Daycare And Always Sick

thatgirlnicki · January 2013

I've never posted here, but I would love the opinion of some other working mothers. My 9 month old son has been in a daycare center 4 days/week since 5 months old. He has also been sick non-stop since then...I reallly mean non-stop. If a week goes by without a trip to the doctor- it's a celebration in our house. The only times he has gotten better were when we kept him home for at least a week straight. He hasn't had anything terribly serious, just cold after cold, bronchiolitis once, a few ear infections.

I do feel there are too many kids in too small of a space at his daycare so we are moving him to an in-home daycare in 2 weeks. I am just wondering if there is something wrong with my son or if this is completely normal. The doctor says it's just daycare and the daycare says it's just a really bad winter (we live in NJ). It just breaks my heart to see him so miserable at least 1-2 days/week when he comes down with something new. And it adds to my constant guilt about working.

Please, please don't point out that I shoudl have breastfeed him. I tried desperately to do that, almost to the point of insanity, and I was not able. I still feel guilty about it so pointing this out will not help me. I really just wonder what's normal for other parents of little ones. Thank you so much for your thoughts.

boggs507 · January 2013

I agree with it being a terrible winter (I live in Chicago). My son was cared for in a home-setting until he was about 14 months and was rarely sick, but as soon as we put him in daycare it seemed like he was always sick - we made a few adjustments to his diet, which seemed to help, but this winter has been horrendous for us.

He's had a cold since...at least November and started bringing them home to me in December. I'm now on my 2nd sinus infection in 2 months. It's just the season we're in and hopefully once it warms up you'll see an improvement.

July18Bride · January 2013

I have a similar issue. We switched to in-home for this reason as well, I felt like the centers were a little over crowded and high turn over for the staff. DS has gotten sick with a very high fever 3 times in the past 9 weeks. Even though our day care policy states we have to pay 100% while they are sick, he has been so sick that they cut us a break and gave us a week free of charge (which is so generous and re-confirms why I love our day care provider). We are going to a specialist because its the same sickness (tonsillits) every time, so we may have to get them removed. If it was a different kind of sickness each time, there isn't too much you can do. Our pedi suggested to make sure we are giving DS a well balanced diet, offering fluids often and making sure he gets enough rest. That combined with hand washing more often and over all cleanliness...there isn't much more you can do than that.

ridesbuttons · January 2013

I remember when I was putting DS1 into daycare, my doctor warned me to expect him to be sick the first two weeks of each month and the last 2 weeks of each month for 6 months or so.

He was bang on.

Now DS1 is in SK (his second year of school up here). He has yet to miss a day of school due to illness.

ETA: There is no need to feel guilty about not breastfeeding. Futhermore, who would even know this tidbit unless you volunteered it?

jennyelf · January 2013

Don't worry or beat yourself up. My 8m breastfed baby has been in DC since 13 weeks and any week where he stays in all 5 days and doesn't have to come home early or have one of us stay home with him is a week we celebrate. We don't have a lot of those weeks....

I will say we don't bother bringing him to the doctor unless the fever has lasted longer than a few days or if he has pink eye and needs antibiotics. General coughs and running nose w/o a fever mean both daycare and no doctor. Doctor said this is pretty normal and that basically from Nov to March this is the way it's going to be for us.

thatgirlnicki · January 2013

Thanks. You are right about the breastfeeding...for some reason it's just unresolved with me. I wouldn't say we take him to the doctor just for colds. I should clarify. He has had ear infections at least monthly since October and he has asthma. So we are usually there becuase we suspect an ear infection or we are concerned about his breathing. Otherwise, we do try to let the cold run its course.

lrn327 · January 2013

mainerocks:
My breastfed LO was sick a LOT the first winter... and the two subsequent winters as well. I just figure at this rate, he'll have had everything and will be super healthy for the rest of time )

All of this right here. And I haven't been on this particular board for too long, but honestly, this is probably the last place that anyone would jump on your case about not BFing. I know it's hard, but you've got to let that go. Hang in there and hope your new in-home DC can provide you guys with a bit of a break. It sounds like you need it!! Wink

lrn327 · January 2013

thatgirlnicki:
Thanks. You are right about the breastfeeding...for some reason it's just unresolved with me. I wouldn't say we take him to the doctor just for colds. I should clarify. He has had ear infections at least monthly since October and he has asthma. So we are usually there becuase we suspect an ear infection or we are concerned about his breathing. Otherwise, we do try to let the cold run its course.

