December 2012 Moms

MIL overstimulating my 5 week old DD

Ever since I gave birth to my daughter, MIL has been smothering me with visits some I didnt mind but others were unannounced, "gifts", and she has just recently been taking DD out to see her other side of the family. Again, I dont mind her doing these things but shes doing it every 23 days and she keeps DD out too late for a 5 week old to be without her mother. Since she has been doing this, baby has been extremely cranky and its hard to put her to sleep after she comes home and its worrying me because she is being overstimulated.
What should I do or say to make her stop doing these things so often without coming across as mean or hurting her feelings?
Yes I am a FTM, but this is not MIL's first grandchild who is only 2.
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Re: MIL overstimulating my 5 week old DD

  • It may hurt her feelings, but I think you just have to tell her no. You're the mom and you get to decide what's ok. If you want to soften the message, you could say that you're trying to keep her on more to a schedule and need her home by X time.

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  • Your MIL is taking your 5wk old baby somewhere without you? Wow maybe next time you should go with them that way you can control what is going on with your baby.
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  • imageilenegrace:
    Your MIL is taking your 5wk old baby somewhere without you? Wow maybe next time you should go with them that way you can control what is going on with your baby.

    This - um, my babies don't go anywhere without me until they are several months old. NO WAY would someone take my 1 mo old anywhere. 

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  • imagemama2many:

    imageilenegrace:
    Your MIL is taking your 5wk old baby somewhere without you? Wow maybe next time you should go with them that way you can control what is going on with your baby.

    This - um, my babies don't go anywhere without me until they are several months old. NO WAY would someone take my 1 mo old anywhere. 

    This. 

    Nobody took DD anywhere without me (besides Mom picking or dropping her off from DC when I could not) until she was like 6 months old? I probably won't let anyone take little man without me until he is crawling. 

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  • imagealejandra233:
    Ever since I gave birth to my daughter, MIL has been smothering me with visits some I didnt mind but others were unannounced, "gifts", and she has just recently been taking DD out to see her other side of the family. Again, I dont mind her doing these things but shes doing it every 23 days and she keeps DD out too late for a 5 week old to be without her mother. Since she has been doing this, baby has been extremely cranky and its hard to put her to sleep after she comes home and its worrying me because she is being overstimulated. What should I do or say to make her stop doing these things so often without coming across as mean or hurting her feelings? Yes I am a FTM, but this is not MIL's first grandchild who is only 2.

    She's overtired.  If she's constantly missing bedtime for these excursions, then she's going to sleep horribly and be cranky ALL the time since it really messes with their routine.   There's a certain point where babies are tired enough to go to bed, but within 30 minutes or so, it becomes overtired and they're impossible to put to bed.  

     It's a tough situation, you either go with them and control when DD gets brought home (to help alleviate how late they get home) or you tell MIL no.  There's really no good way to avoid the potential of coming off mean or possibly hurting her feelings.  Just try and explain that she really needs to go to bed at the same time (or if you don't have a set bedtime just say something like a "reasonable time for a 5 week old") or it messes with her schedule and upsets her.   

    You're the mom, you're going to have to put your foot down on this one.  Maybe having DH talk to her would help lessen the blow?

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  • imageilenegrace:
    Your MIL is taking your 5wk old baby somewhere without you? Wow maybe next time you should go with them that way you can control what is going on with your baby.

    THIS. I really don't even take my 5wk old out on my own because I feel like she is still so tiny, but I would definitely not let anyone else take her out without me being there. You can't worry about hurting her feelings by telling her that she can't take her out or to relax on these unannounced visits. You can say that your DD is cranky when she brings her out and that you want to limit her outings because she is still very little, etc. You are the mother and everyone else has to follow your rules. Good luck

  • imagemama2many:

    imageilenegrace:
    Your MIL is taking your 5wk old baby somewhere without you? Wow maybe next time you should go with them that way you can control what is going on with your baby.

    This - um, my babies don't go anywhere without me until they are several months old. NO WAY would someone take my 1 mo old anywhere. 

    All of this. I can't imagine letting someone take my LO out for the evening without me. 

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  • imagetwister22:
    imagemama2many:

    imageilenegrace:
    Your MIL is taking your 5wk old baby somewhere without you? Wow maybe next time you should go with them that way you can control what is going on with your baby.

    This - um, my babies don't go anywhere without me until they are several months old. NO WAY would someone take my 1 mo old anywhere. 

    All of this. I can't imagine letting someone take my LO out for the evening without me. 



    Ditto. LO and I barely leave the house. I won't run errands if I'm going to be away from her more then an hour. Dh doesn't even take her places. Its way to soon to be going out w/o you.
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  • I wouldn't let my MIL (or anyone for that matter) take my newborn anywhere without me.  Just tell her no.  If she gives you crap, then that is her problem, not yours.  

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  • imagemama2many:

    imageilenegrace:
    Your MIL is taking your 5wk old baby somewhere without you? Wow maybe next time you should go with them that way you can control what is going on with your baby.

    This - um, my babies don't go anywhere without me until they are several months old. NO WAY would someone take my 1 mo old anywhere. 

    All of this. My family-in-law don't like this much, but tough. Don't let MIL take the baby anywhere, and if it's not avoidable, then don't let her take her anywhere past X time. You are in control of your child.  

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