SAHM blues?

tartertots9725 · January 2013

I should start off by saying I love being a SAHM and wouldn't change it for the world! But sometimes I think I get a little bit of the SAHM blues. Lately, DS has been not listening at all and having horrible temper tantrums. Our dog has been acting out and even the cat has been a pain. DH's hours have been different every week and he was sick the last few weeks so I've been super stressed. I just feel like I can't ever get enough done. I'm embarrassed to admit this but I think I thought being a SAHM would be easier. That I would have this spotless house and be a trophy wife Stick out tongue
I barely have time to keep the house clean and have very little time for myself.
DH is great and always helps but I think part of me just wants to feel accomplished at the end of the day and sometimes that's hard when I have a cranky baby, a messy house, school work to finish, and just no energy for anything else.
I feel guilty because DS has such bad temper tantrums and has no patience. He still says very few words and I feel like I'm not educating him enough. Sad
Ok, I'm just rambling now...does anyone else ever feel this way? I think part of it is it being the winter so it's harder to want to go out with DS. I can't wait til Spring when we will have a lot more activities we can do.

kellyrs89 · January 2013

I feel the same way a lot of the time. The house never looks as clean as I want it to, even though I feel like in picking up toys, food and clothes all day long. With A's short temper and tantrums I can barely get up and go pee, let alone cook or clean, without her having a total meltdown. We can't leave the house very often either, we don't live in a very baby friendly town. And everything we can do, like museums and such, are way to expensive for us.

The educating part gets to me too. Our pedi said she should have 10 to 20 words that she uses regularly by 18 months. That only about 2 months away and the only words she uses regularly are kitty and daddy. And even those aren't that clear. I feel like I can be doing more for her but don't know what or how.

tartertots9725 · January 2013

kellyrs89:
I feel the same way a lot of the time. The house never looks as clean as I want it to, even though I feel like in picking up toys, food and clothes all day long. With A's short temper and tantrums I can barely get up and go pee, let alone cook or clean, without her having a total meltdown. We can't leave the house very often either, we don't live in a very baby friendly town. And everything we can do, like museums and such, are way to expensive for us. The educating part gets to me too. Our pedi said she should have 10 to 20 words that she uses regularly by 18 months. That only about 2 months away and the only words she uses regularly are kitty and daddy. And even those aren't that clear. I feel like I can be doing more for her but don't know what or how.

I know what you mean! I try to get him to say "up" when I pick him up but he just gets so frustrated. I feel like when I encourage him to say words he gets so upset and won't even try. I don't know what to do! Sad

missbrightside10 · January 2013

I definitely have the SAHM blues every now and then. I think this is a normal feeling. There are days when I feel like supermom and days where I feel like I am not enough.

As far as educating, I honestly feel like there is too much pressure for our children to be baby geniuses. They are 1, let them be 1! They learn the best by playing their own way, watching, exploring ... just being a kid! I am always amazed at what Max learns without me actually teaching him. I just play and have fun with him. I don't have lessons or flash cards, just me, and I think he is doing just fine.

I know when I am feeling particularly blue that is a clue for me to do something for myself. I am not always the best at following my advice but we all need time for ourselves every now and then!

CMheart1011 · January 2013

I definitely feel this way sometimes. A lot of times lately! It's rough with DH on nights and me having so much time alone with L. This age takes a lot of patience, and some days I just don't feel like I have enough. I feel guilty for not enjoying her as much as I should when I'm low on sleep and she's fighting me on everything and I just want a 10 minute mommy timeout! I do think winter has a lot to do with it. I work more in the summer and it's easier to get out and do things. Being cooped up in the house means the house is constantly messy and my OCD self can't handle it!

Tulips114 · January 2013

Yes, I feel the same way. I could have written this post! I thought I would have so much more time and be bored staying home. Nope, not even close. I feel like I am never done with everything I need to do. I have no idea how anything is going to get done when 2.0 gets here.

tartertots9725 · January 2013

Tulips114:
Yes, I feel the same way. I could have written this post! I thought I would have so much more time and be bored staying home. Nope, not even close. I feel like I am never done with everything I need to do. I have no idea how anything is going to get done when 2.0 gets here.