That many ear infections already? Any talk of tubes yet? DS had them at 13 months and they were a miracle for us!

thatgirlnicki · January 2013

lrn327:
thatgirlnicki:
Thanks. You are right about the breastfeeding...for some reason it's just unresolved with me. I wouldn't say we take him to the doctor just for colds. I should clarify. He has had ear infections at least monthly since October and he has asthma. So we are usually there becuase we suspect an ear infection or we are concerned about his breathing. Otherwise, we do try to let the cold run its course.

That many ear infections already? Any talk of tubes yet? DS had them at 13 months and they were a miracle for us!

They said one more ear infection and he will be sent to ENT for tubes.. He currently has fluid in one ear which is likely to become an infection...so ticking time bomb. I hate for him to have surgery, but I'd welcome anything that would give him relief from the pain of ear infections (and relief for us with lack of sleep!).

lrn327 · January 2013

thatgirlnicki:
lrn327:
thatgirlnicki:
Thanks. You are right about the breastfeeding...for some reason it's just unresolved with me. I wouldn't say we take him to the doctor just for colds. I should clarify. He has had ear infections at least monthly since October and he has asthma. So we are usually there becuase we suspect an ear infection or we are concerned about his breathing. Otherwise, we do try to let the cold run its course.

That many ear infections already? Any talk of tubes yet? DS had them at 13 months and they were a miracle for us!
They said one more ear infection and he will be sent to ENT for tubes.. He currently has fluid in one ear which is likely to become an infection...so ticking time bomb. I hate for him to have surgery, but I'd welcome anything that would give him relief from the pain of ear infections (and relief for us with lack of sleep!).

So sorry about this. I know how you feel. We were on #5 (and had one more to go too) but couldn't shake the 5th after three types of antibiotics. At that, he was labeled "chronic" and had tubes a week later. Again, a miracle. Thinking of your child going under is very hard, but the surgery is very easy, and for us was totally worth it.

preggersin2011 · January 2013

It depends upon the child. LO has only been sent home twice in over a year that she's been there and is almost never sick with a head cold. There have been kids there were pulled out because their parents didn't have any more 'sick' days at their work since their respective child was being sent home 1-2 times a week. LO shared germs with those kids too....

not saying it is, but it could be diet related too. LO eats tons of fresh veggies and fruit. The kids that i see who have colds all the time eat jarred food.

DTNZ4Ever · January 2013

The first year was the worst. DS was sick for 3 healthy for 1 rotation. Since that first year he has been rarely sick. He may have a runny nose for a day or two that's it. It pays off in the end.

MrsWindyCity · January 2013

Yeah, it's pretty much par for the course for daycare. DS got sick pretty much immediately upon arriving to daycare and stayed sick for what seemed like ages. We managed to avoid all the "big" common illnesses like RSV, croup, etc. He did get a good amount of ear infections, though, which always sucked. And he was BFed, so do not beat yourself up about that at all. It just takes their immune systems a while to build up and then they're fine. Every year gets better and this year we (knock on wood) haven't even gotten a call from DCP all fall/winter.

Margaret Lemon · January 2013

You got lots of great advice above that I agree with. We just had tubes done 2 weeks ago. Only regret is that we didn't do it sooner.

I get that it is scary to think of your child having surgery, but it took less than 10 minutes. We were at the surgery center for under 2 hours and she was totally fine by that afternoon. It is a really easy recovery and so worth it! Good luck. I know how hard it is to have a sick baby.

EMOmamma · January 2013

I know you already said you're switching soon but with the asthma and constant cold symptoms maybe he is allergic to something at DC. I hope the switch helps and your little guy feels better soon.

