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Kind of offended....

lashanna92lashanna92
in May 2013 Moms

My grandmother is very well close to her 80's and bless her heart she is a self proclaimed bargin shopper. She went out to a second hand store today and bought baby some outfits. My fiance says that we will take the clothes but more than likely not but baby in them.!.....Wait, what?

It's not like she would buy something nasty, stained up, or had holes. She is a little old lady who loves those typs of stores and buys what she thinks is nice out of the kindness of her heart. He is not being mean about it but I am not better than anyone to wear or buy second hand clothing if it is nice condition.

He says that his other two children did not wear second hand so neither will mine. I am not saying that he wont have anything new but if it's nice why should it matter? I also have 3 family members who just had boys and are offering some out grown clothes, he's being kind of snooty at that too.........

they are just trying to help and this is what I am used to....

Is he right or am I being to sensitive to it?

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Re: Kind of offended....

  • BekW2009BekW2009 member
    Just keep it. At the end of the day you will end up dressing baby, and after you wash your new clothes a couple times they will look just like used clothes. He won't even notice used clothes after a while!
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  • MinnesotanMomMinnesotanMom
    What was his rationale?  Did he say he wouldn't even allow the baby to wear it if it was in good condition?  If so, I'm not really sure where he is coming from.
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  • annagryaannagrya member
    He's being ridiculous.  Why does everything have to be new?  And it does seem ungrateful your grandmother.  It's so wasteful to throw away clothes that are still nice and can be worn and loved by other children just because you have a pride issue.  Just my two cents...
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  • smash1228smash1228 member
    My grandmother has bought a couple outfits for the baby from a second hand store. They are in very good condition, but I did not tell H that they are from a second hand store bc I know he would probably react the same way as your husband. His mom even went so far as to say none of her grandbabies will ever have anything from a yard sale. My response was "Well my grandmother has gotten some of my nephews very favorite toys from yard sales and second hand stores, not everybody can afford to buy brand new stuff." She got quite really quick...so annoying!
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  • lashanna92lashanna92

    imageannagrya:
    He's being ridiculous.  Why does everything have to be new?  And it does seem ungrateful your grandmother.  It's so wasteful to throw away clothes that are still nice and can be worn and loved by other children just because you have a pride issue.  Just my two cents...

    This is how I feel as well but I try to see it from his point of view because my family helps eachother and share together his family does not o he's used to buying everything new and getting everything himself so im not sure if its like he might be feeling like less of a supporter? (the other children are not mine)

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  • MinnesotanMomMinnesotanMom
    I would acknowledge his feelings and tell him that you appreciate what a great supporter/provider he is, but that you also feel that these items (as long as in good condition) are cute and you want them for baby.  Plus, your g-ma would love to see the baby in them.  There are so many upsides to used products... better for the environment, less expensive etc.... so this seems like a needless restriction to me.
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  • sometimesdeesometimesdee

    imageBekW2009:
    Just keep it. At the end of the day you will end up dressing baby, and after you wash your new clothes a couple times they will look just like used clothes. He won't even notice used clothes after a while!

     

    This. Just tell him you bought them new, took off the tags, and washed them! 

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  • MAdams728MAdams728 member

    I think it's a bit silly, babies grow out of clothes so quickly and you can find pretty much brand new items at second hand stores. 

    There are a few things that I wouldnt want used, but cute little outfits that are in good condition are definitely worth accepting.   I just wouldnt show them to him.  Once they are mixed in with all of the new stuff and everything is washed, he likely wont ever know.


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  • ScottsdaleMamaScottsdaleMama member
    imageMAdams728:
    I think it's a bit silly, babies grow out of clothes so quickly and you can find pretty much brand new items at second hand stores.nbsp; There are a few things that I wouldnt want used, but cute little outfits that are in good condition are definitely worth accepting.nbsp;nbsp; I just wouldnt show them to him.nbsp; Once they are mixed in with all of the new stuff and everything is washed, he likely wont ever know.

    I agree with this. I wouldn't overtly lie about the clothes being new, I just wouldn't say anything. I've been washing LO's clothing, blankets, etc as we purchase/receive them so my DH wouldn't even know the difference.