HOLY SMOKES TULIP! You are full term next week! You pregnant mamas are blowing my mind with how far along you are! That's exciting!

Also, you ladies rock! It's so nice to have a group of women with babies the same age who really understand what I'm going through. You all made me feel better. Let's hope the weather warms up soon and we can get out of this funk! Smile

Tulips114 · January 2013

missbrightside10:
As far as educating, I honestly feel like there is too much pressure for our children to be baby geniuses. They are 1, let them be 1! They learn the best by playing their own way, watching, exploring ... just being a kid! I am always amazed at what Max learns without me actually teaching him. I just play and have fun with him. I don't have lessons or flash cards, just me, and I think he is doing just fine.

This is so true and so hard for me to remember. This actually made me tear up a little. Ugh, stupid hormones.

Tulips114 · January 2013

tartertots9725:
Tulips114:
Yes, I feel the same way. I could have written this post! I thought I would have so much more time and be bored staying home. Nope, not even close. I feel like I am never done with everything I need to do. I have no idea how anything is going to get done when 2.0 gets here.

HOLY SMOKES TULIP! You are full term next week! You pregnant mamas are blowing my mind with how far along you are! That's exciting!

Also, you ladies rock! It's so nice to have a group of women with babies the same age who really understand what I'm going through. You all made me feel better. Let's hope the weather warms up soon and we can get out of this funk!

I can't believe how fast this pregnancy went by! It's very exciting, but I am so nervous!

becasmeca · January 2013

missbrightside10:
I definitely have the SAHM blues every now and then. I think this is a normal feeling. There are days when I feel like supermom and days where I feel like I am not enough.
As far as educating, I honestly feel like there is too much pressure for our children to be baby geniuses. They are 1, let them be 1! They learn the best by playing their own way, watching, exploring ... just being a kid! I am always amazed at what Max learns without me actually teaching him. I just play and have fun with him. I don't have lessons or flash cards, just me, and I think he is doing just fine.
I know when I am feeling particularly blue that is a clue for me to do something for myself. I am not always the best at following my advice but we all need time for ourselves every now and then!

applause photo applause.gif

SO WELL SAID!

You are such a sweet person! I needed the "He is 1. Let him be 1" line tonight!

tartertots9725 · January 2013

becasmeca:
missbrightside10:
I definitely have the SAHM blues every now and then. I think this is a normal feeling. There are days when I feel like supermom and days where I feel like I am not enough.
As far as educating, I honestly feel like there is too much pressure for our children to be baby geniuses. They are 1, let them be 1! They learn the best by playing their own way, watching, exploring ... just being a kid! I am always amazed at what Max learns without me actually teaching him. I just play and have fun with him. I don't have lessons or flash cards, just me, and I think he is doing just fine.
I know when I am feeling particularly blue that is a clue for me to do something for myself. I am not always the best at following my advice but we all need time for ourselves every now and then!
SO WELL SAID!
You are such a sweet person! I needed the "He is 1. Let him be 1" line tonight!

Hahaha! You and your gifs, Becca! and I agree, MissBrightside is awesome. Her reply was so sweet and really made me feel better Smile

missbrightside10 · January 2013

tartertots9725:
becasmeca:
missbrightside10:
I definitely have the SAHM blues every now and then. I think this is a normal feeling. There are days when I feel like supermom and days where I feel like I am not enough.
As far as educating, I honestly feel like there is too much pressure for our children to be baby geniuses. They are 1, let them be 1! They learn the best by playing their own way, watching, exploring ... just being a kid! I am always amazed at what Max learns without me actually teaching him. I just play and have fun with him. I don't have lessons or flash cards, just me, and I think he is doing just fine.
I know when I am feeling particularly blue that is a clue for me to do something for myself. I am not always the best at following my advice but we all need time for ourselves every now and then!
SO WELL SAID!
You are such a sweet person! I needed the "He is 1. Let him be 1" line tonight!