With 2 kids in DC and my H drives an ambulance (so he's in and out of multiple hospitals everyday) someone in my house is always sick. It stinks. There was a sign on the infant room door that there is a confirmed case of RSV and on the toddler door a confirmed case of strep throat. Awesome. Wonder which one we'll get first.

ksyknelvr73 · January 2013

Sounds like my DS. He has been sick non-stop since he started daycare around 4 months old and he is almost 2. I will say that after a year old, the sicknesses did seem to spread out a little more - maybe once every month or two, instead of seemingly ALL THE TIME. I have been in your shoes and it is incredibly frustrating. It IS getting better though, and it will get better for you too...slowly but surely.

thatgirlnicki · January 2013

preggersin2011:

It depends upon the child. LO has only been sent home twice in over a year that she's been there and is almost never sick with a head cold. There have been kids there were pulled out because their parents didn't have any more 'sick' days at their work since their respective child was being sent home 1-2 times a week. LO shared germs with those kids too....

not saying it is, but it could be diet related too. LO eats tons of fresh veggies and fruit. The kids that i see who have colds all the time eat jarred food.

I'd say he eats about half and half jarred and homemade baby food. Lots of fruits and veggies. ...who knows! I definitely try more fresh food though!

thatgirlnicki · January 2013

mbenit4:

I personally feel being breastfed or not has nothing to do with it.

Neither one of my children were breastfed.

My DD started daycare at 6 weeks and my DS started at 3 months. DD got sick once her first year. DS got several colds. None of which he had to go to the pedi for. No fevers, etc. We rarely get sick in my house. I think it is because I am a major hand washer but no one believes me.

I feel a lot has to do with how the daycare handles cleaning on their end as well.

I absoulutely think your handwashing helps. I'm a believer in that too. This is part of the reason for changing daycares. I see a lot of different staff coming in and out of the room and I'm not convinced that people take handwashing seriously. I actually brought it up with the director about how often the toys are cleaned, etc...of course, nobody is going to say their daycare isn't clean!

thatgirlnicki · January 2013

EMO-mamma:

I know you already said you're switching soon but with the asthma and constant cold symptoms maybe he is allergic to something at DC. I hope the switch helps and your little guy feels better soon.

With 2 kids in DC and my H drives an ambulance (so he's in and out of multiple hospitals everyday) someone in my house is always sick. It stinks. There was a sign on the infant room door that there is a confirmed case of RSV and on the toddler door a confirmed case of strep throat. Awesome. Wonder which one we'll get first.

I do suspect allergies as he has had ongoing excema. He did not start getting sick until he entered daycare. I have no idea what he could be allergic to, but I definitely want to have him allergy tested. Our doctor said this is typically done at 1 year old. Food allergies run in my family (sister is highly allergic to peanuts and MIL is allergic to pine nuts). I'm sure daycare is not giving him either of those, but one never knows what sort of chemicals are used there.

Best of luck with your kids. I hope the RSV and strep stay away!

aglenn · January 2013

Yes, I have two in day care and this winter has been really unusually bad. I expected it to be bad, but it has really been more than I bargained for. One of them is always sick. DD has asthma; DS does not (that we know of yet anyway) but he has had a zillion bad colds and a few ear infections thrown in for good measure. We like our center and it is as clean as it can be, but there are just a lot of germs going around. Honestly I figure I probably bring the kids plenty of germs myself since I take public transportation to work downtown. Wish I had a solution for you! It is tough this year for sure. Oh, and I EBF both kids, for what it's worth, and it did/does not make a difference at all in the frequency of sickness (compared to other kids in their classes) as far as I can tell.

katieh1017 · January 2013

I'm at the pedi on a monthly basis at least. She's been at a center since she was 4 months. She's had bronchiolitis twice, coughs, runny noses and a sinus infection. Seems like she always has a cough or runny nose, just varies in intensity through the month. I think it's normal or depends on the kid like many have already mentioned. I'm hoping year 2 gets better.

Sonadora · January 2013

It gets better! I didn't start B in daycare until she was a year old, but it seemed like the instant she got there that January, the runny yucky nose started and lasted until almost June. She got two really wicked stomach bugs that kept us out of daycare for over a week each, a 3 day low grade fever, and a couple double ear infections. We only had to go to the doctor for the ear infections.

