Pregnant after 35
Flygirlred
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Pregnant at 38 but so scared of losing my little nugget...
Flygirlred
member
We just found out I am pregnant for the first time last week. We are SO excited but a wave of fear has taken over. I have this awful fear I will miscarry. I have read so many articles saying how high the risk is at my age and during the 1st trimester. I don't even want to hit the gym or be very social just in case. How do I talk myself off the crazy ledge and back to sanity?? I appreciate any and all advice 
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Re: Pregnant at 38 but so scared of losing my little nugget...
I miscarried my first pregnancy after sering the heartbeat and it was awful. I'm sometimes afraid to be overly excited even though I'm now 14 weeks!
However, the constant nausea and vomiting and the fact that my pants don't fit despite losing 10 to 15 pounds... all keep reminding me to relax and enjoy the ride! This is a different pregnancy.
Enjoy that you are pregnant today!
BFP #1 5/27/12- m/c 7/9/12 @ 10w2d (cytotec induced @11w).
Fibroids, Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism
BFP #2 11/18/12 EDD 7/27/13
I understand how you feel excited but worried at the same time. I had so much anxiety about miscarrying . It's hard not to worry, esp at our age. And for a while on the BMBs you see posts of ladies who have lost their LOs, it's heartbreaking and makes you realize it could absolutely happen to you.
BUT. The fact is that the overwhelming majority of us go on to have healthy, thriving pregnancies. Odds are you are probably going to be just fine. And, people always focus on 1st tri being the riskiest time. But once you see baby's heartbeat on ultrasound at 8 weeks or so, risk of miscarriage actually drops to less than 5 percent.
Hang in there, you'll start to worry less soon. At least I did.
Yes, like the PP said, STOP reading yucky stuff on the interwebs. I totally understand your fears though and it stinks.
I am 38 and will be having my baby girl next week. There are ladies on here older than me that have had uneventful/healthy pregnancies too. Don't let your age scare you.
Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months! Good Luck!
BFP #1 - missed m/c 4.18.11 found @8w3d, d&c @13w
BFP #2 blighted ovum found 8.2011 @8w, misoprostol
BFP#3 - missed m/c 6.11.12 @ 9w3d, d&c revealed extra chromosome 15
BFP#4 8.10.12, DD born 4/26/13
I too agree with PPs. Stop listening to everyone else and reading random articles. I did what you did when I found out I was pregnant at 36. Everyone kept telling me that after 35 you are considered high risk by age alone. I thought back to my mother having my brother 24 years ago at age 38 and all of the fire drills they put her through regarding amnios, downs scares, etc. Then I realized I'm extremely healthy (probably more healthy than most 25 y.o.) and felt great. I still do almost the exact same workouts I did pre pregnancy and feel great. Thankfully, I have had no issues with this pregnancy with the exception of the regular annoying pregnancy symptoms.
Some things cannot be avoided and you should deal with them as they arise. We are going to have a lifetime to worry about our LOs. Until then, a positive outlook will most likely do wonders for your experience. Don't let fear overshadow what is such an exciting time!
BTW...I live in an apartment building in Manhattan and I will be the youngest mom on the floor. We have 3 other kids under the age of 3 on the floor and they are all healthy, happy and smart and they were all born to mothers over the age of 40 various ways (IUI, IVF, naturally).
Thanks for all the advice. Sometimes all you need to hear are great words of encouragement from other strong women in the same boat.
Thank you again ..
