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3rd Trimester
APSnewmex
member
who is the other person in the room...
APSnewmex
member
So DH and I have been going to our child-birthing classes and I think he's beginning to get intimidated by his potential role in the L&D. Last week he started asking if I want someone else there with us--a trusted girlfriend or even a doula--and I kind of balked. We live 2000miles from our families and my closest girlfriends, so it had never crossed my mind. I don't really feel close enough to any of my friends here to ask them to be there. And as for a doula, while I like the concept of a support woman in the room, I'm not comfortable paying someone to be that woman (we're already deep in the hole with this pregnancy since I'm high-risk).
So ladies, 1) are you having someone else in the room besides your DH and yourself? and 2) who? I guess I'm looking for non-traditional answers here since our mothers are out of the question.
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Re: who is the other person in the room...
if you want a doula, see if you can get a student or somethng. they usually have payment plans.
but for us, we'll have my SIL (who is our doula), my MW and a nurse maybe? not sure how it works with midwives
I'm from Canada so I'm not sure how it works in the States, BUT a friend of mine had a doula/midwife birth...and I'm PRETTY SURE her doula was lower cost or maybe even free because she was new, and I guess before they get certified they have to attend a certain amount of births. So that might help you out if it is similar where you live?
As for your comfort level...if you can find a financially affordable way of getting a doula, it might be more helpful than you suspect. It will really take the pressure of your DH. My DH was nervous about how he'd be as my "COACH", but now that we added our doula he feels so much better & confident knowing that he has a back up and someone to guide him on what to do.
Hope that was somewhat helpful
No, just DH and myself. I even banned the OB and nurses.
I was going to have my mom and sister, but I decided against that and it will just be myself and the other half of this baby-making team. He asked if I wanted a doula, but I got lazy and never looked into it and didn't want to spend any more money than we already have on prepping for baby. My DH is very supportive of everything I have wanted so far in this pregnancy and I know he will be a great advocate for me in L&D. At least he better be.
Good luck to you!
you delivered in a hospital without any medical ppl there??
I second PPs that said to look for a student doula for little to no cost. I didn't see your ticker, but typically, you start building a relationship with a doula, so if you are really considering that, I'd start looking immediately to find someone that you truly want to be there and to be extra support.
Otherwise, if you don't want to have someone else there but your H, then you need to just reassure your H that there will be other people there to assist. (My nurses with DS were fantastic!) All of the support burden doesn't necessarily fall on him. Be honest with your expectations, and talk to him about his fears as well. Perhaps you two will find that you really don't need another support person.
Yeah, this. I'm confused. I don't know of any hospital that would let you labor in the room alone without monitoring.
Oh my, it was a little tiny joke. My interwebz sarcasm isn't translating well these days. I haven't delivered yet. Had I thought about what would have made sense, it would have said "when I deliver, it will only be DH and I in the room ..." I was just teasing about no medical peoples. They will be there in full force and very much welcome. I didn't sleep much last night
LOL this makes a lot more sense
Besides us, we'll have a doula, birth photog (who is a close friend) and MIL. I absolutely adore our doula! I think she's probably the most important after DH! I think that without her that he would be super anxious about being the support person all by himself. But having her there is great because she can educate/guide him as needed while I'm laboring/delivering. I'm so thankful I found her when I did because she is still working toward her certification, so she operates on a sliding scale for her fee ($100-500). I've been planning to go around $200-250 (what we would have spent on childbirth classes) but DH had some bad stuff go down at work a month ago and his salary is cut in half. I'm hoping he'll land a new job ASAP and if we can't afford what I budgeted originally, then we can send her some additional $ later on. I totally clicked with her and think she'll be fabulous!