This winter season we have had one fever and one cold so far since November. Knock on wood!

FemShep · January 2013

When DD1 (formula fed) started daycare, she had a constantly snotty nose for her entire first winter. Made for great pictures!

Now that DD2 (breast fed) has started daycare, she....has a constantly snotty nose!

Seriously. It goes with the territory, don't beat yourself up. The good news is after her first winter, DD1 has the most incredible immune system ever. Good luck!

nattyncbride · January 2013

My child was the same: started daycare at 5mo, and was on anti-Bs for a good 9 months with something. We went to the doctor countless times, he was put on several different medications (he tried every anti-B which was scary from a resistance standpoint), and it was heartbreaking. I was not prepared! However, 1) he got ear tubes put in and his adenoids removed, and that helps A TON. 2) the next winter was better, and each winter gets better. All my working mom friends told me that would be the case, but I had to see it to believe it, and it is true!

I did not read the responses, I'm guessing a lot of women had similar experiences. It passes and does make them stronger by the time they hit school (though I will admit, I'd rather him be sick at 5yrs old than 5mo old, but such is the plight of the working mom). I also had a terrible time breastfeeding, and felt enormous guilt for only doing it for a few months; I told myself had I been able to extend the time, he would be better. If I could change anything, I would have cut myself a break. My son (almost 3) is a healthy, sturdy guy, thought I would not have thought it those first months in daycare.

Hang in there!

swoop24 · January 2013

thatgirlnicki:
EMO-mamma:

I know you already said you're switching soon but with the asthma and constant cold symptoms maybe he is allergic to something at DC. I hope the switch helps and your little guy feels better soon.

With 2 kids in DC and my H drives an ambulance (so he's in and out of multiple hospitals everyday) someone in my house is always sick. It stinks. There was a sign on the infant room door that there is a confirmed case of RSV and on the toddler door a confirmed case of strep throat. Awesome. Wonder which one we'll get first.

I do suspect allergies as he has had ongoing excema. He did not start getting sick until he entered daycare. I have no idea what he could be allergic to, but I definitely want to have him allergy tested. Our doctor said this is typically done at 1 year old. Food allergies run in my family (sister is highly allergic to peanuts and MIL is allergic to pine nuts). I'm sure daycare is not giving him either of those, but one never knows what sort of chemicals are used there.

Best of luck with your kids. I hope the RSV and strep stay away!

You've gotten a lot of good feedback on this, but I would also recommend looking into whether he has allergies. My DD was sick a TON during her first year and when she was 2, we discovered a dairy allergy. Once she was off dairy, her health improved markedly. They also say that there's also a correlation between eczema, asthma, and allergies - when one is present, one or the other often is as well. It's hard to say what's really going on, but it's definitely worth bringing up with your pedi.

Good luck!

AsOctoberFalls · January 2013

My (formula fed) DS was never sick in the infant room, but he switched to toddlers last month and has been sick constantly since then. It stinks, but it's been a bad winter for sickness.

And a home daycare might actually be less diligent about cleaning. Centers have to be really careful about that kind of stuff because the government is watching...

laurakaz13 · January 2013

My BF infant had at least 10 colds her first year in daycare! It's normal. It's also good for them as it builds immunity! Don't worry about it.

Bella427 · January 2013

Both of my kids were EBF and I didn't notice a drop of difference in immunity between them and the FF babies; everyone was sick for a year when they started daycare. My 5 year old's immune system has really improved though, so it does get better!

JWSchwarz · January 2013

DS was sick constantly from when he started at 3 months to about 9 months. Coincidentally, that is when some of the older babies moved to a different room. I think they had older siblings and were bringing in a lot of germs. I brought it up and reminded the teacher to wash their hands frequently, wash toys after they get mouthed, and started having them wash ds's hands and face with a wipe at every diaper change.
And, FWIW, he was EBF for 7 months and he was still sick every single week. I honestly don't think it made much of a difference. Ironically, he probably got sick LESS after he was getting some formula.
He has been healthier in his new room with less kids, plus he's had every germ that exists by now :

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