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  • BsAsKateBsAsKate

    I can totally see why you would be upset about that.  I am one of seven kids, had hand-me-downs for most of my life and it never was an issue. There is nothing wrong with babies wearing hand-me-downs also seeing as the baby will probably only end up wearing it two or three times before the baby is grown out of them anyway.

    Keep the clothes, you are the babys Mom so this decision really should be yours and I am sure he will realize what a good idea it is when he sees the money you are saving!

    IVF# 1 with ICSI 05/02/2012 - Husband had surgery 07/13/2012 - Started BCP 07/31/2012 - Stopped BCP 08/02/2012 - Little Friend came and had trand vag echo and blood test 08/03/2012 - started Puregon 250UI a day 08/10/2012 - blood test and transvag echo. Continued with Puregon, added Orgalutron and Menopur 08/12/2012 - did regular meds in morn, Pregnyl trigger shot at 930pm 08/14/2012 - ER with only a shot of anesthetic to my whoha - OUCH -next time i will ask for general. They were only able to get at one ovary because the other is located too close to my intestines. 08/17/2012 - ET of 2 Grade A emryos. Dr said only two really good ones were available and if the others make it to blastocyst stage. 08/27/2012 - No call from doctor so we can assume nothing to freeze. 08/31/2012 - Beta #1 286.2 - I am pregnant! Doctor is not doing a second Beta 09/1472012 - Saw babys heart flutter Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • MianandersonMiananderson member

    imageannagrya:
    He's being ridiculous.  Why does everything have to be new?  And it does seem ungrateful your grandmother.  It's so wasteful to throw away clothes that are still nice and can be worn and loved by other children just because you have a pride issue.  Just my two cents...

    This exactly! 

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  • BeckyTheEngineerBeckyTheEngineer
    Sorry, but I totally disagree with the advice to sneak in the secondhand goods. I think that you need to address this issue with your husband, because it will come up again all the time. Personally, I like getting used things when it means that I can save money to use on something else or savings.

    I have friends who won't touch "used" anything, even passing things from kid to kid within their family. It strikes me as an extraordinary waste of money. But, there is no right answer for everyone. Maybe you guys will compromise to have all new clothes but accept gear or furniture that is used, or something like that.
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  • evilgreencows5evilgreencows5 member
    Most of my babies clothes so far are used. With they way they grow out of clothes it seems silly to me to buy a brand new wardrobe. Baby has some nice new things that I or friends have bought but I have also gone to DAV and gotten several outfits.
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  • LolalipsyLolalipsy member
    imageMommyLizzy:
    My husband is snooty about this topic too.nbsp; I just ignore him.nbsp; Tell him its "vintage" sounds fancier lol.A lot of things you get at second hand store are way nicer then things you get from places like Target, maybe mention that to him.


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  • SymphonyGirlSymphonyGirl member
    I have always gratefully taken second hand clothes for our kids and shared what our kids have outgrown with others.  I also like consignment stores, thrift stores, and some vintage clothes for myself. If it's clean and in good condition, I don't see what the big deal is.  I think he's being silly. 
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  • jennyandjasonsbabyjennyandjasonsbaby
    You are not being too sensitive. Second hand clothes are just as good as new, the baby is going to grow so fast that being able to pay a little less for clothes that he will be in and out of is nice.  As a matter of fact, with the exception of 4 outfits we got on clearance, everything we have for our baby is second hand.  We went to consignment shops and I've been shopping on Facebook Yardsales and that is how I have purchased all of the clothes we have.  Take all the handmedowns you can get, they will come in handy, and I'm sure your F will get over it.
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  • slweaver0626slweaver0626 member

    imageSymphonyGirl:
    I have always gratefully taken second hand clothes for our kids and shared what our kids have outgrown with others.  I also like consignment stores, thrift stores, and some vintage clothes for myself. If it's clean and in good condition, I don't see what the big deal is.  I think he's being silly. 

    Agreed!  Where do you think 90% of my maternity wear came from?! And DH supports it.. because then I get more for my money and the shopping bug gets squashed quicker. He doesn't mind one bit.

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  • mandy_mariemandy_marie member
    I think he's being a bit ridiculous.  Accepting hand-me-downs or used clothing is such an easy way to save money for the more important things that baby needs.  I agree with the idea of just integrating the clothes with the rest of baby's wardrobe.  Eventually he won't remember, or he'll get over it.
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