Me: 38, DH: 40 | Married April 2012 | TTC since October 2012
DX: Hypothyroid, DOR, Right Tube Blocked, Uterine Fibroid (awaiting hysteroscopy) | DH: Beta Thal Minor, ED (Cialis)
OCT - DEC 2012 | TI | BFN
JAN 2013 | BFP ~ EDD 9/23/13
MAR 2013 | MMC due to Trisomy 10 ~ D&E MAR. 8
APR - JUN 2013 | TTA
JUL - NOV 2013 | TI | BFN
NOV 2013 | HSG & SHG ~ Right Tube Blocked & "Thickening" of Uterus
DEC 2013 - JAN 2014 | NTNP | BFN ~ Switched to new practice
JAN - FEB 2014 | 3-D u/s & SHG ~ Uterine Fibroid ~ Awaiting Hysteroscopy
***All Are Welcome!***
I agree with this...so much is beyond our control you have to just let go and hope (or pray) for the best. I am still very early in my PG so I have anxiety also so I understand.
My mom had me at 41, and everything was fine. Now, I'm in the same situation. I'm 42 and will be delivering at 43! I've had no problems with this pregnancy at all (knock on wood!)
Don't worry about the "odds" at our age. For example, at my age (5 years older than you) my Downs chances were 1:40. I know it sounds really bad, but really for every 100 babies born, only 2-3 will have Down's and 97% will be fine. Try to focus on the upside of the odds. It seems from all the tests, my LO should be fine. Try not to worry!
**DD1 - 7/9/98**
**DS - 11/9/00**
**DD2 - 4/30/13**
Don't fret. I know that it's way easier said than done because I'm 39 and will be 40 when I have my first baby and I stressed all the way up until I was 20 weeks.
If you have any kind of morning sickness or aversion use that to remind yourself that you're just going to be a happy healthy mommy. Every time I would dry heave over something ridiculous my husband would make it a point to remind me that I'm obviously still pregnant. Make your SO do the same for you and enjoy the ride.
I'm 38 hubby is 40 we both have birthdays next month. I thought it would take forever to become pregnant since we are older. Nope not at all. I have also been so paranoid especially since my sil has a Down's syndrome boy who is in his 20s now but so worried. I have been slowly calming down but it is hard. I have no MC either. Just went for my US yesterday at 7 weeks 5 days and saw heartbeat. I am a little better now that I have seen our little peanut but the worry is still there. I try to not be crazy. My hubby carries the hay for me to feed the horses so I don't have to lift heavy things I am trying to eat better. Very picky eater here. Stopped soda caffeine but had one pepsin since I found out 12.30.
Dont worry u r not alone!!!!!!
Congrats on the pregnancy!
I'm 19 weeks pregnant with my first child; turned 39 last week. No problems at all so far.
I know what you mean, though. I was so afraid that I wouldn't let myself really think about being pregnant until only recently. Now, with my belly popping out and none of my clothes fitting, it feels sort of amazing to be forced to admit that I'm really and truly pregnant.
I don't have any advice. I used to go to the bathroom many times a day just to check and make sure there was no blood in my underwear. Every time I felt sick, I was glad because it meant I was pregnant. I told myself that not knowing & worrying is part of being a mom and won't stop when I reach a particular milestone, but that didn't really change my worry.
I did have an early miscarriage back last spring. I was weirdly brave then, and every day I was able to put aside fear and embrace that particular moment of motherhood. And when I felt a change in my body and considered that this might be the end, I was brave for the sake of this baby that wouldn't be mine; I wanted it to have a strong, courageous mother, even if just for a few days or weeks.
I guess I shared that last bit because it's the sort of thing worry doesn't touch. Worry is irrelevant if your baby is healthy (which it will likely be), and also irrelevant if this pregnancy doesn't last. Either way, you will discover that worry was pointless and profitless & couldn't touch the truth of the matter.
There are some good, encouraging sites out there for moms over 35. Maybe take a look at-- https://www.inseasonmom.org/
This advice helped me a few weeks ago. Change to 1st person for mantra.
"You are pregnant until you are not! You are pregnant until there is indisputable evidence to the contrary. You will have a wonderful and healthy baby."
If you are a numbers person, this might help. It let's you worry less earlier in the 1st trimester: After heartbeat is detected, risk of miscarriage is 9.4% at 6wks; 4.2% at 7wks; 1.5% at 8wks; 0.5% at 9wks.