Hahaha! You and your gifs, Becca! and I agree, MissBrightside is awesome. Her reply was so sweet and really made me feel better

Glad to help ladies! We are all doing our best, I truly believe that!

becasmeca · January 2013

I feel like all good moms go through a period of blues...it makes us reevaluate and feel if something needs to be changed, or in your case, feel pride and affirmation that you are enough--have done enough and this is just C's story!

Bo is the same way! He does not have many words BUT! When he does speak he says them with clarity; his diction is right on point and it sounds like a little man talking! I beat myself up sometimes because I have taken him to book babies since he was 4 months, read to him countless times a day, explain everything I do, we sing, cook, feel, yada-yada-yada! I told my older sister all of this, and her response was "...maybe you are talking too much, let him speak!" HaHa touche my sister!

I have to remember Bo takes it all in...He understands so much more than I know he knows...What I am doing is asking Bowen more questions instead fo telling him what is going on. I AM AMAZED in his responses! Last week I was just talking about where his popper toy was? We were 3 levels downstairs-- I asked him to follow me upstairs... he runs ahead of me, goes into his room, opens his sesame street kitchen and LOOK! there was the popper toy! How long was it there? Look at that hippocampus work!!! I was so impressed with his memory! This story is one for the books, and one I will never forget.

Chase knows tarter...he knows so much because you have taught him enough. He may just be taking it all in, and one day he will speak in sentences or start spewing words! When Bo was/ is having meltdown city I try and understand what it would be like to know so much, but not have a way to communicate the knowledge! I know the word.. but cannot speak! this big red thing in my mouth is not working and all i want o say is Milk or outside or Bruce!! but I cannot soooo...

WAAA Crying !!! This sucks! How hard for our babies?!?!

I appreciate you sharing your SAHM blues. I have them. I hate it. It is such a scary place to sit on my bed and wonder "what in the world did I do"? The great news is...tomorrow is a new day! Most times a hot cup of tea, a bath, and some alone time with my buzzer will fo the trick Wink Try it! tarter, the house is clean enough, and you are an outstanding trophy taking care of your H! now wonder you are exhausted! And school? How in the world do you do it?

I love what brightside said about doing something for yourself. If you can, break away for even 45 minutes! Take care of yourself.... and KNOW you are more than enough--doing more than enough--will continue to do more for C.

Lots of SAHM love for you and your boys! I am really oroud of you Big Smile

tartertots9725 · January 2013

becasmeca:
I feel like all good moms go through a period of blues...it makes us reevaluate and feel if something needs to be changed, or in your case, feel pride and affirmation that you are enough--have done enough and this is just C's story!
Bo is the same way! He does not have many words BUT! When he does speak he says them with clarity; his diction is right on point and it sounds like a little man talking! I beat myself up sometimes because I have taken him to book babies since he was 4 months, read to him countless times a day, explain everything I do, we sing, cook, feel, yada-yada-yada! I told my older sister all of this, and her response was "...maybe you are talking too much, let him speak!" HaHa touche my sister!
I have to remember Bo takes it all in...He understands so much more than I know he knows...What I am doing is asking Bowen more questions instead fo telling him what is going on. I AM AMAZED in his responses! Last week I was just talking about where his popper toy was? We were 3 levels downstairs-- I asked him to follow me upstairs... he runs ahead of me, goes into his room, opens his sesame street kitchen and LOOK! there was the popper toy! How long was it there? Look at that hippocampus work!!! I was so impressed with his memory! This story is one for the books, and one I will never forget.
Chase knows tarter...he knows so much because you have taught him enough. He may just be taking it all in, and one day he will speak in sentences or start spewing words! When Bo was/ is having meltdown city I try and understand what it would be like to know so much, but not have a way to communicate the knowledge! I know the word.. but cannot speak! this big red thing in my mouth is not working and all i want o say is Milk or outside or Bruce!! but I cannot soooo...
WAAA !!! This sucks! How hard for our babies?!?!
I appreciate you sharing your SAHM blues. I have them. I hate it. It is such a scary place to sit on my bed and wonder "what in the world did I do"? The great news is...tomorrow is a new day! Most times a hot cup of tea, a bath, and some alone time with my buzzer will fo the trick Try it! tarter, the house is clean enough, and you are an outstanding trophy taking care of your H! now wonder you are exhausted! And school? How in the world do you do it?
I love what brightside said about doing something for yourself. If you can, break away for even 45 minutes! Take care of yourself.... and KNOW you are more than enough--doing more than enough--will continue to do more for C.
Lots of SAHM love for you and your boys! I am really oroud of you

What would S11 do without you, Becca? You always give such thoughtful responses. I love it! You are simply amazing!

