Birth moms: what was your placed kid's 1st bday like for you?

Re: Birth moms: what was your placed kid's 1st bday like for you?

• Ginny0211 member

  January 2013

  I apologize in advance for writing a novel. I tired not to.

  My birthson's parent's brought my birthson over to my parent's for his first birthday. My parents and siblings were there to celebrate with us. We celebrated with presents and I think some cupcakes. We also looked at a bunch of his baby pictures and did some reminiscing while we were just amazed at how he had grown so much so fast. 

  His parents dropped him off. His mom was so sweet and offered to drop him off so we could spend some time with him. They went to see a movie I think and then joined us later. I love visiting with his parents, but It was nice to be the one to take care of him for an afternoon and focus just on him. It was nice to not worry about if I would cry or not and be able to talk about my feelings with my family. I love my birthson's parents, but other than at the hospital, I have never cried in front of them or opened up about how I was feeling. I always excused myself to the bathroom to compose myself so they would not see me sad. So anyway it was nice to not worry if my face was looking sad and just let myself feel what I was feeling with no fake smile covering it up. 
  
  I had a couple moments of being sad and got my much needed hugs from my family when they saw my face and knew what I was thinking, but it really was mostly just a GREAT day because I got to see him and we are so happy he entered into our lives. 

  We usually have a visit each year around his birthday. Rarely do we see him on his birthday or on his birthday weekend now because he is a busy boy with his own social life . I always send a card in the mail and on his birthday I always stop and think about the day he was born and when I held him in my arms for the very first time. Sometimes this makes me sad since the stay in the hospital was of course also a very sad time mixed with the joy of meeting him, but mostly on his birthday I'm just happy because we are so glad he was born and so glad he's in our lives. 

   ETA: Happy Birthday (in advance) to your Little One! 

  

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• mmine87

  January 2013

  For the month before my youngest sons birthday I was a mess... My mom rolled her eyes at me when I started decroating for christmas nov. 1st.; His birthday is nov. 3rd.I cried many times a day. Then his birthday came and I was numb. I didnt cry. I didnt do anything. I was talking up how I was going to get drunk and cry my feelings away. I did nothing. 

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• mnmello member

  January 2013

  The first birthday sucked a lot for me. It was awfully hard, I cried a lot and was in a funk for most of that month as I remembered the last weeks of being pregnant, the hospital experience and the first few weeks of DD's life and my new life as a BM. 

  And every year after that sucks. It gets a little easier each year - but it still sucks. I know that when February approaches - I go into a bit of a funk - but I'll be OK. Usually I take her birthday off from work and just let me experience the day - whether that means I want to look through pictures, go pamper myself or whatever - I don't want to be chained to do one thing that I may not feel like.

  I'm even luckier now that I have a DH that loves helping me through that day. He usually gets me flowers or something special to honor DD and the choice made - because he knows it's a hard day for me. That's sweet of him.

   

   

  

  DD placed in open adoption 2/2007
  

  Married in 5/2010

  DD 5/2015
  DS 3/2016
  EDD 4/29/19

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• GirlOn1stAnd10

  January 2013

  I'm still pregnant so this is way in the future for me, but we also have a super open relationship with our AP and we agreed that for her birthdays we would have our time with her, then have a small party just me, FI, my older daughter, my mom and AP. Then they would have a party with the APs family that we would be invited to. As shs gets older and has "real" birthdays, we would just take her for a afternoon while the APs set up, then have one big collective party. Maybe see if your APs are willing to work something like this out?

  

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