mark.
Yep! I'm so glad I didn't have the choice to get a tattoo at 16! I don't think you're necessarily grown up when you turn 18, but I do think that there's a lot of development that happens between (barely) 16 and 18.
If my daughter, at 16, was mature enough to understand the implications of getting a tattoo, and had something tasteful in mind, I would totally let her get one.
The idea that it's a "tradition" and they HAVE to get one at 16 (no matter how "ready" they are) is one of the dumbest thing I've heard. That kind of pressure is no good.
I was trying to postpone DD (7) getting her ears pierced, but since FI's daughter had hers done (she is 3), the age excuse went right out the window. She's done well with them so far, though, so I can't complain.
Tattoos, though, are permanent and require a bit more thought. I got my first one when I was 20, and got 5 more within about 3 years after that. I don't regret any of them.
Holy smokes, that's a terrible tradition. Both DH and I have a lot of tattoos and there is no way we would allow that. If you want a tattoo bad enough you'll want bit when you're 18. There's something specials about knowing that its your responsibility as a person to safeguard your body instead of having permission from a parent. Its just not something that consent should be required of by anyone other than the person living with it.
This is exactly the family dynamic. I would say that having "friends" for parents probably has a lot to do with why they aren't very emotionally mature for their age.
HAHAH! 16???? Are you kidding me? I was 18 when I got my first... and it's one of those that I love because I knew I wanted it and has significant meaning.. but I was DUMB at 16 - let alone 18. No way in HEEEEEELL would I let my 16 year old get a stinking tattoo. That goes for belly piercing too.
First of all you should never pressure anyone to get a tattoo, it sounds like she pushes this tradition for their 16th birthdays? Second I know several teenagers even younger that have piercings and tattoos. I think you should wait until you're 18 to get something permanent. Piercings, as long as you are not stretching them or don't scar badly like getting keloids in my opinion are ok for younger than 18. But in most cases tattoos and stretching of piercings should wait.
I actually had this converstation with my mom the other day. My little sister's 16 year old bf wants to get a memoriam tattoo for her (she just passed away). And everyone is giving his mother a lot of crap because she will let him. In this case, I understand letting him. I'm not saying it's a good idea but I understand it. Tattoos are not just body art, they can be a part of a major healing process as well. I am getting one as soon as the baby comes.
Yeah, they get to pick what it is off of the internet and get it wherever they want. The other two kids have them in very visible places that I could see deterring them from getting jobs later in life. The one who is getting his today just started looking online within the last couple weeks and it doesn't seem like anything that has deep significance. I think he's more doing it because he's allowed to rather than because there is something he really wants.
It's definitely not my style, but to each their own I suppose. In a way I guess it's no different (aside from the 'tradition' & the permanent factor) than a parent taking their child to get their ears pierced. Definitely not a 'tradition' I'd be proud of my child for keeping though..
As a matter of fact DH got a tattoo the day he turned 18 and he absolutely loathes it now. So I definitely cannot imagine allowing my 16 year old child to permanently put something on their body.
Wow, I've never heard of this as a tradition..
Lets just say I'll never encourage my children to get tattoos, no matter how old they are.
First off, I'm so sorry about your sister. As someone with a younger brother I can't imagine what you're going through.
As far as the tattoo situation goes, the mom definitely encourages it for their birthday. It's like her gift to them is giving them permission to get one and then paying for it. She also gets one at the same time so it's like "bonding" time. The kids are all desperate for her attention (last year she just randomly moved to Florida and left them in MN for months at a time with their unstable father because she wanted a "change") so they are all pretty much willing to do whatever in order to hang out with her.
Oh wow, "bonding time". She couldn't think of anything else for a 16 year old? I might be wrong but I think she is desperately trying to be the "cool mom" and going way over the top.
A coworker of mine told me that at 15 she asked her mother to sign off on a tongue piercing. Her mother said "Ugh! I'd let you get a tattoo before I'd let you get your tongue pierced!" So she dragged her mother to the tattoo shop to get a tattoo! Now she has lots of them all over her body, but when asked if one of her two kids did the same thing she said that she sign off on piercings when they're teenagers (which can theoretically close if they don't like them later on), but not tattoos until they're old enough to find something of deep significance.
And for the record, I think this "tradition" is mind boggling. To allow it is one thing, not a good idea in my mind, but to actually encourage and pressure it (it's tradition) is ludicrous.
I'm 27 and not sure I'm there yet!
Not a fan of tats... it is actually one of my "I hope..."s in life: ("I hope my kid doesn't get into drugs... I hope my kid succeeds in school... I hope my kid doesn't get a tattoo.")
I didn't know you could get a tattoo that young?? My vote: weird tradition.
You can get a tattoo if your parent signs off (at least here in MN) and their mom is more than willing to sign off.
// I love you too. //
It probably isn't actually my business, which is why I don't say anything. I just really care about my little cousins and can see that they are in a vulnerable place and I think it sucks that the mom is letting them make such a big decision when they are clearly not mature enough to handle it. If the decision was just affecting her I wouldn't give a crap. I just know that if my mom had wanted to be my friend instead of my mom at 16 and encouraged me to get tattoos I would have jumped on it in a heartbeat and most likely would be regretting it now.