Back to real life?

daniellecowper · January 2013

Hey everyone .. I am so sad to have to be posting this but I started miscarrying Saturday night and just wondered when it's going to get easier .. Did you guys take time off work? I just can't face dealing with people right now .. Between the heavy bleeding, emotional roller coaster and physical pain I just don't know when I'll be ready to get back to real life .. Anyone have any advice?

smscartozzi · January 2013

I am so sorry for your loss. I don't really have any advise, I just started miscarrying on Wednesday. It's a long healing process. If I was not a SAHM I would have probably taken at least a few days off of work. I tried to go out to breakfast yesterday and had a not so great experience, it just takes time! Are you seeing your doctor today? It might make you feel better to be informed and have a plan.

daniellecowper · January 2013

My first appointment was already scheduled for tomorrow morning but I am going to call them shortly and see if they can see me today .. I don't even want to leave the house, let alone go back to work. I can't act like my cheerful self when I feel like my heart has been ripped out :

peanutmuse · January 2013

I am just going to take it day by day. I told my co-workers what is going on (the ones who I work closely with and who will have to cover for me), and they have been really supportive about taking as much time as I need.

I had a missed miscarriage, so my situation is slightly different. I worked for 4 days after I found out before I took Cytotec (the meds to start the physical miscarriage part). I found that it was difficult to bring myself to actually go to work, but once I was there, it was a welcome distraction. Right now, I am bleeding so bad that there is no way I can leave the house. So I'm taking the physical part as it comes.

I am so sorry for your loss.

smscartozzi · January 2013

I have to say I did feel slightly better after seeing the doctor. It felt good to have an idea of what was happening to my body and what our plan was for TTC next cycle. Give yourself as much time as you need to heal, don't be upset if you are still grieving in a few weeks or months. I think that is totally normal! Hang in there and if you ever need support the group of ladies here are great!

daniellecowper · January 2013

Thank you both for your advice. It's nice to have people to talk to that know how I feel. I'm so sorry that you're going through this too, it's awful

Escudero7106 · January 2013

I'm so sorry for your loss...

I suffered a natural mc at 6-7wks at home. Found out I was pregnant on 12/4 and mc on 12/12. While it has gotten 'easier', I still have my sad days. Yesterday was one of those sad days. I find that I get easily agitated sometimes and lash out at my hubby. If I can, I try to just do something constructive, clean, etc.

The hardest part for me was waiting for my body to readjust. It took almost 3-4 weeks for my HCG to come down to 0. AF finally showed up yesterday. That of course just reminds me that I am not preg and it reminds me of the mc.

Please please please take time for yourself. You are not expected to be a hero at this time. Make sure to talk with your husband, openly about how you are feeling. All the time. Ask him how he is feeling. My hubby surprised me and said that he missed the baby too. I had no idea that he felt this way.

I wish you a healthy recovery, and lots of prayers your way.

alleycat39 · January 2013

I'm so sorry for your loss. I bounce back and forth from this board and TTCAL. I took 2 days off of work for my D&C, and then had the weekend to also recover. My best advice is to allow yourself to feel however you are feeling and know that it is all part of the process. It is 2 months later for me and I can say I am in a much better place, but do have set backs from time to time. Use this forum as a place of support and a place to turn when you feel no one else understands. I feel that this was a huge factor in my emotional recovery process.

Many hugs to you. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat.

misti1983 · January 2013

I'm sorry for your loss. I had a natural m/c on 1/19 at 6 weeks, 2 days. I took last week off and went back to work today. Physically, I could have gone back to work by about Wednesday, but I am a psychologist and didn't feel up to interacting with patients. Taking that time off was the right decision. I felt really overwhelmed at the prospect of going back to work last week but felt ready today. Hugs to you.

daniellecowper · January 2013

Thank you all so much, just hearing that what I'm feeling is normal helps. I'm mentally preparing to go back to work wednesday, but we shall see .. Hugs to you all!

gscoville · January 2013

My situation is physically a little different, but mentally not at all. I had surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy on Friday Jan. 18, and was given all of last week off work. I felt physically fine to have gone back to work by about Thursday, but mentally I wasn't at all ready. I still feel like I'm not ready, but I do have to get back to things so will be heading in today.

The worst for me is dealing with my coworkers. We had told them all we were pregnant a week before our loss, and everyone was so excited for us. I work as a teacher in an online school, I'm in an office setting with 8 of us to a room at our own desks, so there's really no privacy in anything and we're all very close. I actually had my vice principal email everyone for me about the situation early last week and asked for some privacy through the week, which helped so I didn't have to tell them myself. But I know they're a caring bunch and will want to express their sympathy, and that's what's going to be hardest for me to deal with. Just thinking about it makes me cry, I just know as soon as someone asks me how I'm doing I'll bawl. And to top it off, I was keeping up with my emails through the week and saw there's a potluck lunch and a staff meeting after work today. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to handle either of those, thinking of the whole group together just makes me break out in a cold sweat.

So, take it easy and allow yourself whatever time you need, you're not alone in this! ((Hugs))

cpm1223 · January 2013

I went back to work the day after I found out that the baby stopped growing, but it was horrible and I didn't stay a full day.

For my d and c, I took Friday and today off, plus I had the weekend, and ill be back at work tomorrow.

For me, it's helping me to get back to my normal routine. I feel like I need something to keep my mind from constantly thinking about my miscarriage even though it is on my mind all the time..work helps me focus on other stuff even for a few hours.

Eliz77 · January 2013

Hugs to you, sorry you are going through this.

I found out my baby stopped developing on a Monday, worked as normal Tues, had a D&C Wed and returned to work Thurs. My Dr had told me I could go back to work, but that I should take it easy. In hindsight, I probably should've taken Thurs off since I have an on my feet all day, physical type of job. No one I worked with knew I was pregnant so going back to my routine was a welcome distraction. I would think having a natural miscarriage would be different though, so I'd ask my Dr what she thinks.

aessary03 · January 2013

I am so sorry! This is such a painful and devastating experience.

With that said, I took 2 days off work when we found out we had a missed miscarriage. Then I took 2 more days off last week when I had a D&C. My employer was extremely empathetic and told me to take as much time as I needed. If your employer is generous about this, I would definitely take a couple days to cry/feel depressed/go through your emotions.

Again, I'm so sorry.

Want a personalized experience?

Back to real life?

Re: Back to real life?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards