September 2012 Moms

Am I being unreasonable?

Hey S12 ladies! Just wondering if I'm crazy. My son fights going to sleep. He will scream and cry for 10-30 minutes before you can get him to fall asleep sometimes. My family is all super close and they love to come over and visit. Well, they just show up whenever they want and knock on the door. It seems like every time they visit, they wake him up right after we'd gotten him to sleep. We asked them now to just shoot us a text on their way over so we can open the door for them, and not have them wake him up. My family is all pissed about this and thinks we are too demanding. Do you think there is anything wrong with what we are asking? TIA!

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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

  • Uh...no theres nothing wrong with that IMO.  I would be upset if my family kept waking up LO coming over unannounced.  Seems like common courtesy to me.

     

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  • never. it is your house. and if they are butt hurt. just lock the door and make em knock.

    they really should understand

    (Kate & Dave)) 4.26.08
    (N.J.O) 9.14.12

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  • You are not being unreasonable.  Your family is.  Getting all p!ssy about having to call before coming over because you have a young baby that may be in bed?  That is ridiculous.
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  • We always have the door locked, so they do have to knock. We have even before he was born. But it's when they knock that they wake him up. We have a black lab, so she barks everytime she hears someone at the door.

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  • I agree with PP's that your family is being unreasonable!  I had a similar experience, except it was DH's parents coming over whenever they wanted and they had a knack for showing up while we were DTD.  The "best" part was that they would just use their key, that was suppsed to be for emergencies. to let themselves in!  I hope it gets better!
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  • imageDolphinLover2002:
    We always have the door locked, so they do have to knock. We have even before he was born. But it's when they knock that they wake him up. We have a black lab, so she barks everytime she hears someone at the door.

    Yep - so no one is allowed over at our house unless they call first.  Barking dogs + little kids = call ahead.  Not unreasonable.

    Plusalso sometimes my house looks like sh!t and I reserve the right to say no to visitors.

    Big Kid Jan 2010

    Littlest Man Sept 2012

  • No, you are not being unreasonable. If they don't like it, they do not get allowed inside. Let them try twice, they won't do it again.

    Kid #1 - 09/03/12
    Kid #2 - maybe???
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  • Not unreasonable at all!

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    DD #1 9/11/10

    DD #2 8/28/12

    #3 Due 10/8/15


  • I have a sign on the door that says "Baby is sleeping, please do not knock or ring the bell that I put out around 630."  That way, unless you know my phone number, there's no reason for you to be at my house.

    OP, stand up for yourself and be stern with them.  What a bunch of a$$clowns for coming over late enough that your baby is in bed.  All it will take is a few times of standing out on the stoop for them to get that you mean business.  FYI, I have done this myself.  It's tough, and you'll end up with some hurt feelings, but they'll get it.


    Nancy James 9.1.12

    Calvin Donald 8.27.14

  • My front door is decorated with a sign that basically says unless you are on fire, do not ring my doorbell.  Knock lighty if you must, but even that might be a ballsy move.  So yeah, everyone knows to text me beforehand.  Not unreasonable at all.

  • Nope.
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    Carter Robert 7.18.08 | Brynn Sophia 5.24.10 | Reid Joseph 9.10.12 | Emerson Mae 1.27.14

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  • I don't ever like people dropping in on me, sleeping baby or no, so I think this is perfectly reasonable.

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  • Completely reasonable.  I just dealt with this with my ILs.  They're the kind of people that drop by all the time, so since DH for whatever reason can't talk to his family, I told MIL that we want a call/text before they drop by.  Well, this turned into a family feud with her telling everyone what a biitch I was and how our demands are "ridiculous" and that she's "scared" to come over now.  SIL told DH "You just don't do that to family!"  People that have a problem with a simple request like that blow my mind.  It's just common sense to me.
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  • No, you aren't being unreasonable.  I almost lost my mind on my grandma one day when she opened the garage door (electronic code), came into the house and was half way upstairs before I even knew she was there.  I love her to death, but she thinks she can just walk in like she owns the place and it drives me insane.  A text is all I ask for and it's definitely not asking too much.
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  • Pfff. Nope. Not unreasonable. As a rule, I don't ever do drop ins. Text me. Call. Or you don't come in. It is that easy.
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  • How could they not respect that when you have a baby? That's very rude of them IMO. I'd restate the idea that baby wakes up when they pop in!
    *E 10/2012, H 7/2014, F 2/2016*
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  • That's redic.

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  • If they want to come over unannounced, and wake up your LO, hand him off to them and say, "have fun!".  Then go drive around for a few.  Maybe they'll get the idea.
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  • That's perfectly reasonable. Our families no we don't do uninvited guests and I have said that I won't even open the door if they ever just show up.
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  • I disconnected my door bell with DS1 and never hooked it up again. In the beginning I used to also put a sign on the door that said "Ssshhh". My family mostly got annoyed about the need to call first but eventually they all got over all of this!

    So in short, to answer you, NO! 

  • Simple answer:  No.  Your family is crazy to think that showing up unannounced to a house with a baby is ok in the first place, and your request was more than reasonable.  It's not like you even said "quit coming over" just "quit banging on our door."
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  • imageJreidknox:
    this is the opposite of unreasonable

    This

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    Mom to boy H - born September, 2012 and girl Z - born 2005. Wife to Gorgeous George. Slave to the man.

  • Thanks ladies! I'm so glad to hear you all have asked your family and friends to do the same! I just can't believe my family is all bent out of shape about it. I told them I love when they visit, I just want a heads up that they are on the way. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone!

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  • imageemasters:
    If they want to come over unannounced, and wake up your LO, hand him off to them and say, "have fun!".nbsp; Then go drive around for a few.nbsp; Maybe they'll get the idea.

    This is exactly what I would do.
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  • The only thing wise than a "pop in" is a "pop in" featuring your inlaws.
    Asking to call or text? Totally justifiable.

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    Mom to boy H - born September, 2012 and girl Z - born 2005. Wife to Gorgeous George. Slave to the man.

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