I really, really do appreciate how concerned H is about me and the baby and our health. But it's getting ridiculous and really starting to piss me off.
He will absolutely not let me help paint the "nursery". We have Low-VOC paint, my MW said it was fine, I have a mask and gloves, there are windows everywhere, plenty of air flow, etc., but he won't even open the bucket when I'm in the room. Which would actually be OK with me if he didn't do maybe 1/10th of the painting that needs to be done TWO WEEKS AGO and then stop. He painted, like, half of the trim and only one coat. We're going from black to white, you need more that one coat, hubs. He's also horrible at painting. I can see his brush marks. It drives me nuts because I come from a long line of house painters who taught me how to paint correctly when I was five and all I want to do is fix it but he gets REALLY pissy when I imply I'm going to do it.
He also made a really huge stink when I wanted a hot dog the other day. Tried giving me that spiel about listeria and didn't really care when I explained that the hot dog was well cooked.
Again, I think it's great but he's taking it way too far. I am really regretting suggesting he read a pregnancy book. I was hoping he would sympathize with me but instead he's turned into dad-zilla and now I'm hot-dog less and have only a 1/10th painted room.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Re: H is starting to drive me crazy
Um... can I trade with you? Mine has determined that since I really only use vinegar anyway I can still clean just fine and wants to have sex all the time. RLP hurts, man! I need a break sometimes!
In all honesty, H won't let me clean toilets or anything that dogs have peed or pooped on. Which since MIL's dog came to visit us has been pretty much everything in our house.
So it's not all bad.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
I said I was going to get gas some Sunday, and DH googled to see if I was allowed to! I should have just said no & let him go. It was FREEZING!
I am sooo glad we found a good and reasonably priced painter! We got hit with a tornado a couple years ago, and the only house damage was to the one room I hadn't painted. The guy did a great job.
BFP #1 5/27/12- m/c 7/9/12 @ 10w2d (cytotec induced @11w).
Fibroids, Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism
BFP #2 11/18/12 EDD 7/27/13
Gotta love men. I think we can agree that it's great they care so much but this bubble is driving me nuts!
H and I had a m/c a few years ago but I was OOT when it happened so luckily he doesn't blame it on sex. While I do not want it right now because of the RLP as soon as that bits over with I would like a little sex time.
Just remind him that once the baby gets here it's suggested you go SIX WEEKS without any sex. Ask him if he's really willing to go another 25-30 weeks without sex. Hopefully that works.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Hey if he's going to do it, awesome! But if yours is like mine he'll SAY he'll do it, but then he'll suddenly get "too busy" to do it and expect you to.
Although I hear those Baby Bullets make it really easy to quickly make your own. I have a Beba Baby Cook that I love for making homemade apple sauce so I do plan to make some of my own baby food, but I also know that it's a lot of work to feed that exclusively so I will buy some store-bought stuff.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
MH lets me make my own choices. I think you guys need to have a talk with YHs about autonomy, otherwise the problems you are experiencing now are going to get much worse when the baby is here.
There is a huge difference between "I want to do this instead so you can relax during the pregnancy." And "I won't let you do this."
I'm not ashamed to admit I've occasionally gotten assistance by a vibrator when H was out of town (or I was just pissed at him and didn't want to have sex with him). Haha, not sure if that helps you but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do, right?
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Mine is ridiculously worried as well. Most of the time it's cute.
But when there was a bit of dirt under my nails and he said 'you should take better care of yourself, it's a hotbed for bacteria and it's bad for the baby', he went to far. Also, the 'What did you eat today' with the stern look on his face, that's something I could do without.
This. My DH would never say these things and there would be trouble if he did. There is a big line between being a helpful partner and a controlling crazy person.
Haha, this! Exactly this! Do you think if he spoke directly to your midwife, he might feel more comfortable?
TTC since Aug 2011. BFP #1 on 10/28/2011 EDD of 07/02/2012 Natural MC on 11/22/2012 BFP #2 on 10/28/2012 EDD of 7/13/13 Judah Ari born on 7/11/13.
I love my rainbow baby!
He talked to her, he's actually gone to all of my appointments so far. He just said he hasn't been able to find any studies that say painting is actually safe for women, and since we bought "low-VOC" and not "no-VOC" he doesn't want to risk it. And the hot dog thing is actually more courtesy of my vegan father than anything else. I have since banned those two from talking about my diet while I'm pregnant. I eat healthy enough. If I have a little ice cream here or there it's not hurting me or the baby! Men.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
I see it more as it's his baby, too, and he has every right to be concerned about the baby. For many things he stopped doing things when I had to- like drinking and going out for sushi. He is attempting to make just as much sacrifice as I am, but prefers to do things like heavy lifting (which I couldn't even do pre-pregnancy so that's nothing new), painting, cleaning, etc. so that we don't risk anything. Having a loss history and infertility history like mine means this is probably going to be our only baby so, yeah, he's rightfully overprotective. I'm OK with it usually, but it drives me nuts when he gets lazy and doesn't finish a project that I could have finished in one night.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
I do have an infertility and loss history. This baby cost us $25k to make (not to mention the time, emotional, and physical costs), so I get being over protective. I would never do anything to jeopardize my pregnancy and my husband trusts my judgement.
We are in the process of painting the entire interior of our house. I am doing every edge around the ceiling, floor, and frames. This is not putting my baby at risk. The fumes I smell from air sucked in by the heater in my car are worse than that. I'm not going to stay at home for 9 months just to be on the safe side. That's ridiculous.
If my husband said "Let's only buy organic because it will be better for the baby to avoid pesticides." I'd think he is being a little bit overprotective, but it's a nice sentiment. If he said "You are not allowed to eat Oreos anymore because they're unhealthy for the baby." There would be a problem. That's the difference between being overprotective and controlling. I'm going to make my own choices.