And alone time with your buzzer? Hahaha You crack me up! Smile I agree, I think I need some good alone Mommy time.

You ladies made me realize that we are all doing our bests and shouldn't be so hard on ourselves. What would I ever do without this group of women?

manda26 · January 2013

Hang in there sister! Its totally normal and I bet has more to do with it being winter then you think. I try and remind myself if I was still a working mom I would still have good and bad days, actually I had more bad days then good when I was working. I don't know how you add school on top of this SAHM thing!

I just said to H last night that I hope I do enough for O in terms of him learning and socializing. We have a music class and mommy n me and I try to do 1 playdate a week with friends. Weekends we see family, and he plays with his cousins. So that is a bit for a SAH kid. Now I'm making an effort to do 1 project a week, thanks to pinterest and the dollar store! Nothing crazy, even just putting valentines day stickers on something or glueing cheerios to paper.

I barely get me time either, but when H is home I take extra long showers which always helps. I also like to run an errand alone when he is with O. I get to drive alone with the radio blasting and sometimes don't take the fastest route back, try it!

O has some words but obviously id like him to have more. I try to always point things out but not "force" him to repeat or say it. When he wants up I say "up? You want up?" And I know soon he will get it. If he says one of his versions of a word my speach therapist friend told me just to say back to him the right way to say it.. his version of balloon is "oon" so I tell him the real word every time.

Wow that's a novel. But you're doing a great job! This is hard work!

tartertots9725 · January 2013

Thank you so much ladies. I really can't even express how much I appreciate all your feedback. You all made me feel better and realize that it's ok to have bad day sometimes. Smile

bluejetta · January 2013

I'm only home 2 days a week with N and I wanted to add that mums who are home all the time have my utter respect and admiration. I know how wonderful and how challenging it is to have total care for these amazing little people and I just wanted to say to Tarter and others please do give yourselves SO much credit even on the hard days for keeping our kids happy and healthy. I do believe there is no harder work.

mnewlee · January 2013

I can't add much that these other, amazing, ladies haven't already said.
I just wanted to add my voice to say yep, I struggle with the SAHM blues, too. I've really been struggling since we moved and I'm so isolated because I don't know anyone here.

I think the simple fact that you're worrying you're not doing enough/good enough means that you probably are. I know bad moms, they don't worry about being bad moms.

Yasiris1105 · January 2013

Oh Tarter don't worry. I feel like that too and I don't do school work! I get desperate when Matt get so clingy or just want to missbehave that I think I just have to spend the day dealing with him. I get tired of saying NO all the time. Then I try to keep the house nice but witg Matt throwing his toys all around is so difficult. Everything might at least be clean but organized? Not so much and then to think about what to cook on the afternoon. Sometime I feel I don't spend enough time with Matt trying to keep the house nice... Don't worry sweety we have our days. Really to take a day "off" to only spend time with you LO and forget the house is ok once in a while.

Yasiris1105 · January 2013

Oh and Missbrightside said it perfect! When I see how much some of you LO are talking or doing some stuff I feel like I'm not doing something... but is true, he is only 1 and he does his stuff... Sometimes I think I excpect to much

linzica · January 2013

I'm with you sister.

I always wanted to be a SAHM, but I always wanted to be working from home too. But that is really really hard! When I do get work in, I can't find the time to do it, but I feel like a lazy bum if I'm not doing something to contribute to our income. My house is not clean and most nights I make easy dinners. I thought I was going to be super woman, having all this time, but I am tired all the time, chasing my little monkey around.

Want a personalized experience?

SAHM blues?

Re: SAHM blues?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards