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Should I let her?

aeasterl0320aeasterl0320
in Baby Showers
I'm currently pregnant with 2, and share the mindset that baby showers after 1 are pretty tacky. My best friend offered to throw me one, but we decided on a meet and greet after she was born instead.

Today, my mother in law asks me to change my mind because she knows a few people that would like to come people who I have never met in my life. I would normally say no and keep with my original plan, but then she reminded me she wasn't present for baby shower 1 not her fault, she lived out of state at the time My question is, should I just suck it up and let her throw me a shower? Or should I stick with the original plan and have a meet and greet after the fact? Thank you all for the advice. =

P.S. I'm sorry, I should have introduced myself. I have been a lurker on the bump for quite some time and usually only surface to ask dire questions such as this one =
Dx PCOS July 2011 BFP 07/28/2012, Due 04/09/2013 Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFruit Ticker
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Re: Should I let her?

  • aeasterl0320aeasterl0320
    I'm sorry, there were number symbols in there to indicate the word number, but I'm bumping from my phone so apparently my phone ate the symbols before posting. Also the same with parentheses around certain statements. Not quite sure how to fix that.
    Dx PCOS July 2011 BFP 07/28/2012, Due 04/09/2013 Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFruit Ticker
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  • aeasterl0320aeasterl0320
    Thank you. My first instinct was to say no because she told me to take whatever I could get and that just rubbed me the wrong way and made me angry. I felt as if she was implying that I needed her help to get everything I needed. I guess I just got hung up on the part that she missed the first one.
    Dx PCOS July 2011 BFP 07/28/2012, Due 04/09/2013 Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFruit Ticker
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  • katiebeneskatiebenes member
    wait "take whatever you can get"... thats a way to make it sound horrible awful
    Eat your food people. You are pregnant, not made of glass. ~PrimRoseMama
    The Benes Boys were born 9/3/13! woooo
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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    imagesomerandomchick:
    I would still say no... You're supposed to ask people you've never met in your life for gifts for a second child?! I'd say that probably just makes it worse. Your MIL could maybe plan a brunch for 'her' friends to show off her grandbabies after this one arrives though. That's probably what I'd do if my MIL really wanted to celebrate with her friends.
    This is where I'm at.

    She missed your first shower.  She clearly wishes she could have been there.  That's sweet.  But here's the thing - the shower wasn't about her. It was about YOU.  It's honestly kind of ridiculous to have another shower when you aren't comfortable doing so because SHE missed your first shower.

    While grandmoms are usually invited and usually come - they aren't "must attend" guests.  They really aren't.  It's not about her. 

    And her attitude about 'get everything you can' is just tacky.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • RibbitGrl930RibbitGrl930 member
    I agree with PP. You clearly are not comfortable with having another shower, and it really is about you, not her. If she truly wants to help contribute in some way to a celebration for your new LO, I'd offer to let her assist with your meet and greet if she would like. I know these tend to be more informal than showers, but surely there is something she could take charge of to feel like she is at least co-hostessing something for you- food, decorations, helping clean your home, etc. This would satisfy both of you- you don't suffer through a shower you never wanted to have, and she gets to contribute to the celebration of her grandchild. And if she laments that it is not an actual "shower," I would point out that anybody who wants to may end up bringing a gift anyway, but that you are more comfortable leaving the option up to them by leaving the word "shower" off the table.
     
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  • RedLipstick69RedLipstick69 member
    I'd let her. You don't have to invite the same people who attended the first shower.

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  • aeasterl0320aeasterl0320
    Thank you all for your responses, you have definitely made me feel better about wanting to say no! I will let her help set up the meet and greet, maybe then she won't feel left out.
    Dx PCOS July 2011 BFP 07/28/2012, Due 04/09/2013 Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFruit Ticker
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  • blush64blush64 member

    If you don't agree with showers after 1 I think you should turn it down. Let her know she can invite those people to the meet and greet if that would help the situation.

    I am not against second showers. I think it depends on what is usually done and what makes you comfortable. If you felt fine about it you probably wouldn't be here asking about it.

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